For You To Notice Me
by Perfect butterfly blade
Summary: Hermoine falls in love with Harry only to have him humiliate her. A saviour comes in unexpected places but she doesnt want to fall in love with him? Mistakes are made and lovers fight but will love that is true and pure really prevail? rated for sexual
1. Dear readers disclaimer

Dear readers,

I thank you for looking at my story. This is a Hermione-Draco story so bear with it…. The first few chapters are pretty boring and I guess irrelevant in places but it does pick up and you will love the ending. I am going to just say now that I don't own ANY of the Harry potter characters and any of the songs in this story either… I will list all the songs at the end… I actually burned this into a cd…. There is one song that isn't in the story but is in the credits of the goblet of fire and I fell in love with it. Anyway I will get on with the story….I just didn't want to write a disclaimer on every chapter… So here you are guys For You To Notice Me….

Kind regards,

Perfect Butterfly Blade.


	2. Home is where your hat sits

Chapter One

Home is where you hat sits

It was a bright shiny day. Not a cloud in the sky, but I wished there were. It felt odd that the sun could be so shiny and bright when I felt around me my entire world crumble. I pulled my bag over my shoulder and walked out of the door my feet pounding the pavement like my heart pounding in my chest. I was so mad. My parents... They didn't understand how could they? I'd made a mistake but they didn't have to do this. Just because they caught me smoking pot they decided that they could just put me on the street like that I worked for my money to buy it. It was so I could mellow out and not stress. I never had to stress to much about homework though, I had such a lack of a social life that all I really did was study. No one wants to hang out with the smart girl. But I also worked at the local muggle cinemas on my breaks from school. My parents kept most of my money from work. I saved most of what they didnt take for my books for school and spent the rest on transport and food.

There was only a few days until the train left for Hogwarts so I decided to see if I could visit the Weasley family. Maybe Harry would be there. The Dursleys had kicked Harry out and he now stayed at the Weasley's who were pretty relaxed about smoking pot as it was legal for wizards and they all did it too.

I waited in the local park and smoked a joint while I waited till dark to call the knight bus. I didn't like hailing it in the day and I didnt think you could during the day anyway. Muggles and all that. I watched the kids play and then leave and finally watched the last ray of sun slip into the darkness and the stars started to twinkle. I stuck out my hand and hailed the bus.

I caught the bus until I reached a few meters from the Burrow and walked towards the bright window the happy family behind them. All of a sudden it started to rain.

"Just my luck," I thought, "almost there and it rains!" I pulled my bag over my head and ran. When I got there I opened the door and felt a warm glow come to my face. My safe haven.

"Look at you girl, your soaked to your skin!" Mrs Weasley shrieked not even being polite enough to say a hello. She pulled out her wand and dired me off with a quick flick. Then she ran over and hugged me enveloping me in her warm arms.

"How have you been pet?" she asked kindly. I broke into tears into her arms.

"Mum... D...D...Dad kick...kicked me...me out... they found out I... I... was smoking.. p..p...pot," I stuttered into her arms...

"Shh pet you can stay here as long as you like... Everyone Hermoine is moving in with us." Everyone turned and stared, I've never been so embarrassed. Bookworm Hermoine smokes pot and gets kicked out of home so much for her squeaky clean image. I was supposed to be head girl this year too. Harry wandered over to me his eyes glazed.

"Hey Hermoine, so happy to see you, would you like a joint?" he handed me a small white stick. He stuck out his wand. "And there was light." fire flew from te end of his wand lighting the joint. He took a drag and passed it to me. "It's pretty good stuff." I smiled and took the joint from him inhaling deeply. Then everything was mellow.

"Would you like something to eat?' Mrs Weasley asked setting a place before I could answer. I sat down and started to eat heartedly munchies taking hold of me.

After dinner i sat on the couch with Harry and Ron infront of the fire. We talked about everything and anything. Thats why we were so close and such good friends. I sat between ron and Harry. After a few hours I yawned loudly. I put my head on Harry's shoulder and he put his arm around me.

"We better go to sleep we have school in the morning," I said putting away the chop bowl siscors and bong. We all retired to our room and before I knew it we were fast asleep.


	3. A shocking revelation

Chapter Two:

A Shocking Revelation.

I woke early to the smell of bacon and garlic mushrooms my favorite breakfast. When I got downstairs everyone was already ready with the exception of Fred and George who had already graduated. Our trunks had been packet the night before and waited with our beloved pets to be taken to platform 9 and 3/4we ate quickly and made our way to the Weasley's new car a ford mustang convertible and before we knew it we were seated in our compartment.

It was only when Harry Ron and I were seated in our compartment when suddenly I remembered through my green haze that I Hermione granger was head girl.

"Hey guys," I laughed merrily, "I got so bent I had completely forgotten I was head girl!" Ron and Harry both got up and hugged me tight making a sandwich of me.

"Blimey well done Hermione!" Ron smiled finally releasing me from his grip of death. Harry kissed me on the cheek and also congratulated me.

"Well I have to meet Professor McGonagall in the head carriage, see you later boys!" I waved them off before they could see the color coming to my cheeks after Harry had kissed me.

"See Ya senorita!" they laughed in unison as they waved me off.

"Muchas gracias per favor!" I replied over my shoulders.

I walked to the head carriage as another wave of my stupidity had hit me, how was head boy? I snorted knowing all along whom it would be he was only the second smartest student at Hogwarts after me of course. He hated the fact I was smarter than him and when ever he called me mudblood I always made a point that I was smarter and far better at him at almost anything except flying of course but I was working on that one, but I could always say that I may be a mudblood but I'm smarter and a much better wizard than him and he knew he was only second place to me. He never had anything to say to that. I chuckled to myself at the thought of the fights to come and I wondered how far I could go without getting into trouble for making his beautiful blonde hair stand up on end like Einstein!

"laughing at yourself granger?" a nasty snarling voice mocked me with no sincerity, "I would have thought the whole school would do that enough behind your back without you contributing. The mudblood girl who loves the half blooded prince while he loves every other girl in school." was that a hint to boredom in his voice? Malloy never I dismissed the thought as the thought entered my mind. I opened the door and his voice paled yes actually paled (well more of a grayish tinge really) and walked in ignoring his sullen face and trudging feet as he flopped himself with no grace whatsoever onto the far end of the sofa far as possible away from me. His red swollen eyes made him look as though Draco Malfoy the king of slytherin had been crying his big blue eyes taking on a purple tinge.

"Whatever is with your eyes Mr. Malfoy? McGonagall asked receiving a dirty look from Snape who was standing as much as he could in the shadows behind her.

"It's none of your business but crying if you must know," He grumbled at the door, "and no I don't want to talk about it." He turned his face to hide his eyes as much as he could behind his bangs.

"very well," she replied curtly, "you two will be in charge of the patrolling roster with the prefects. The prefects are there to do ninety percent of your work you just have to plan everything. There is a Halloween ball a Yule tide and valentine's ball and anything else you wish to add to that, you are also in charge of when we take hogsmede trips and must meet with your prefects the first Friday of every month. We have listed all your responsibilities in here," she handed them each a book about the size of their heads; "You do not have to patrol the trains today as the prefects have already been administered rosters to do so. To get to your rooms you... oh the map is in the book of yours so just use that. You are free to go if you like but if you would prefer to you can stay here with us." Malfoy stood abruptly his book weighing him down significantly.

"I think I'll pass thank you," he muttered and shuffled himself out the door.

"That boy has been funny ever since what happened to his sister," McGonagall sighed as Snape went out to find something more interesting than two chatty Gryffindor girls. for a second I had not registered what she had said until it hit me she had been talking about Malfoy.

"wait Malfoy has a sister? I never knew that he has a sister."

"Had miss granger he had a sister." she corrected me.

"what happened?" I asked now stupid and curious about this tid bit of gossip on Master Draco Malfoy.

"I shouldn't have even told you that miss granger but now I have you must promise me you will keep this to yourself. I believe you can keep a secret cant you Miss Granger?" he blue eyes pierced into me like she was a laser and I was just a simple piece of aluminum tin foil...

"Yes Professor McGonagall," I swallowed nervously.

"Well it all started eighteen years ago when Lucius had just lost his sanity to the dark lord his wife and he has conceived a child. Unfortunately wizarding law dictates that the estate was to be left to the eldest child and in a pureblooded family it was unacceptable to have a first born daughter when you also have a son. So after he had his dark mark in place he found it out that his wife was carrying a girl and for two years he kept her inside to hide the pregnancy poor woman had no one to talk to about what she was about to go through anyway this girl was born and they hid her from the wizarding society sent her to a muggle school and raised her as a muggle with a completely different last name. I never found out what they called her but trust me Dumbledore and the rest of us knew of our exisistence and I only wish we had done something."

"About what get to the point," I tapped my toes an obvious itch of my irritation at the suspense and the waiting I had to do to get the truth of the story. I didn't expect the things she was about to say.

"Yes yes miss granger patience is a virtue." she rolled her eyes at my impatience and continued, "Well a year later young master Malfoy was born and so it meant that his sister could no longer exist but instead of doing then and there they waited until the summer just gone do commit such a grotesque crime."

"What happened damn it!" my patience was on a string now I wanted my imagination to stop running wild and I wanted to know the truth but before she had even told me I knew what she was talking about but still I had not anticipated the shock of true revelations.

"He would only ever let one person get close to him really honestly close to him and that was his sister so naturally he is furious as I would hope about what happened to her. You see his father and mother weren't much in the way of parent's cold and calculating to the last minute they did it for a reason I just wish I knew what it was. Miss granger sometime this summer mister Malfoy's sister was raped and murdered. Not many know of this except for the staff and none of the students and we don't want words leaked and if we hear a trace of a rumor I will follow you up understand? anyway in a way it was a blessing for Mister Malfoy no matter how hard he is taking it his father was sent to Azkaban for his crimes and the dark lord spares the children of the damned those who receive the dementors kiss it is the highest honor in his society, no matter the plans he had for Mister Malfoy he now has to give him pardon for his father's crime. Tea or Coffee?" she asked as if she had not said a word of Malfoy's predicament.

"No I suddenly don't feel all too thirsty but thank you anyway," I got up to leave my legs beneath me feeling like jelly.

"Cake?" She asked as I rose."

"No I am not particularly hungry either thank you. I think I should be finding my friends on patrol anyway."

"Remember Miss Granger not a word to a single soul breathing or not, not a word, you have to promise me this. Especially master Malfoy if he was to know that we know well honestly I'd be scared of the consequences as I should be of course."

"I promise," I turned and slid from the carriage, it would be hard to bite my tongue but if Malfoy could do it so could I and he had, had to endure so much over the summer that it would be dirty and low to go spreading this gossip all over school.

I went to find an empty carriage as the boys were patrolling the train after much debate Dumbledore had thankfully picked Ron as my replacement prefect because all the girls in my class were tramps who were never responsible enough for themselves let alone the rest of the students and Ron had actually been doing his own homework instead of copying mine in his own words and handwriting not to mention his maturity going through the roof! I had run into the boys on my way to an empty carriage and after insisting I had enough responsibility being head girl without having to help them with their job (Separating a pair of second year students who has managed to jinx themselves into Siamese twin hood) and leaving to get on with it a smile plastered all over my face.

After finally managing to find myself an empty carriage I pulled out my old worn copy or Piratica and started to read trying to ignoring the drama queen bawling in the carriage behind me. Finally it became too much and I had to tell the mystery sobber to shut up before they drowned in their own tears like Alice in wonderland would have if she hadn't been small enough to fit into the glass bottle. I opened the carriage to find Draco Malfoy to be the drowning drama queen sobbing his eyes more blood shot than before I was so surprised to see it was him that I walked to his side lifted up his chin and smacked him fair and square over the face. I couldn't tell anyone about what had happened to him over the summer but this would have been to priceless to keep to myself except for the fact that he was just sitting there staring at me, I figured he too was in shock.

"Leave Granger...please." If slapping him hadn't shocked me I actually fell on my ass when he said please.

"Wow Malfoy has manners who'd a thunk it?" but he didn't reply he just turned to stare out the window so I sat down and again pulled out my book just happy to be able to read in peace. We stayed like this until the train stopped. Even then I felt weird because Malfoy just stood and walked out without a word backwards and he had never had a comeback to my last nasty comment. I felt like the wizarding world as I had known it had been dropped on its head or something of the like now that Malfoy wasn't rude I didn't know how to be towards him.

I left the train to find Harry, Ron and Ginny all running for their carriage and I got there just in time laughing at Harry's head popped out the window looking for me and he waved me over as soon as he saw me.

"How'd you go with the ying yang twins?" I laughed.

"We had no idea how to fix it they are just going to have to stay that way until Dumbledore fixes them I'm glad we were never that stupid I mean impersonating Crabbe and Goyle was bad enough I would hate to be a Siamese twin!" Harry laughed sitting next to Ginny

"Who got head boy?" Ginny asked ever curious her beautiful eyes wide open with ever untold expression and wonder.

"Draco Malfoy," I slumped into my couch beside Ron dreading having to face the new weird guy at school. Even more was I would not be used to not being the weird one. I wasn't sure which was worse.

"Blimey Hermione, you poor thing," Ron put a brotherly arm around my shoulder to comfort me. I wrapped my arms around him hugging him with only a fraction of the force he had used against me earlier having no luck of making mince meat of him.

"You stoner Ronnikins," I giggled using his least favorite nickname given to him by his ever irritating muggle girlfriend who was forever mailing and trying to call him, "You sure are saying Blimey allot."

"Blimey," he joked nudging me.

The way to Hogwarts was pretty much the same; we sat through another sorting, another speech and another feast, our last. I looked around knowing in my heart I would sure miss this place after the year was finished. Harry slipped his arms around my shoulder.

"its gunna be strange not coming back next year," as if reading my thoughts he sighed in my ear.

"Yup sure is, I was just thinking I'll definitely miss this place," I sighed in return burrowing my head into his shoulder until I remembered what Malfoy had said before we had entered the heads carriage was he being nasty and lying or was he telling the truth bored with his imagination? I pulled away suddenly trying hard to hide the red blush on my cheeks growing redder and hotter the closer Harry came to me.

"Are you okay Hermione?" he whispered in my ear making me feel even redder and even hotter and more uncomfortable. My eyes shot of over to the slytherin table trying to find my partner in accommodation and accommodation only for the year. I found him looking sullen pushing his food around his plate while his friends nagged him insistently. I had a feeling they too knew what I had only learned this afternoon. he looked up and caught my eye held it for a moment and then turned away as suddenly as he had looked up.

"I'm fine Harry," I replied once I had composed myself, "I'm going to go check out my new dorm I share with ferret boy." I got up and calmly walked out of the great hall, when I was finally out of sight I stopped and quickly memorized my map and ran to my new dorm never noticing the shadow following me.


	4. Hell Hath No Fury Like A Witch Scorned

Chapter Four.

Hell Hath No Fury Like A Witch Scorned

The next morning i raced to the great hall to receive my schedule for the year.

"Yes! Transfiguration, charms, defense against the dark arts, potions and care of magical creatures!" I jumped excitedly, "and a free day on Thursdays to study!"

"Yeah i got the same thing," Harry beamed at me.

"Awww crap," Ron muttered unhappily, "I got divination, transfiguration, Herbology, defense against the dark arts and Care of magical creatures with all my free study time through the week!" He grumbled as we ate our breakfast and even more so when Harry and I finally left to attend our first class of double potions together.

Ron had asked me to assign his classes this year as he would like to do what he was best at but it did not help his case when he was complaining like a baby who just had its lollypop taken away. I walked down the halls chatting and saying hi to anyone who recognized me or i recognized myself but eventually on our way to the dungeons, the number of people began to thin out drastically. Harry slipped his hand into mine and squeezed it. I shut my eyes for a split second to ease the tension in my head and try killing the butterflies in my stomach.

"Harry..." i started, "there's something we need to talk about..."

"Mmm?" he inquired without a word. I pushed him hard against the wall and pushed my lips against his with enough force to give him the message.

"I really like you Harry." I turned and ran to potions trying to regulate my breathing, as I got closer to class.

Harry stood leaning against the wall brushing his lips where warm ones had just been a smile covering his face from ear to ear. After a few moments of privacy, he decided that he himself should make his way to potions.

As soon as I saw, the blonde mop of hair slumping against the wall beside the entrance to our first class of the year and made my way directly towards him.

"Malfoy don't ask questions just be my partner in potions okay?"

"What? Why should I?"

"Cause I said so and i thought i said don't ask questions."

"I don't have to do what you say Granger"

"Just shut up and do it!"

"Fine," he grumbled whilst he returned to his slouching muttering under his breath, "So much for a truce." All of a sudden, the hallway began to fill with students and i watched in mortification as Harry came closer towards me. I quickly changed my point of interest to my feet and tried to hide my reddening cheeks. To my sheer dumb luck no sooner had Harry made it to my side than my unlikely savior appeared storming into the classroom his robes billowing behind him and his books tucked neatly under his arm.

"Hermione i need to speak with you later," Harry then pecked me on the cheek and walked off. I felt the butterflies in my stomach that i had tried so hard to crush kill and destroy came roaring back to life like a fairy every time someone who really believed in fairies clapped their hand and bought them back to life and the feeling of being stared at didn't help the strange sensation for me.

"You coming?" the familiar voice of one Draco Malfoy sulked from behind me in my childish girl daze. He made his way to the des at the far back of the room, stood behind it, and nudged his head at me indicating me to follow. I sat beside him and stared at the back of Harry's head that in return turned around and gave me a funny look causing me to giggle into my hands.

"Something funny Miss Granger?" Snape drawled at me bored at my obviously childish behavior.

"No professor," I blushed deeply i could swear that all my blood belonged in my face because of the amount of blushing i have been doing in the last few weeks.

"Five points from Gryffindor for disruptive behavior." I applied a face that would have anyone think i had been forced to suck lemons instead of attending potions, which in all honestly i would prefer to suck a lemon, for a few moments until he turned around and i dropped the sour look from my face reminiscing the thought of Harry's strong arms encircling me and the feel of his powerful yet oh so soft lips against mine in a brief but what to me seemed electrified by the heat, passion and spontaneity of the moment that had passed between us.

I was rudely awakened from my daydreaming by a hard poke in the side with the corner of a book by Malfoy telling me that class was finished. I looked down to find that happily my parchment was filled with the notes from the lesson as given to me by Snape without my noticing. Relief washed over me until i remembered my predicament and the butterflies once again returned to my stomach. What had i done? Would this ruin our friendship? Had I just ruined our friendship? Did he like me too? Panic surged through me like a rushing river and my heart felt about ready to give in.

"What have you got next?" I asked Malfoy. In reply, he simply handed me his timetable only for me to discover his like Harry's was exactly the same as mine. "I'll be your study buddy if you walk with me to classes our timetables match can't hurt."

"Why don't you walk with the beloved saint potter?" He asked his voice skeptical but somehow sounding like he was about to laugh.

"He uhhh," I stumbled with an excuse, "He is probably busy talking to someone else." As soon as I had said it, i knew it had come out bad and was a very unbelievable but he just rolled his eyes.

"Fine," he grumbled not in the least buying it but deciding for some reason unbeknownst to man to keep his big trap shut for once.

Charms was much like potions but instead of daydreaming away the class, i was panicking. If he liked me, he surely would have said so by now but instead he wanted to talk. All this waiting was driving me crazy i hated not having the answer. Dread filled my stomach.

"Granger what is wrong with you today? I thought i was pale! You are as white as a sheet!" Malfoy nudged me ten minutes before class was due to finish and snapping me back into reality only made problems worse.

"None of your business Malfoy," I snapped back at him my voice no higher than a whisper that only his ears could hear.

"You haven't even answered one question all day!"

"Shut up, I'm trying to concentrate!"

"You are not your too busy drooling over..."

"I said shut up Ferret Boy!"

"Fine," he grumbled not bothering me any longer and finally deciding to save his breath thankfully.

After our class was lunch and Malfoy and I were making our way to the great hall without saying a word when Harry came running up behind us.

"Hermione! Hermione wait up I'm not a bloody Emu!" he puffed and panted as he finally made he way to my side. "Can we talk now?"

"Sure Harry," i stood there waiting for him to start talking.

"In private?" he nodded towards Malfoy. I nodded and Malfoy began walking to the Hall by himself as Harry and I made our way to an empty classroom

"Look Harry if it is about this morning forget about it okay? Just pretend it never happened."

"Hermione he grabbed my wrist and pulled me closer so our lips were just millimeters apart, "you know i cant do that, it's in the open now," my stomach now felt like someone was filling a lead balloon with helium inside of it, "I mean you're a really nice girl but you're just not..." he didn't need to finish his sentence, i just wasn't girlfriend material. I blinked the forming tears from my eyes and ran past Harry trying so hard to empty my broken heart. I ran Malfoy in less than three minutes and plenty of other stunned students until i finally made my way to the lake where i tripped over a rock landing hard on my knees and tearing my skirt and scraping my hands. I felt more of a wreck than i looked and i sat there for a good ten minutes while i stared out and over the vast cool waters of the lake letting my broken heart have a chance to mend somehow. I pulled a joint from my bag and cursed loudly when i could not find my lighter. From the side my eyes caught a flicker of blonde hair and a smaller flicker of flame.

"Go away Malfoy."

"well okay if you don't need a lighter," he went to put it back in his pocket and realizing the dilemma I was now in i felt like crying again, "well if it means that much to you I'll trade." he laughed at my sudden attack of spookiness. Then to my stupidity, the answer came to me.

"What do i have that you could want Malfoy? Besides i can just light it myself," i pulled out my wand and muttered a short incantation and a large flame propelled itself from the end. I used this flame to light the small whit smelly stick hanging out of my mouth.

"True, well firstly some that," he nodded towards the joint in my hand now smoking away, "You also have brains and friends." I again just looked over the lake feeling as if i wanted to cry. "Ok, ok so you're a loner I'm sorry," he tried joking, which only made me cry. "Gees girlie let's not have a flash flood." I sniffled, wiped my nose on my sleeve, and took out another joint for Malfoy and having a toke of my own.

"I just stuffed things up big time," I sniffled again.

"Well I have lunch to waste and no one to talk too."

"Why are you being so nice?"

"I have no real friends to talk to it would be nice to have someone who registers as a human being to talk to that wont talk about Voldermort and seeing as i am no longer bound by him and you looked pretty lonely yourself so why not? What's up what have you stuffed up?"

"If i told you you'd only laugh."

"I promise you i won't."

"Yeah right Malfoy the whole school would know by the end of lunch and everyone would just laugh at me again." I got up and stormed back into the castle.

When I arrived at the great hall, most people had already had lunch and was milling around the school somewhere. I sat myself down and made myself a bacon and cheese sandwich. A red headed mass of muscles plonked himself down next to me and stole my sandwich straight from my hand before i could even take a bite of it.

"Yum! My favorite! Thanks Hermione!" Ron smiled cheekily at me. I made myself another sandwich with bacon and mushrooms and ate it hungrily my munchies taking hold of me. After demolishing one, I finished another two and one more just for the hell of it.

"Blimey Hermione! Where do you put it all? You're so tiny and yet you eat so much!" Ron asked open mouthed in awe of my eating efforts.

"Munchies..." I started with my mouth full, "Ron shut it you look like your about ready to give some poor guy head!" As I said this, he continued to go redder than his hair and almost the color of cooked crispy bacon. "Ron are you hiding something from me?" I smirked.

"Hermione, I'm gay..." Ron barely muttered trying to make sure i was the only one who heard unfortunately for him my reaction was anything but quiet.

"YOU'RE WHAT? WHAT ABOUT YOUR POOR GIRLFRIEND DOES SHE KNOW?"

"Shhh," he hushed me, "I'm gay Hermione with Neville he has been my "girlfriend" i found out just before the end of last year."

"WHAT? NEVILLE!" a dark head popped up straight after my outburst as Ron clamped his hand over my mouth.

"Talking about you not too you okay?" Ron called over to him realizing his iron grip on my mouth Neville's head disappeared where it came from earlier.

"Ron can we talk in private please?" I asked quietly his face falling as i said so, 'I'm fine with you and Neville Ron it's about Harry." His face fell even more.

"Hermione I already know about this morning... Why didn't you tell me you were diggin' Harry? I would have done anything to help if i didn't want him all to myself." he giggled but his face quickly became serious again. "He has also told like everyone in our year before the end of lunch everyone will know...I'm so sorry Hermione." I felt anger rising inside of me like a hot volcano ready to split my seams and pour hot lava own some kind of surface not caring what surface it was or what i burned in my pathway. Not only i was i not good enough for the famous golden boy Harry Potter but also the superstar in his own right had to be a damn diva and tell everyone else that I had made a move and had been rejected. Everyone had to know i wasn't good enough; it wasn't enough to hurt me he had to rub it in.

In my shock i had left the great hall Ron calling after me but to scared to follow and when i came to I was standing before Mona Lisa clenching and unclenching my fists into and out of balls of extreme rage that my insides were finding more than difficult to contain.

"Hey Mona."

"Oh hey Hermione."

"How have you been?"

"Not bad for an ancient piece of art. What's eating you if you don't mind me asking? Its not the Harry thing is it?"

"YOU know?"

"Hunny I'm the first to hear anything really, nearly headless nick keeps me filled in on all the goss."

"Humph, Boys nothing but trouble."

"You don't have to tell me hunny I had to put up with Da Vinci! Like i always say though hell hath no fury like a witch scorned," the famous painting giggled.

"Hmm that sounds like some good revenge," I laughed as she whispered a little spell in my ear, "Usagi-Chan." She opened up and i went to my room where i rolled some more joints as my supply was running low and i then left for my next class defense against the dark arts.

When I got there, i found Harry surrounded by an entourage of his fans and as they all saw me coming a group of tarted up; skanky, airheads giggled and Mona's advice sprang into my mind like fire in the Australian outback.

"Hell hath no fury like a witch scorned; Hell hath no fury like a witch scorned." Harry pushed his way to the front and wrapped his arms around me.

"Hermione! Baby! I'm so sorry!" but before he could utter another heartless word I pushed him into his rent-a-crowd and drew my wand.

"Hell Hath no fury like a witch scorned Potter!" I yelled cursing him and he glowed the color of a man about to vomit and then returned to normal.

"What did you just do to me?" Harry asked bewildered

"Just what you'd call a Pinocchio spell, with a little twist but you can figure out what happens when you lie all by yourself, I'm sure it wont take long," I beamed at him. I looked at the stunned mullets around me but i noticed from the corner of my eye a blonde figure smirking at the memory he had of me casting the same spell on him. His blue eyes twinkled mischievously but I felt lost. I had just jinxed any chance with Harry away at the moment.

As tradition went, we had a new defense against the dark arts teacher and his name was Professor Meat Pie. Apparently, he had been a very famous Auror from down under helping the magical and muggle community against the death eaters in Australia he had a very strong accent and said "Mate" a lot, and he always insisted we said "G'day," to him, which wasn't as easy as it sounds with our thick accents. He was very toned with a shining tan, short dark brown hair and moss green eyes that always twinkled with mischief and mystery. He was a prankster and loved telling jokes appropriate or not and even more than, jokes he liked a good what he called a "yarn" what ever that meant. He also enjoyed complaining about your weather. I would learn a lot from and about this professor over the year to help me in the real world but all the knowledge he passed to me would take too long to write so i wont. Meat pie was really his last name but i never learned his first. He must have copped a lot of shit growing up in Australia with his last name as Aussies are famous for their meat pies, sunny weather, beautiful beaches, strange lingo and relaxed attitude not to mention the need to provoke. Everyone here loved him as he was so friendly and polite it really made me want to visit Australia sometime.

He spent the lesson giving us theory on trolls and decided we would start all our practical work next week.

"Good job Granger, I must say that prick really needed someone to do that to him i cant wait till he finds out what it does," Malfoy whispered to me as we wrote our notes and while i checked out the spunky new professor drooling over him having push Harry far from my mind i thought it was about to go on to bigger and better things and i could at least bet that the Professor was bigger as i had accidentally pulled the sheets off Harry one summer morning after honestly forgetting that he had told me the previous night that he had slept naked.

"Only a matter of time Malfoy only a matter of time."

Today we studies all the strong and weak points of trolls and how to get them every time i was fascinated as i was almost killed by one in first year and "Sheer dumb luck" had saved my ass. I suddenly felt very lonely again all thoughts of revenge gone from my mind.

After school was finished, again Harry pulled me into an empty classroom.

"What did you do to me?" He snapped impatiently.

"Potter, I cast a truth spell you see... oh Nah I wont spoil the fun," I tried to wave him off his snapping had made me once again impatient with him and my temper was getting the best of any common sense i thought i had.

"Hermione...I...I... I love you." a small giggle burst from my mouth before i could stop myself. Normally this is what i want to hear but the small dick growing on his forehead made it hard not to laugh at him.

"You shouldn't lie i can see it in your face." He ran to the nearest mirror he could find and yelled ferociously.

"HOW DO I MAKE IT GO AWAY?" he begged

"Tell the truth," I said simply

"Hermione I don't really love you..."

"I know potter." he cringed at my frankness

"Why are you doing this Hermione?"

"Because not only did you toy with my feelings, lead me on and then crush me, YOU TOLD EVERYONE ABOUT IT!"

"I'm sorry," was all he replied meekly but i could tell he was lying from the extension growing on his forehead. I couldn't help giggling again.

"Yeah right whatever..." i paused for effect, "Dickhead!"

"I never led you on Hermione," it smacked him between the eyes, " i never toyed with you and never meant to hurt you," it was now hanging just under his nose, "and i never told anyone i swear!" It was now so long he could fit it in his mouth. Knowing i knew he was lying he changed tactics. "You know what Hermione i did toy with you, lead you on, hurt your feeling and tell everyone that i had done so. But you wanna know why Hermione? you have always been a know it all bitch who always had to be right and have her way and I'm sick of it your nothing but an up-tight frigid bitch and no one with a brain would want someone as plain and annoying as you!" he reprimanded me shocking me to my core.

"And the truth will set you free," i whispered hoarsely as he glowed again a sickening green and returned to normal his extension completely disappearing. I turned and I too disappeared closing my heart never wanting it to break like it was breaking right now never wanting to be betrayed again. I ran all the way to my room where my life was about to take some seriously unexpected twists and turns that my entire life would depend upon and in my entire life i would never guessed or believed.


	5. Not a word not a soul

Chapter Five

Not A Word Not A Soul.

I threw myself onto the couch in our common room and cried as if i had never cried before. Everything he had just said was true, i had known it but it had never hurt like this before. When i finally looked up a bong and a lighter was reaching towards me by a pair of soft and pale gentle hands. Passed this i could see a worried Malfoy staring at me and for some reason i did not feel uncomfortable. I took the bong and the lighter in silence and smoked about five or six cones before finally setting them down. I placed my face into the pillow and screamed with all my might.

"Settle pettle," Malfoy patted my shoulder and i swatted at his hand making him laugh which in turned made me laugh and we just sat there a good ten minutes laughing at ourselves. We wiped the tears of laughter from our eyes.

'What do you want Malfoy?" I sighed still irritated at having my privacy invaded though i was bawling my eyes out on our common room sofa. My heart still cold as ice as was my voice, "come to rub it in?"

"To see what's wrong, i can't have my roomie having a tantie on me now can i? i have had to live with Drama queens for almost six years i don't want to live with one this year."

"Sod off."

"No I want to know what's wrong!"

"Why don't you ask the groupies they all know like just about everyone else in the school? Even better yet you can ask Pansy Parkinson while you fuck her brains out!" At this comment, he went slightly green.

"Actually I'm..." he stopped himself before he could say anything further, "look tell me what's wrong and I'll tell you something about me."

"You're a virgin aren't you?"

"You sure like to hit the nail on the head don't you? Anyway so are you!" it was my turn to go red at this.

"Yes Malfoy if you must know I am... I just want to wait for "the one" you know."

"And what if "the one" doesn't want you?" i stopped myself from saying anything when he said this he knew the bastard he knew he was just trying to make it harder for me. "So you got a big crush on Potter and he turned you down big deal!"

"It's a big deal to me Malfoy!"

"I heard what he said after Defense against the Dark arts class Granger." Again, I was stunned.

"So why did you ask?"

"Cause i wanted you to let your damned pride go and tell me dammnit!"

"It's not like you care Malfoy!"

"Granger I have to live with you for a damn year, unfortunately as much as you don't and i don't want me too I have to care okay its my duty!"

"Why?"

"Because it disrupts my day to day life okay?"

"Fuck off Malfoy i knew you only cared about yourself," i thundered past him to my room and charmed it to lock and soundproof itself. I pulled out my personal guitar and a bottle of Jim beam i had snuck in. I opened the bottle and drank a quarter of it then put it down to play guitar my favorite song Oh love by Jase E

_How can I love you and still let you go, go go go,_

_How can i need you and not tell you so._

_How can I kiss you but still I want to cry, cry cry cry,_

_How can i hold you, when i know i have to say good-bye?_

_Oh love oh love how can it feel so good it hurts, hurts so bad,_

_Oh, love oh love how can it make you happy only to make you sad._

_Oh love how it can be so hard but still be so plain,_

_Oh, love oh love how is it we're all player in this game of love._

_Oh love Oh love Oh love Oh love._

_How can i feel so confused, when everything's so clear?_

_How can I push you away when i only want you here?_

_How can i remember when all i want is to forget?_

_How can i be so hopeful but still so full of regret._

_Oh love oh love how can it feel so good it hurts, hurts so bad,_

_Oh, love oh love how can it make you happy only to make you sad._

_Oh love how can it be so hard but still be so plain,_

_Oh, love oh love how is it we're all player in this game of love._

_Oh love Oh love Oh love Oh love._

_Oh love Oh love Oh love yeah yeah yeah Oh love._

I reopened my bottle of Jim beam and drank another quarter so that only half the bottle remained i stumbled around drunkenly for a few moments and barely had time to put it down before i collapsed onto the mattress and falling into a drunken sleep.

I awoke around 3 am the next morning to a throbbing headache and a very upset stomach feeling very nauseas and recognizing a hangover. I lit a joint to ease the pain and took a quick swig then decided to head to the kitchen for a super greasy midnight snack of Bacon and garlic feta mushrooms with toast. I loved magic, now in my seventh year i have learned to cook and clean with just a flick of the wand and quick incantations. I consumed my breakfast feeling a little better after eating something and a coffee. I went into the rose garden to have a quick cigarette when Malfoy came out.

"Can I have one?"

"Malfoy, I thought you were rich why are you always bumming off me?" to this he laughed.

"My father owns everything and he is in prison I don't get a sickle until he is physically dead. He is pretty much dead anyway." i passed him a cigarette and a light and for a while we sat there in the cool breeze just silence, a comfortable silence. Malfoy was the first to break this silence.

"I have a deal for you. I have a solution to your problem but..."

"There's always a but," i rolled my eyes.

"But i want you to be my partner in my classes..." again there was only silence an uncomfortable silence this time," Look I'll meet you in the common room for lunch to talk about it okay? Just think about it." then he just got up and left not a word just stood up and walked to his room.

"What do i want help from a ferret like you anyway?" i muttered to myself. Then again, it was a partner in all my classes and seeing as Harry was no longer talking to me. As to the solution to my problem, well i guess i could hear him out it'll be fun hearing Malfoy tell me what he thought was wrong with me, and if he had a plan to fix it if it sounded all right I'd run for it see if it worked.

I sat beside him in Transfiguration first, we were now learning to apparate properly, and it was pretty some people would concentrate real hard and still go nowhere. Of course, apparation i had read about in fourth grade and it was so very easy for me that i really didn't have much to do for the lesson but help the ones i had been laughing at.

Next, we had potions. As it was theory Malfoy and I had said barely minimal except "Next page," or, "Pass the wormwood." which was me or

"Stir this please," or, "What was that?" which was mainly Malfoy. We were in practical so we had to ask minimal favors we didn't speak abut anything personal it was a completely professional.

Last of all we had ancient runes which was boring as all hell but a good thing to learn most students took it to sleep in class thanking whoever made quick notes quills and of course decent ones that didn't lie like Rita Skeeters. I mainly did my homework in this class. I was so lucky that my hangover was gone when i had woken up, it was like a blessing. But now it was hitting me again and wanted to sleep so i decided to actually for once postpone my homework and sleep it off a bit more.

"Ron give me five more minutes," I grumbled. Malfoy couldn't help but smirk at this. He nudged me with his elbow again. "Ron go kiss Neville would Ya?" i started to settle again, when i was rudely awakened by very loud and annoying laughter. I'll tell you i was not pleased. I pulled my hand back and slapped the culprit who for a second sat there shocked only to burst out in laughter till his face went bright red.

"Shut up!" i whispered sharply.

"Ohhh I'm sorry that was priceless," he wiped a tear from his eye.

"You have to promise me you won't tell a soul!" i urged. Again, he sat there silent for a second and burst into to laughter once more. Once he had composed his face he could not stay serious because the look on my face was far more priceless than the joke, pleading but serious, completely serious. Eventually after about fifteen minutes of this, I walked off to our dorm peeved that he wasn't serious but frightened he would blurt Ron's secret. Another ten minutes later Malfoy finally arrived. By this time, I had cooked a Thai red chicken coconut curry and was now packing myself a bong. I smoked this and passed some to Malfoy as well.

"Not a word not a soul," I said to him. He tried not to laugh so hard as he nodded his head and kept the secret. We dished up our lunch and ate it in complete peace and quiet. Then i remembered why we were her.

"I believe you had a solution to my problem i just want to clarify what problem you're talking about?" I inquired.

"Ahh yes well let me first say that that was fantastic Red curry."

'Thanks and Second of all?" again i was impatient.

"Ok ok patience is a virtue you know?

"Yeah yeah whatever," I shrugged off my own advice.

"Well how do you feel about Harry?" I felt a bit stunned by this and immediately i was on the defensive.

"What kind of business is that of yours?"

"Well that obviously means you do."

"Shut up you ferret! I'm not here to be laughed at!"

"Tell me to shut up just hear me out and answer the question okay?"

"Fine yes i do okay i still like him after everything he did to me!"

"Well what if i said i could transform you into a princess that any man would want and you would have guys at your beck and call and if you choose Harry then you choose Harry."

"And what do you want in return for it Malfoy?"

"Call me Draco."

"Is that it?"

"No."

"Okay what do you want Draco." boy that felt weird actually calling him by his first name without his last.

"Someone to talk to, to tell how i feel."

"Why me?"

"What is this twenty questions?"

"Yes. Why me? And that doesn't count as two questions asking the same thing. And I'm up to six."

"Cause your trustworthy,"

"You don't know that."

"I know you know about my sister." this shocked me

"How do you know? Seven."

"I overheard the old bat telling you."

"Firstly you were listening and second she maybe an old bat but so is Snape!"

"Hermione," He used my first name. You never told anyone with all the opportunity you had and you have been somewhat civil in your own strange way to me and your the only REAL HUMAN BEING in Hogwarts! Oh and tell Fred and George those extendable ears are amazing!"

"I will," I replied remembering to reprimand the boys for selling Draco the extendable ears," So let me get this straight Draco, you will help me win Harry's heart if I talk to you about stuff...? Eight. Am i sure, i want to do this? Nine. And why should I? Ten. How do i know you wont use this against me? Eleven."

"Granger... Hermione if you don't believe me I'll make an unbreakable vow."

"You'd do that?"

"Will you trust me?"

"Can I trust you? Unlucky thirteen."

"Only if you let me."

"Why should I? Fourteen."

"Why do you keep asking that?"

"Because I don't know why i should."

"Granger because if i use it against you, I'll tell you things you can easily use against me."

"Shake on it?" Fifteen" I reached out my hand still somewhat skeptical. He took my hand and shook it receiving a small electric shock from the buzzer o my hand as a practical joke.

"Now it's binding."

"Great, how did you get it to do that?" he shook his hand and stared at mine evilly

"Muggle thing"

"Oh. I couldn't back out now i had just done a deal with the devil. A deal with the devil for a piece of his soul. I was playing with fire now and i just had to hope that i didn't get burnt like you would with two out of control poi's wrapping itself around your neck.

"Friends?" he asked meekly.

"Don't push it okay? Sixteen."

"Okay."

"Do you want another bong? Seventeen. Can you wash the dishes? Eighteen.

"Sure and do i have to?" he laughed.

"Yes."

"Why?

"Why ask why? Nineteen. I cooked lunch you wash dishes and how long till class starts there twenty."

"Okay okay I'll do the dishes and ten minutes. So Charms next huh you had time to do your homework anyway."


	6. Wow, That's Incredibly Tacky Malfoy

Chapter Six.

Wow, That's Incredibly Tacky Malfoy.

A pile of booked wobbled dangerously on my head.

"What exactly is this achieving? I'd probably get more knowledge reading these than balancing them on top of my head you know?"

"Ahh that's where you're wrong you see you are learning balance and good posture if you can walk..."

"Like i have a pole up my ass!"  
"Well each to their own," he smiled, "with grace and poise you will look like a lady dress elegant and classy but not too old fashion. Now lift your head up a little don't watch the ground. Look confident, straighten your shoulders like this," he moved my shoulders a little," and tuck in your bum." I followed his instructions and the books wobbling ceased. I took another cautious step and before long, i was walking around the room.

"Well done," I took another lap, "ok now you're showing off." he scowled jokingly. It was now February 10th and the Valentines ball was looming ever closer. I had now mastered poise and grace with a few exceptions i had also learnt a lot about skin tone, care, make up and fashion. My hair now thanks to many hours of straightening and conditioning and treating was no longer a giant ball of frizz but long brown locks that i almost always had in French braids He had confided in me that his sister had taught him all he had known and used him as a model when their father was away for long periods of time and they were left to themselves.

People had gotten used to Hermione and Draco chatting civilly between each other in the hallways both sides believed it was because they were heads they were on best behavior and for house unity had to be civil and both bought it as they refrained their times spent laughing and joking and talking to private unless it was about business which they discussed in public and private.

"Hermione?" Draco asked patiently.

"Yes Draco," I replied.

"Would you like to attend the ball with me?

"I have men at my feet nowadays why you? Don't worry i ask every guy the same question..."

"Because if it wasn't for me those men wouldn't be at your feet. I want to rub it in just a little besides it will really piss off Harry."

"It would cause quite a stir wouldn't it?

"At least you wont be dateless?"

"Okay okay when you put it like that. Yes I'll be your date."

"Sorry? I need turn up my hearing aid what was that?"

"YES I'LL BE YOUR DATE,"I yelled this time.

"Do you know what you're wearing? He smiled.

"Not really but I'm hoping something red."

"Good choice of color."

"So anyway enlighten me you've never told me why you actually love potter."

"Well it's kind of hard to explain. I mean he's hurt me but...It's hard to explain love. It started one summer i think it was at the end of fifth year. Well i don't like flying very much and Harry one night took me out and insisted. It took ages for Harry to convince me to open my eyes though. But i remember he whispered in my ear. I have you I'll keep you safe you can trust me and he did. I have never seen anything like it before and never have i felt like that either. It was just Harry, me and the sea of lights. Only gravity, the different colored lights and the moon could have told us if we were flying upside down or not..."

"Sounds hopelessly romantic if you ask me."

"How about you Draco have you met the love of your life yet."

"No," he sighed, "i have not yet been blessed with the joys of love and romance yet." He lit a joint," I want to find the one the right one. A woman who takes my breath away just by her breathing herself."

"That is so tacky Malfoy."

"Hey you haven't lost it yet either at least you found the one you want to give it away too."

"Love always hurts you though."

"Not real love."

"Harry hurt me."

"Maybe he's not the one."

"And if he is."

"Then you are one unlucky lady."

"Indeed I am," i light another joint smoking it in the silence to follow. Draco was now my best friend and i confided everything in him as he did the same with me and after a serious talk, we would always seem to sit in silence and smoke pot.

"I'm really glad i have you to talk to Hermione, i don't know where I'd be without you...I Ahh bought you a present."

'Thank you, you didn't have to," i was a bit stunned that he had gotten me a present.

"No really i wanted to here," he passed me a little black velvet box in which was a simple black and red pair of chandelier earrings made with silver, ruby and onyx.

"Where did you get these?" I asked curious at how much they must be worth.

"They were my sisters." I felt a bit sick taking these, as they were an item belonging to someone he loves the most. "I insist. You're my best friend and before you she was my best friend it is only right she'd want you to have them."

"You're so sweet Draco!"

"And Sexy?" he joked.

"And sexy," i laughed.

"Ohhh why thank you," he curtsied when he was finished we lit another joint.

"Munchies?" he smiled at me. I nodded and proceed to make some pizza.

"Mmm Italian."

"You like"

"Oh I always like your cooking Hermione."

"Can you cook?"

"No not really... I've always had elves or you to do that."

"I can teach you it's easy."

"If you insist but i swear it's gunna get messy!" he mumbled his mouth full of pizza.

"Don't talk with your mouthful and to think you're teaching me etiquette."

"Shut up you." i poked my tongue at him, "So are you getting your dress this Saturday at hogsmede?"

"Yeah it wont be too fancy can barely afford it."

"I'll pay all your expenses don't worry about it and we can go shopping at hogsmede together wont that be fun?"

"Are you sure?"

"It would be my pleasure. I don't wanna see it though you pick it out and put it on hold and I'll pay for it for you. This will be so fun we get to go shopping!" i laughed at him and he hugged me. I think that for the first time Draco Malfoy, my sworn enemy for six years was hugging me and taking me shopping that was just too tacky.


	7. The Hogsmede Escapade

Chapter Seven.

The Hogsmede Escapade.

Saturday the 14th of February had finally arrived and today would be our Hogsmede trip to shop for the last minute requirements for the ball that only 6th and 7th years were allowed to attend. I hadn't even picked a dress yet and I longed to Flourish and Botts. Draco being the date for the special day did everything to curb me as far as possible away from my beloved hide away. We finally stumbled across a lovely little store that wasn't as busy as the others called Madam Octa. Inside was a ginger Haired man with a scar running down his left cheek wearing a lovely red coat over a lovely blue and intricately patterned alike to the cloak, blue suit.

"Hello Miss may I help you?" He smiled warmly without bearing his teeth.

"Yes thank you sir I need a red ball gown," I replied politely.

"Come right this way," he walked me to a line of hideously tacky dresses and i cringed at the thought of wearing the large over bearing dresses until a spotted something amazing.

"May I try this one on?" I asked.

"Why Miss that dress changes shape to fit whoever is wearing it. Like a magic version of lycra."

"Oh i have to see if it suits me... are all these dresses the same sir?"

"Oh no, unfortunately. Our tailor usually works by order and the ones we sell in the shop are merely displays. they are hardly ever bought but you see we hide the beauties amongst them and ones that have a good eye for such things spot them out on occasion and those who don't," he smiled playfully still never bearing his teeth," well it is funny to see them try it on, some even take dresses that are hideous," he continued as i changed into the dress. As he said, it was a beautiful fit I stared at myself in the mirror amazed at the reflection in front of me. I had changed dramatically with the help of Malfoy and i no longer looked frumpy and untidy. My hair shone and my complexion glowed. I was surprised as i saw the girl in front of me had become a lady, a woman.

"May I put this on hold please? I've decided to take it," i inquired.

"Certainly Miss but you do understand this is a very expensive dress it costs almost..." He started.

"Please i don't want to know the price thank you a boy by the name of Malfoy will be picking it up."

"Malfoy? Master Draco Malfoy?" He quizzed me.

"Yes actually do you know him?" i answered.

"Why yes i have been serving the Malfoy since before the only Malfoy child was born but all along they thought their first would be a girl they bought all these clothes for a baby girl about the time he would have been conceived for a little girl." I felt sick that he didn't know that those clothes were for a real baby girl, "well anyway don't worry about him picking it up tell him i will put it on the Malfoy tab and you can take it now."

"Why thank you Mr...?"

"Crespley, Larten Crespley." He placed the dress into an elegant box and tied it with a ribbon then placed into a bag for me to carry and I left the store never knowing the price of the dress and never feeling guilty about it.

I walked leisurely to the three broomsticks where Draco and I had designated to meet for lunch even though i was a bit later than our designated meeting time I didn't bother to walk in a hurry. I just took my time. When I walked in the first thing i really saw amongst the mixed marijuana and cigarette smoke was Harry's scowling face. Ignoring him, i turned to the smiling face of Draco Malfoy who was staring into space sipping a butterbeer and smoking a joint. He turned for a second to notice me standing in the doorway and gave me a dazzling smile until i was shoved from behind and landed clumsily on my knees holding myself up with my hands. I picked up my bag from my side and then picked myself up giving the boorish woman who looked like she belonged in a mine or as a woodcutter or some kind of labor position a dirty look to which she just shrugged her shoulders too. I gave Draco a weak embarrassed smile and made my way to our table to fetch myself a seat. Draco passed me a joint.

"Fantastic entrance hunny you sure know how to be the center of attention," He laughed at me.

"Shut up you," i grumbled for a moment then giving up on my unhappiness gave him a friendly smile.

"What's in the bag could you afford the dress after all which is surprising seeing as i took you to the most expensive shop in the Wizarding community."

"No actually he put it on your tab and you knew that all the clothes in there were terrible why did you take me there?"

"well obviously they weren't all terrible seeing as you brought something and know it was from there i can see the tag on the bag and i know you can find some rare gems in there which i hope you did." I punched him playfully in the arm to which he mad a mockery of an attempt at playing hurt making me laugh once more almost gagging on the smoke i had just inhaled. Obviously not, content with my oblivious display of happiness Harry sooked his way over to our table.

"Granger..."  
"Potter..." we addressed each other on a last name basis.

"Been seeing a lot of Malfoy here seem to be getting pretty cozy what did he forget you were a mudblood?"

"Harry, my blood may be dirtier than your but do remember your father was a muggle so you're in no position to talk to dirty blood."

"Jealous Potter?" Malfoy began, "She likes to be in the company of gentlemen who treat her like the lady she is, instead of boys who are forever trying to get into her pants. Root rats that don't care about a girl they know isn't going to put out just because you say so, you abused her friendship potter she doesn't have to consort with the likes of you anymore... If you haven't noticed she is quite the lady and as for her being a mudblood she may not be of wizardry decent but she is far brighter than any other witch i have come upon so please do me a favor and rid me and this lovely woman of your company. Now Hermione would you like a butterbeer and some lunch before we set off?" After such a reprimanding Harry slinked off into the background with his broken pride.

"Sure I'd love a butterbeer and some lunch," i pulled out my purse to get some money for him when he stopped me.

"It's on me dear..."

"But i thought you didn't have much money."

"Well it turns out that a new law was passed that anyone who receives the dementors kiss is classified as legally dead. I mean he isn't physically but he will never leave Azkaban so I inherited everything." He looked a bit glum at this last statement he turned for the bar. Seeing me alone Harry decided to have another chance with just me and this time had decided to play nice.

"Hermione, I just wanted to say I'm sorry, i just don't like to see Malfoy with you because i know he's going to hurt you."

"Like you did Harry?" i snapped back quickly, "It's just the skipper effect one day I was playing with Barbie when my best friend picked up her little sister skipper and I never wanted anything so bad in my life. Now Draco is my friend and you have never wanted me around until you saw i was happy elsewhere! Malfoy has been a better friend these past few months than you have in an entire seven years I have been here now fuck off Potter before I hex you with something more powerful than that old Pinocchio spell i got you with last time." I sneered him a sneer that would have made Draco proud if it had seen it, which i didn't know he had. Harry beaten once again gave up and sulked back to his table of groupies who all had turns at saying nasty things about me that they thought i hadn't heard. Draco came back with two butterbeers and a meal of rissoles, salad, smiles, zucchini, capsicum and grilled tomatoes.

"What did he want?" he asked picking up the salt and applying it to his food.

"To apologies, played hard to get like you told me too though," I smiled. He passed me my butterbeer and for a brief second our hands brushed against each other's. We looked at each other for a second and at he exact same time, we looked away blushing deeply but trying very hard to hide it. We both ate and drank in silence until our stomachs were full with butterbeer and delicious food. As we left, Draco stood behind me and pulled my chair out helping me stand. He pecked my cheek as I stood up and then slipped his hand into mine giving me a wink as he did so his back to Harry. The look on Harry's face was so priceless that I didn't see the hint of a smile on Draco's or notice how fast his heart was beating beside me.

As we got outside, I removed my hand from his and linked my arm into his instead.

"Did you see his face? That was totally puff!" I hooted using the lame new slang word for cool. I didn't notice in my joy Draco's face drop sadly. He had covered it in almost an instant.

"Yeah, he was so jealous, he wants you bad!" he joined in. I practically skipped to a nearby shoe shop to look for shoes, Draco all the while saying that I had, had too much pot, sugar and butterbeer for this to be good. In return, I smacked him in the arm and told him it was good for me and to this he only raised and eyebrow and smirked immaturely as his dirty mind did tricks, I just punched him in the arm again.

In the shoe store, I found a pair of shoes that I wanted quite quickly. Finally, i was able to go to flourish and Botts, read, and buy some new books. I found a nice book decorated beautifully with a boy with dark brown hair and green eyes staring longingly at a girl with blonde hair and brown eyes who in turn who staring at a boy with black hair and blue eyes. It said on the first page that it was based on a true muggle story but that the names had been changed to keep the identities of the people a secret.

"What color is your dress?" asked Draco bored out of his brains.

"Red, gold, silver, blue and black," i replied my nose in yet another book which i added to the pile Malfoy was carrying that almost reached his chin which was saying something as he was holding down around his waist.

"Well I uhhh have a few errands to run."

"Okay, okay," i answered to this and added one more book to the pile and we made our way to the counter where i paid for my purchase. I asked them to send all these to my room in Hogwarts as i had other things to do and i couldn't carry them around all day to which they obliged.

"So I'll meet you in the rose garden shall we say seven?" Draco inquired.

"Sounds good, see ya there Draco," i replied, waving him off as i made my way in the opposite direction.

I made my way through the hustle and bustle of sixth and seventh years on their hogsmede expedition for last minute Valentines things and first to fifth years just enjoying the day in the shopping city of Hogwarts and the towns folk who lived in the area doing their daily grind to Fred and George's joke shop. Inside was just as busy as outside as students and other prankster wizards looked around at new and old gadgets on display and i could have sworn i saw a swish of purple robes with stars and moons over them disappear behind another row of pranks and potions. I smiled as i picked up some of the new gadgets on display.

"Green teeth toothpaste?" i laughed, "Strawberry skin sunscreen? Blue in the face in a bottle? Edible earplugs? Now that's just gross?" I felt a tap on each of my shoulders and jumped surprise at the interruption of my browsing only to find the owners of the property standing behind me.

"Ahh but we have something special for you Hermione our sweet little sister," they grinned from ear to ear as they pulled out a glass bottle.

"A bottle of Jim? I had you boys buy me a year's supply before I went to Hogwarts why would I need another.." Fred or was it George put a finger to my lips and shushed me.

"It's a never ending bottle of Jim Beam Hermione he figured out how to do it and we wanted you to have the first one. We know its your favorite so its a present," George or was it Fred finished for the other.

"Thanks boys," i hugged them.

"You're welcome," they beamed at me in unison. I turned and left the joke shop after this not actually bothering to buy anything. I made for the nearest candy store and bought a pigs supply of sweets. I ended up leaving with two packets of Tim tams, a large in of Milo, ten milkos, five redskins, four strawberry freddo's, seven king size snickers, three large bags of peanut M&M's, three chocolate frogs, two bags of berties every flavor beans and just for good measure a big bag full of Chico babies, fake teeth, milk bottles, sour gummy worms, gummy bears and sour coca cola bottles all sent to your dorm. I was terribly happy that the school provided soft drink for us at our disposal.

Finally, I made my way back to our dorm, took out my dress, and hung it up carefully on the back of my door stunned and amazed at its beauty and glamour. I took a bath with strawberry and apple bubbles and washed my hair with the sun silk summer care shampoo and condition making my hair smell of coconuts making me feel very tropical. I washed my skin with Johnson baby soap and toned it with Neutrogena clear pore toner finally applying dove essential nutrients moisturizing lotion. I sprayed my hair with strawberry detangler. I had exfoliated my skin as Malfoy had told me in small circles working from the top to the bottom not forgetting to shave. I applied fake tan to my sexy smooth skin making me look even more elegant. I went to wrap my towel, which was on the back of the door around me once the fake tan had a chance to dry when I heard the door click and open not believing in my stupidity I had not locked it. Unable to get to the towel i was exposed and tried to cover freshly shaved self with my hands only barely succeeding but unfortunately leaving my humble firma and perky breasts that were not big nor small exposed. For a while, Draco just stood there open mouthed unable to remember what he was going to say before he was greeted with this uncomfortable sight. For this embarrassing period time seemed to move so slowly.

"I'M NAKED!" I cried out finally making him snap out of it.

"Sorry I didn't think you were in here i was just going to borrow some freeze gel, i really should have knocked I'm so sorry, I'll Ahh go now..." he blundered then shut the door behind him. I pulled my towel around myself finally, picked up my freeze gel, walked over to his bathroom, and opened the door only to find Draco in the same situation I was in earlier.

"Here's the freeze gel, and boy you get undressed fast," i said before i could stop myself. With this, i also turned around and left shutting the door behind me before he could say a word. I applied my concealer under my eyes and on any problem spots of redness and blemish on my face making sure i got it all the way to my eyelids, I then applied my foundation working downwards making sure i didn't get it in my eyebrows, that it also covered all the way to my eye lids and also put it over my lips. I blended it down onto my neck and the edge of my hairline but not in my hair and over my ears using the clean side of the latex sponge i was using to apply it with. I applied my translucent powder with a pat and roll technique then brushed it off with a powder brush. I then applied the powder with the pat and roll effect under my eyes making sure i also got it right to the edge of my eyelids. I applied a highlighter eye shadow first going right up to under my eyebrows in an extremely light shade then a darker shade over just the eyelid. Then i applied the first real brown shade in a line from the outside corner of my eye on each side down and in till it reached the edge of my eyelid. I used a cotton tip to run a small line only half of my eyelid across the top just under the bone in my eye. I applied the darkest shade just a little inside the first shade and then used a clean cotton tip to blend it up and out erasing all the hard lines that had been there before. I then applied my eyeliner to the bottom of my eyes and used liquid eyeliner thin in the center of my eyes making it fatter towards the middle and thinning it out again just a little to the outside. After this i applied my mascara and while this was drying my blush starting from the inside of my cheek in line with the bottom of my ear up in circle movements to the top of my ear. I brushed my teeth before adding the final touches of gloss with a hint of reddish lipstick making my lips look like plump strawberries. I tied my hair into a bun with two small pieces of fringe hanging down which i wrapped around my finger and sprayed with freeze spray to make it hold. I was almost ready. Tonight Harry would finally notice me I looked like a goddess. Simply irresistible. I sprayed on my perfume Revlon's pink happiness. Little did i know that Harry wouldn't be the only one to notice me tonight.


	8. Every Me and Every you

Chapter Eight.

Every Me and Every you

At seven, I made my way to the rose garden the diamantes on the top of my dress gleaming in the moonlight. When Draco finally noticed i was there his face looked almost pained.

"Hermione, Hermione, I'm so proud of you, you found a gem in that store a real gem you look like an angel."

"Why thank-you," I curtsied the blue cotton ribbon on the bottom of my dress shimmering alike t the silver cotton ribbon around my waist tied at the back in a little bow beneath the drop with crisscrossed straps covered in diamantes as the rest of the top half, like the gold cotton ribbon around my neck and running down the sides cutting a line into the black cotton ribbon at the end of my triangular sleeves. The bottom was just a free flowing red velvet skirt the blue cotton ribbon attached at the very bottom hem the dress.

Draco looked dashing in a formal black suit with a shirt underneath with all the colors of my dress swirled around on it Disney characters running around and chasing each other or simply just doing what they liked. In complete silence, he handed me a large black velvet box, which contained a matching necklace and bracelet to my earrings and also a ruby ring for my hand.

"You look amazing and I am so proud of you that I want you to have these no excuses just take them. My sister would have wanted me to give them to you." He put them on for me and then picked a red rose from the garden and handed it to me, I did the same for him and stuck it in his shirt pocket whilst i decided to carry mine.

"Shall we go Valentine?" He asked bowing low, I giggled and curtsied before taking his arm. "You really look like a goddess Hermione," he whispered in my ear.

"Thank you Draco, i could never have done it without you." I beamed at him. In silence, we walked to the ball and as we arrived, we had to wait twp minutes before we could enter.

"Introducing Head Boy Draco Malfoy and Head girl Hermione Granger." As head boy and head girl we were the only two to have, our names called respectively as we entered with our partner. No one had actually expected us to show up together. Everyone in the hall turned to stare at us like fish in an aquarium except my mouths didn't open every two seconds for air.

"Oh my god," one person started breaking the annoying silence and then the hall was full of gossip and scandal again.

"What are they together or something?" another questioned.

"Aren't they cute they make a gorgeous couple," another cooed.

"Wow she looks amazing. Never even noticed. Lucky Draco i wouldn't mind being able to hit that hot piece of ass whenever I wanted to," said some disgusting pig. But all the voices and gossip and people looking at her didn't matter compared to the sour look of unhappiness on his face. Over waltz, Lavender Brown the school slut and she puckered up her lips and kissed Harry. I almost was about to pick her up and throw her to the other side of the room but before i could take one step i felt a strong hand holding mine and figured two could play at this game. Lavender wore a tacky short dress that was corny as it is Lavender that did nothing to hide her skin and bones body and when she sat down displayed her hidden treasures for all to see.

"May I have this dance Milady?" Draco bowed again to me. Again i giggled a curtsey and let him take me in his arms putting one hand on my waist and holding my hand with the other as i placed my other hand on his shoulder and my head on his chest. Wow his heart was beating fast i thought to myself. A slow song began which i recognized as Kate Derouge's maybe tonight. I listened to Draco's soft and sweet voice as he sung along to it.

_I've been holding on, to a love gone wrong it's true for _

_too long _

_The hurt it left inside made me wanna hide too much _

_than i do _

_I'm not afraid to be alone the truth is I'm all right _

_but something has been missing from my life_

_Maybe tonight maybe I'll fall _

_Maybe he'll crash through my walls_

_Maybe at last love will come back and take me deep into his arms _

_Maybe the heart that comes apart finally mends_

_Maybe tonight I'll finally fall in love again_

_Cried alot of tears, faced alot of fears _

_To get right here_

_Every chapter ends before the right one can begin again,_

_In this story of love_

_Maybe tonight maybe I'll fall _

_Maybe he'll crash through my walls_

_Maybe at last love will come back and take me deep into his arms _

_Maybe the heart that comes apart finally mends_

_Maybe tonight I'll finally fall in love again_

_I'm ready for another chance and right thats enough _

_I know I will survive what ever comes_

_Maybe tonight maybe I'll fall _

_Maybe he'll crash through my walls_

_Maybe at last love will come back and take me deep into his arms _

_Maybe the heart that comes apart finally mends_

_Maybe tonight I'll finally fall in love again_

_Maybe this time i'll find a love that never ends_

_Maybe tonight i'll finally fall in love again_

_Maybe tonight i'll finally fall in love again_

_Maybe tonight i'll finally fall in love again_

_Maybe tonight i'll finally fall in love again_

another slow song that i knew as Avril Lavigne's Fall to pieces started as i snuggled a little closer into the warmth Draco radiated.

_I looked away then I looked back at you,_

_You tried to say the things that you can't undo,_

_If I had my way I'd never get over you,_

_Today's the day I pray that we make it through._

I felt a tap on my shoulder and a slight cough only to see Harry. I turned out of Draco's to face him properly.

_Make it through the fall, Make it through it all._

"What potter?" I asked impatient at the disruption of my peacefulness.

"Hermione? Can I talk to you in private?" His cute face staring at me looking honestly hurt.

"Afraid of public rejection? Anything you have to say you can say here or I won't listen." I was being stubborn something else Draco had told me.

"Please Hermione, I'm sorry,"

_And I don't wanna fall to pieces I just wanna sit and stare at you._

_I don't wanna talk about it _

_And I don't want a conversation I just wanna cry in front of you._

_I don't wanna talk about it_

_'cause I'm in love with you._

"Are you jealous cause you think Draco's getting your goodies?"

"What more can I say but I'm sorry Hermione?"

_You're the only one I'd be with till the end._

_When I come undone you bring me back again._

_Back under the stars, Back into your arms._

"You hurt me Potter!" I snapped, "You hurt me badly, think about it you said and I quote "you know what Hermione i did toy with you, lead you on, hurt your feeling and tell everyone that i had done so. However, you want to know why Hermione? you have always been a know it all bitch who always had to be right and have her way and I'm sick of it your nothing but an up-tight frigid bitch and no one with a brain would want someone as plain and annoying as you" you remember that potter? After you publicly humiliated me? Well look at me Potter look at me!" I began to cause a scene trying to stay calm while i still felt hysterical.

_And I don't wanna fall to pieces I just wanna sit and stare at you._

_I don't wanna talk about it _

_And I don't want a conversation I just wanna cry in front of you._

_I don't wanna talk about it_

_'cause I'm in love with you._

"I'm not what you labelled me anymore and you know it, i am a bigger and better person because i got on with my life and didn't let you destroy me like you wanted to."

_Wanna know who you are, Wanna know where to start,_

_I wanna know what this means._

_Wanna know how you feel, Wanna know what is real._

_I wanna know everything... Everything._

"Hermione, I don't know what to say... I was wrong i shouldn't have said those things to you about you and i should never have hurt you. Please forgive me" He looked like he was about to cry... really cry.

_I don't wanna fall to pieces I just wanna sit and stare at you._

_I don't wanna talk about it _

_And i don't want a conversation I just wanna cry in front of you._

_I don't wanna talk about it._

"You only say that now Potter because I am beautiful and you can't have me! Please excuse me I have nothing further to say and I would like to get a butterbeer." Everyone was stunned. Hermione Granger had just lost her patience with Harry Potter who used to be her biggest crush and best friend.

"And Potter, to think i would fall for a phoney apology like that. You really are a dickhead!"

_And I don't wanna fall to pieces I just wanna sit and stare at you._

_I don't wanna talk about it. _

_And I don't want a conversation I just wanna cry in front of you._

_And I don't wanna talk about it_

_'cause I'm in love with you... _

_I'm in love with you, _

_'cause I'm in love with you._

_I'm in love with you... _

_I'm in love with you._

It had been so hard for me to say that, i watched from the table full of butterbeer and snacks in mortification as he walked back to his prize slut and snogged her.

"Sorry babe, the frigid bitch has cobwebs between her legs and isn't interested I tried." he said as loud as he could... "Let's make that threesome a twosome." Behind her back he hi-fived his friends and I was glad i wasn't her but still i felt jealous and I wanted him more than anything now. I wished I hadn't said the things I said. Ron would hate me, Harry would never speak to me again and he was sleeping with Lavender. I felt sick like the whole room had moved like a dragon had stomped his foot right outside the door but no one but me noticed this change in scenery. I dropped my butterbeer and ran past a bewildered Draco and a stunned crowd all eager from some more gossip. I ran all the way to the rose garden, threw my red rose to the floor, and pummelled it with my fists.

"What did that rose ever do to you?" Malfoy joined me he knelt on the ground and wrapped his arms around me letting me sob into his chest never asking questions not even saying a word just letting me sob until finally the tears subsided.

"Do you feel better?" he handed me a black handkerchief from his pants pocket.

"It should have been me," i felt more tears threaten my eyes with their approach, "I love him not her, she can have any man she wanted, all i ever wanted was him was it too much to ask?"

"If it helps she can never have me," he smiled as i snorted at his comment and lit two joints we leaned against the stone seat at the front of our garden looking into the vast blackness beyond our room i leaned into his chest ad he wrapped his arm around me. "Hermione I have something to tell you," he looked into my big brown eyes eager from him to say what he had to say. For a moment, he felt like he didn't have the courage to go on. He couldn't say what he felt inside him like fire. So he leaned in and he kissed me softly but sweetly on the lips, just a lingering brushing of our lips together that radiated warmth comfort and the soft scent of marijuana on our lips.

"I love you, I have for so long and all i ever wanted was for you to open your eyes and see how i felt about you. All i ever wanted was for you to notice me like you wanted Harry to notice you. I was jealous that you did all this," he waved his hand up and own to indicate he meant my transformation," for him when I have loved you all along, when all I wanted was for you to do this all for me." From the hall, i could hear the sounds of placebo coming to us and I kissed him back. I deepened the kiss and he held me close his tongue fighting mine with supremacy, i pulled at his jacket and he obliging took it off.

_Sucker love is heaven sent._

_You pucker up, our passion's spent._

_My hearts a tart, your body's rent._

_My body's broken, yours is bent._

_Carve your name into my arm._

_Instead of stressed, I lie here charmed._

_Cuz there's nothing else to do,_

_Every me and every you._

I pulled at his tie and had started to unbutton his shirt when he broke off the steamy and intimate kiss.

"Are you sure?" he looked concerned but it was hard to take him seriously, when he looked so sexy with my lip-gloss smeared over his lips. I nodded in reply and he picked me up like a husband picking up his bride to carry her over the threshold of their new home and took me to the plush white rug in front of the fire. He went to his room and got a pillow and blanket stalling to make sure I was not going to back out of this.

_Sucker love, a box I choose._

_No other box I choose to use._

_Another love I would abuse,_

_No circumstances could excuse._

_In the shape of things to come._

_Too much poison come undone._

_Cuz there's nothing else to do,_

_Every me and every you._

_Every me and every you,_

_Every Me...he_

He placed the pillow under my head and the blanket over me and then finally laid down beside me and kissed me feverishly. eventually after much pulling, pushing, and temperament at our inexperience we lay fully naked beside each other.

"What am I supposed to do?" he asked me making me want to laugh if this wasn't such a serious moment. I took his hand and placed it on my breast he pulled me close to him and he ran his fingers over my nipple almost expertly making me feel sensations i had never felt before. I felt lust control my body and I began to want it more. he ran his hand over my trim and fit waist to rest on my firm backside.

_Sucker love is known to swing._

_Prone to cling and waste these things._

_Pucker up for heavens sake._

_There's never been so much at stake._

_I serve my head up on a plate._

_It's only comfort, calling late._

_Cuz there's nothing else to do,_

_Every me and every you._

_Every me and every you,_

_Every Me...he_

He captured my lips once more with his own and it was his turn to take my hand and he pressed flat against his taught and well toned chest and ran it down his stomach to something i had never seen let alone felt. He was almost about to laugh if the situation had not been so serious at the surprised doe eyed look on my face which i knew he found amusing. I ran my hand in his up and down his well-endowed asset and groaned in pleasure finally letting go to let me do the job on my own. I then felt his hands seeking entrance in between my legs to which i obliged opening them slightly. He ran his hand against my clit making me grow wet quickly making my insides turn to jelly and i knew i was almost at climax. He slipped one finger inside me driving me crazy. He pushed me onto my back and climbed on top of him.

"Are you sure?" He asked again. I nodded my head.

"Are you?" I asked teasingly. His only reply to this was to capture my lips once again in his own and slowly he entered me

_Every me and every you,_

_Every Me...he_

_Like the naked leads the blind._

_I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind._

_Sucker love I always find,_

_Someone to bruise and leave behind._

_All alone in space and time._

_There's nothing here but what here's mine._

_Something borrowed, something blue._

_Every me and every you._

_Every me and every you,_

_Every Me...he_

Pain struck me in bare moments only to be replaced by pleasure moments later. His body collided with mine as we bucked at each other trying to find a rhythm together. He held and sucked my breasts as he entered me. He rubbed his body against mine bringing me to my climax twice before i finally felt limp like a rag doll. We continued this our bodies sweat mingling together in front of the fire running into my bellybutton filling it with sweat like he will filling me with him. Again, the feeling of climax hit me as i felt something hot surge through my insides and Draco finally collapsed on top of me after kissing my forehead.

"I love you Hermione Granger," he told me looking into my eyes his forehead resting against mine. Suddenly this felt wrong. I had done this for the wrong reasons and I had never felt the same for him. I felt guilt heavy guilt.

_Every me and every you,_

_Every Me...he _

_Every me and every you,_

_Every Me...he _

_Every me and every you,_

_Every Me...he _

I rolled him off of me and he knew that something wasn't not right and the love we had made had been made for the wrong reasons and thought i had said i had been fine I really had been lying all along to the both of us.

"I'm sorry Draco I could never love you back the same way," I slipped out from underneath the covers grabbed my dress and made my way to the bathroom with haste.

"I understand," I heard the whisper wavering from a voice that sounded as though it was about to cry, like it's world was just crushed in ten simple words, before i heard silence complete silence but that was outside my head inside my head was screaming and yelling and crying and going on overload all of my confusion had gotten the best of me. I could not believe what i had just done. I had just lost my virginity to Draco Malfoy! I slammed the bathroom door behind me locking it and climbed quickly into my dress ignoring the blood between my legs. I leaned against the wall, slumped down to the floor, put my head in my hand, and cried. It was supposed to be Harry I gave my virginity to he was the one i wanted he was the one for me. Why had i done something so stupid? Draco was definitely not Harry and now I had hurt him more than, if i had straight up rejected him. Now my actions would have consequences. Consequences i did not want to see or know. I ran a hot bath and left the tap dripping hot water so i would not feel the cold creep up on me and I could finally be at peace. I sat in the bath fully clothes and transformed my wand into a sharp razor blade. I had quickly ransacked my cupboard for some sleeping pills and taken my never-ending bottle of Jim beam with me. I swallowed the all the pills in the packet and drank half a bottle of Jim beam. When i was drowsy I hacked messily at my wrists not caring about the blood that was spattering on my face just hoping that the after life would be kinder than the one I was about to leave.

_Every me and every you,_

_Every Me...he _


	9. Goodbye my lover

Chapter Nine

Goodbye My Lover

Malfoy dragged himself from the floor, put back on his underwear, and put the rest of his clothes on the couch as he cleaned up after our little late night escapade the sounds of James Blunt's Goodbye my lover wafted up from the great hall where the Valentines ball was still in full swing. He flicked his wand and cleaned the red blood on the white rug without as much as a trace of what had just transpired. He went into my room to apologies to find me not in there he decided i would be crying in the bathroom. He knocked on the door and when he did not get an answer, he got worried. After three minutes of knocking and calling panic seized, him and he knocked down my door not thinking of using his wand.

_Did I disappoint you or let you down?_

_Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?_

_'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,_

_Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won._

_So I took what's mine by eternal right._

_Took your soul out into the night._

_It may be over but it won't stop there,_

_I am here for you if you'd only care._

When he entered the sight that greeted him made him feel sick to his stomach. There was the angel he had just felt underneath him whose body he had loved and brought to its highest point in personal pleasure alike to the pleasure I had given him, seemingly asleep in a bath of my own blood. My face white as a sheet, my eyes peacefully closed and a small smile on my face hoping in death I would find happiness. He rushed to my side wanting it to be an illusion wanting it to be a joke or a dream as long as it wasn't real.

_You touched my heart you touched my soul._

_You changed my life and all my goals._

_And love is blind and that I knew when,_

_My heart was blinded by you._

_I've kissed your lips and held your head._

_Shared your dreams and shared your bed._

_I know you well, I know your smell._

_I've been addicted to you._

"Hermione what have you done?" He asked the silence his eyes full of unshed able tears for the love he couldn't save.

_Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend._

_You have been the one. You have been the one for me._

_Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend._

_You have been the one. You have been the one for me._

He put his hand in the dark red water, which contained the juice of my life. Disgusted by what he would find but knowing he had to go on. He had to know if he could help. He sought out my hand but what he found was far worse than what he wanted. He felt the hacking of my wrist and he wanted to throw up in the bathtub that i was bathing in my blood in. I felt as if the world he had known and loved had been blown out of proportion if not apart.

_I am a dreamer but when I wake,_

_You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take._

_And as you move on, remember me,_

_Remember us and all we used to be_

_I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile._

_I've watched you sleeping for a while._

_I'd be the father of your child._

_I'd spend a lifetime with you._

_I know your fears and you know mine._

_We've had our doubts but now we're fine,_

_And I love you, I swear that's true._

_I cannot live without you._

He lifted what was left of my hand hanging loosely from my wrist from the bath my blood was still pouring from my veins but he knew from my face and my skin that i was beyond help to him i was dead. He kissed the wound my blood on his lips; two tears feel from his eyes to my wrist.

_Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend._

_You have been the one. You have been the one for me._

_Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend._

_You have been the one. You have been the one for me._

_And I still hold your hand in mine._

_In mine when I'm asleep._

_And I will bear my soul in time,_

_When I'm kneeling at your feet._

The water changed from red to clear in a matter of minutes.

_Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend._

_You have been the one. You have been the one for me._

_Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend._

_You have been the one. You have been the one for me._

My eyes fluttered open and i remembered that I was in the bath and then I had remembered what I had done and why i had done so beside the bath was Malfoy his eyes red and swollen with tears his face a mix of sadness and happiness torn between his emotions his lips red with my blood.

_I'm so hollow, baby, _

_I'm so hollow._

_I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow._

_I'm so hollow, baby, _

_I'm so hollow._

_I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow._

Anger filled my like a ball of fire and rage bigger than the sun where my heart once was there was only pain, hate, blame, guilt and anger ever burning anger.

"What did you do to me Malfoy?" i croaked at him his face now just a look at surprised.

"I don't... I don't know..." he stuttered in reply.

"Why didn't you leave me to die," i said calmly making it cut into him more, "didn't you hear me I don't love you," i delivered this blow tactfully, "Why can't you just leave things be? If you hadn't changed me or helped me, you would never have loved me."

"You know that's a lie."

"No, you know it's the truth and don't want to admit it." I pulled myself from the bath my dress weighing me down filled with water but rather than take it off in front of Malfoy i just tried to move with it.

"Hermione, you have too much to live for. Why can't you see that? You waste it away on precious potter who treats you like shit and doesn't care! You are so much better than that and you know it."

"Oh and doing you is doing better?"

"No it isn't and that is not my point! You are too smart for that!"

"Yes Malfoy I'm so smart that i slept with you, that's really intelligent."

"JUST SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME!" He yelled for what i thought was the first time. '"I wish you would listen to your heart instead of your head when it comes to love. If you had listened to your head, you wouldn't have just lost your virginity to me and if you had listened to your heart, you wouldn't have killed yourself. You wouldn't have let me give you mine. How do you think i felt when i found you dead right after i gave you my most precious possession? After i gave you my heart and you tore it to shreds dammnit... I don't care if you don't love me but i don't think i could live knowing you had killed yourself because of me so stop being so damn bloody selfish!" I pulled back my hand and slapped him across the face leaving a nice red mark on his cheek and a small cut from the gem in my ring.

"I gave you what you wanted Malfoy how is that selfish? I gave you my body but I will never give you my heart Malfoy," I spat in his face, turned on my heel and stormed from the bathroom back to my room and took of my heavy wet dress and muttered a quick drying spell so it wouldn't grow mould and threw it in with the rubbish under my bed. I braved my way back to my bathroom where Malfoy was still sitting on the floor staring into space. Without so much as a word to him, I picked up the bottle of Jim beam from the floor beside the bath and picked up the tablet packets. At least i would have no troubles sleeping. I locked my room solidly once i got back inside the warmth of it and sat on the edge of the bed the bottle Fred and George had given me. I pulled out my chocolate stash and started to pig out and drink heavily, finally fully sedated by alcohol chocolate, sugar and a few too many joints I remembered something.

When I had died my should had lingered behind. I had not been my time. I had seen Malfoy come in and seen the pain in his face and most of all I could feel the love and sadness in his heart. I could feel everything he had felt. He had leaned over my dead body and kissed the wound that had caused to be fatal and tore is heart to pieces. I had watched him cry and watched as my body had slowly come back to life and eventually all had been black and I had been alive again. I looked at my wrists to see two thin ugly scars that you wouldn't see if you weren't looking. Love had saved me, just like Harry's parents. Only love and the truth would set me free.


	10. Something about Harry

Chapter Ten.

Something about Harry

I awoke the next morning with a heavy head and a heavier heart. I struggled to the kitchen tormenting myself whether i should go through the rose garden or the common room, which i decided i would go through the rose garden.

I pulled out a coffee cup and boiled water the muggle way added coffee to my cup honey and mixed it in then added milk so the hot water would not burn the beans. I poured in the water and let it cool adding a dash of condensed milk and cream.

While the coffee cooled, i made my way back through the rose garden and my room to my bathroom. I washed my face with cold water and threw up immediately after ward miraculously throwing up all the pills i had consumed the night before. I brushed my hair for a second and decided t leaves it bushy and unkempt. I washed my mouth out ridding it of the foul taste of vomit all the while trying to avoid looking at the scene of the previous night's crimes all the while. I went back to my coffee and sipped it. I felt much better after i had thrown up and drunk the coffee. I waved my wand and the dishes began to do themselves. I went to my closet and pulled out a 3/4 length tight white t-shirt and a full length black cotton gypsy skirt which had black cotton ribbon trimming all over it. I put on my ruby necklace removing the presents Malfoy had given me the night before and putting them back in the box he had given me along with the earrings, which I placed, in front of his door. I put on the small ruby studs the Weasley's had given me as a birthday present in my ears. I made my way to the great hall and sought out the mop of messy red hair I needed someone to talk to that would keep my secret. I found him and sat beside him stealing his toasted bacon and cheese sandwich from his hand.

"Hey that's my... Hermione! Hey good to see you! I must say you looked hot hot hot man i wish my boyfriend was hot like you hot."

"Why thanks Ron," my cheeks burned at his comment.

"Yeah Ron you weren't the only one who noticed it seemed Malfoy couldn't seem to wait to run after you after you ran off," Harry sulked. In my haste, i had missed his presence completely. I had almost had a heart attack!

"Harry Look I'm really sorry about the things i said last night okay i was out of line and so was Malfoy and if it means anything to you i told him where to go last night. And I'm sorry about the dick head thing too."

"Awww Hermione babes that's all you had to say. I'm sorry about everything i have done too i really hurt your feelings and let my pride get in the way of our friendship. But were you really dating Malfoy?" I laughed when Harry had finished speaking and we hugged each other tightly.

"No Harry, we weren't dating he just had a big crush on me." we all laughed at this everyone giving us funny looks not knowing what we were laughing at, "He and I made this agreement after Harry and I had a fight that if i talked to him and taught him to cook he'd help me win Harry's heart. He always used at as an excuse though to get close to me only to make you jealous." Together they went red in the face laughing. I was in the golden trio that really wasn't all that golden and pure like thought again... I couldn't help feeling guilty though telling them all of this when i had promised Malfoy who had no one to talk to had alienated himself from his friends to be my friend and had been so nice to me that i wouldn't.

"You did look hot last night Hermione," Harry blushed this time.

"Thanks," i was a bit flustered myself.

"Hey Hermione can you help me and Harry study today?" Ron asked hopeful.

"Sure, hey Harry can i be your study buddy in our classes seeing as my one has a crush on me and makes me feel weird." I asked.

"Sure, I can't stand my partner I'd love to," he slinked his arm around my shoulder. Ron made another sandwich and smiled.

"Arr ye look like a pirate Hermione, what with ye outfit," he feigned pirate accent.

"Yarr all i need is me cutlass, me hook, me eye patch and me 'at, Yarr me hearties to ye water Yarr," i joined in.

"You mean the lake?" Harry asked without an accent making us laugh.

"Yarr," Ron answered for me and we laughed and played playfully as we made our way out of the great hall my arms intertwined with one of theirs. I pretended not to see the blonde head scowling at me as he entered and we left betrayal all over his face.

We got to the lake and the boys pulled out a bag of pot.

"I have a bong and chop bowl in my room if you want to smoke in there."

"Have we been to your dorm before?" Harry asked the question.

"No i don't believe you have," I answered him, "come on let's go!" We walked to my dorm as we had to the lake and came face to face with...

"Is that the..."

"Yes Ron it's the Mona Lisa."

"Why Hello Hermione, Ahh you have friends should i bore them away with the Di Vinci code?"

"We're fine thanks Mona, Bucket," I gave her the password and she opened to the portrait hole.

"Very well see you later dearie."

"Ohhh but i wanted to know about the Da Vinci code!" Ron whined playfully.

"By the way dear," Mona stopped me again, "tell Mr. Malfoy to feel batter soon he looked more of a wreck than you did this morning." My insides had turned into ice at the mention of his name.

"Yes Mona, but you will probably talk to him before I do; he's in a strop with me. See you later." I hurried inside before she could say anything else and she shut behind us.

I led the boys to my room and we sat down on the comfy couches and i lounged on the sofa after i had grabbed the bong, bowl, sisscors, spin and some pot myself when i sat down i remembered something else and pulled out my never ending bottle of Jim Beam. I went to the kitchen and got three glasses and a two-liter bottle of coke. I put everything on the red cedar wood table between us.

"Look what Fred and George gave me," i held up the bottle proudly.

"A bottle of Jim beam? I thought they'd already bought you a year's supply?"

"No Ron, its a never ending bottle of Jim beam, so I want you two to go halves in my years supply chuck a party with it or spike the party drinks whatever, "Drink up boys!" We poured ourselves our own glasses of alcoholic beverage and raised our glasses.

"To best friends," toasted Ron. Harry and I both waited a while and said to best friends in unison and blushed our eyes meeting. He held my gaze and smiled. We all drank.

"Here is to you Hermione good women are scarce," Said Harry.

"Too right why do you think i prefer boys except for the fact that they are so much hotter and normally less trouble than girls excluding Neville who is as much trouble as any woman yet?" He drank to this also. I picked up the bowl and chopped up and added spin and then smoked one passing bongs around the room until we were very drunk and even more stoned. I went to the kitchen to get more candy when on my way returning to my room I ran into Harry who was waiting for me in the rose garden.

"Oh hiya Harry!" I smiled drunkenly.

"Hey Hermione."

"Umm why are we saying hello i thought we had already done that?"

"I don't remember," and with the most unromantic line ever heard he leaned in and kissed me. I was happy i wasn't to big a fan of romance anymore. "Well are you gunna be my girl?" He quoted the band jet cheesily. My heart stopped for what seemed the third time that day. This is what i had been working for, what i had wanted but why did it feel so dirty?

"I love you too Harry," I smiled drunkenly and we kissed again. We walked back to my room. I knew Malfoy was in the kitchen and as mean as it was i had hoped he had seen.

Now our seating changed, Ron sat on his own on a couch only the bong and the bottle to keep him company and Harry and I sat beside each other on the lounge.

"Hey guys i think every year Hagrid gets a new pet, there was fluffy remember him? Wasn't so fluffy was he?" I rambled drunkenly.

"Year one." Ron smiled remembered being slobbered on by the enormous mutt.

"And Aragon."

"Year two," Harry joined in remembering Ron's fear of spiders and his bravery to some with him while Hermione was petrified, "Buckbeak."

"Year Three," I added remembering when my new boyfriend had flown on the back of the giant animal after taming him and being allowed in his company after it had attacked Malfoy.

"Year four?"

"His girlfriend," I giggled.

"Year five?"

"His Family he returned to," Harry laughed at a drunken Ron trying to balance his unbroken wand on the end of his nose.

"Year six?"

"Thor, remember him?"

"Of course who couldn't what about this year?" Harry asked

"A baby... I've heard," i exclaimed.

"Blimey has he really?"

"Ron you sounded just like your old man just then."

"And that's a bad thing I'm proud of my old man."

"is it true Hagrid's missus had a baby?"

"Apparently madam maxine had a baby girl and she's huge only just had her so something though"

"And why didn't i know this?"

"Because Hagrid hasn't been here for a month or so. Probably settling the new babe. I wonder if he'll come back?" I poured more glasses of Jim Beam and cola.

"To hagrid and his pets" I announced adding a fake stuck up accent to go with it.

"To hagrid and his pets!" the boys chorused in return and we all skulled our drinks til we could get no more from them.

"It sounds like the beginning of a letter not a toast." again we laughed

"Another round boys?" I asked as I topped up our drinks.

"To me and Hermoine," Harry called out causing ron to choke on his drink.

"What?" Ron was confused and you could see it on his drunken merry face.

"Harry and I are together Ron."

"Why am I always the last to know?"

"Well apart from us you're actually the first." i poked my tongue out at him.

"Well that's great Hermoine and Harry together at last just how it should be. At last, dinner came and Harry Ron and I stumbled drunkenly to the great Hall laughing in our stoned and drunken state. We hardly had time to smell the sweet food before we wolfed it down gorging ourselves till we wee about ready to burst our munchies taking hold of our animal instincts before we could stop them. Harry slinked his arm around my shoulder and kissed my cheek.

I could feel his eyes piercing my soul from his seat alone on the other side of the great hall. I smiled and not once did i look his way in my mind i had to make my self believe it never happened.


	11. Jealousy

Chapter Eleven.

Jealousy

"Come on Hermoine why not?" Harry whined me almost a month after we had begun dating, "I try and get physically close to you but you never let me really touch you like you know I'm dying too. I wanna see you make out with Lavender you don't have to like her just make out for a little while"

"Why Harry? Why does it mean so much to you?"

"Why does it matter so much to you? You don't want to lose your virginity, you're being frigid and plain selfish!"

"I'm being selfish!" i exploded i had lost my patience wit this topic long ago, "You can't pressure me into it Harry!"

"Then I'll just go ad see Lavender like I always have to anyway," He retorted telling me not for the first time of his constant infidelity. I love him so much that i always forgave him for it but this time i would not stand for it.

"Get Out!" i yelled at him from the top of my lungs after storming to my door and opening it Harry simply shot me a dirty look and walked out of my room i followed him into the common room," and don't you ever think you ca come back this time potter I've had it with you we are so totally over. Oh and here's news for you Potter I'm not the innocent virgin everyone thinks I am," i continued at his retreating back but the last line caused him to stop dead in his tracks, " I fucked Malfoy after the Valentines ball and it was fucking great You were wrong Harry Draco did want e for more than my body He loved me and i gave that away for you, I never thought i would be so stupid as to give away a decent guy for the likes of you potter!."

"Yeah he really wanted you for more than your body that's why he fucked you and let you leave." I sneered at me. I pulled back my hand curled into a fist and brought it down upon his nose blood squirting out of it after i had done so, "You bitch I'll get you for this," he promised before making his way out of the portrait hole leaving me standing bewildered at myself in the common room so i thought alone. But no, i was never alone. I crumbled to the floor staring at my hands wondering what was wrong with me.

"Why do i keep fucking up? Why do i keep doing this to myself it's my own fault," i said aloud to myself not thinking that anyone was listening.

"Yes it is your fault Granger." I felt panicked someone had been listening.

"Sod off Ferret boy."

"Harsh words from the likes of you."

"I said sod off or do you want me to break your nose too?' You'll never be as perfect as you pretend to be Granger."

"Cut the crap would you?

"No I've waited a long time to say this to you and I'm damn well not going anywhere until you hear me out."

"Then I will." I started towards my room when Draco grabbed my arm and forcefully sung me so i landed on the couch with a small "Ummph," not hurt just surprised. "Hey!" i protested to this roughhouse treatment.

"Just sit there and shut up for fucks sake Mudblood!" he bore down on me, "you're such a damn little fake that every time i see you i want to scream at you every time i see you! I know your grades are slipping Granger and I know you are hitting the bottle and you have gotten worse with the pot! You never told anyone about what we did and out of respect for you, for you! The bitch that used me and cut me down when how i felt was obvious all along! I never kept it hidden but I never made it obvious cause i didn't want to get hurt and all the while i was naive to think that one day you'd really see me but know you had to hurt me more than my drunken abusive father who beat me because you were smarter than me ever did... see you even managed to hurt me without meaning too! You hurt me more than the death of my own sister! You betrayed my trust when I needed you most and told your friends things you promised to never tell when I was keeping your secrets all along! And Harry! Let me get started about Harry! You do not love him do you? DO YOU?" he was shouting now his jealousy and hurt all over his face his pain displayed in his eyes so ready to spill tears that his hardened heart would not let him cry.

"No Malfoy I don't love him not anymore, nut you... you're just jealous and when I'm ready to give you another chance you throw a hissy fit! It was not my fault your father beat you and do you think that my life was easier? My father was the same he got drunk and came home to beat my mother for not having his dinner ready and ten at night when it was in the fridge and all he had to do was reheat it who when i was young laid into me and gave me bruises and left marks in places my mother had to hide when she bought clothes so that he didn't see them and make them worse? The only secret i did not keep was that you liked me Malfoy and I was never told I had too. I had Harry Malfoy our deal was done i do not owe you shit. And now everyone will know what we did by the end of tomorrow. Most importantly this is my life Malfoy and what I do with it is my decision!" i poked at my chest livid with rage and ready to draw my wand and curse him to Timbuktu for the rest of my life.

"And you're fucking it up! I saved your life and you are only making a mess of it! You are walking around the school as if everything is fine and dandy as if we never happened but I'll tell you something Granger It did happen! In addition, I know it's all a mask, you never let anyone in anymore, you no longer trust anyone, but you used to trust me, you damn well let me in, so why did you lock me out? What are you running away and hiding from?" He continued the livid argument we were now both beyond rage and beyond reason and the only thing we could do was to keep debating each other welling and swearing as much as we could adding personal insult after personal insult.

'If you hadn't well saved my life i wouldn't be here to fuck it up, you should have left me to die like i had planned to, like i wanted and needed too! I would not have to wear a mask! I would not have to run or hide, I would not have to trust people or let them in and i would not be here to annoy you! You should have fucking well left me to damn die damn you! You should have left me to die!" I yelled back at him also wanting to cry. He became solemn at this and all emotion had left his face.

"You're right granger, you filthy mudblood slut," he paused for a moment while i gave him the funniest weirdest and scariest look he had ever seen, he spat on the floor in front of me where it instantly dried and disappeared you would never had known he had spat there if i hadn't of seen it myself, "I should have left you to die, you were never really worth it." His voice as was his heart cold as a stone made of ice and he turned on his heel and walked lazily to his room.

_Like a freeze-dried rose, you will never be,_

_What you were, what you were to me in memory._

_But if I listen to the dark,_

_you'll embrace me like a star,_

_envelope me, envelope me..._

_If things get real for me down here,_

_promise to take me to before you went away -_

_if only for a day._

_If things get real for me down here,_

_promise to take me back to the tune_

_we played before you went away._

Draco shut the door and put a silencing and fixing charm on his room, he picked up his chair and threw it against the wall shattering it into pieces before it remade itself where it had been before.

_And if I listen to, the sound of white,_

_sometimes I hear your smile, and breathe your light._

_Yeah if I listen to, the sound of white ._

Rage filled and consumed him he began picking up random objects and throwing them then he saw the jewellery he had given me on his bedside table he picked up the black velvet box and threw it with all his might at the door.

_You're my mystery. One mystery. My mystery. One mystery._

_My silence solidifies,_

_until that hollow void erases you,_

_erases you so I can't feel at all._

_But if I never feel again, at least that nothingness_

_will end the painful dream, of you and me..._

_If things get real for me down here, promise to take me to_

_before you went away, if only for a day._

_If things get real for me down here, promise to take me back to_

_the tune we played before you went away._

He raced to where they had fallen and picked them up in his hands feeling his insides crumble. Did he really wish he had just left her to die? Surely he needed her like he needed air to breath, food to eat and water to drink she was a necessity of his life that he couldn't live without. He knew after what he had just said a simply apology couldn't fix the problem he had cause he didn't know what to do.

_And if I listen to, the sound of white_

_sometimes I hear your smile, and breathe your light._

_Yeah if I listen to, the sound of white_

_sometimes I hear your smile, and breathe your light._

_And if I listen to, the sound of white._

He would sing to her, play her the song that had started all this, play the song he had played on the guitar the day they had called a truce. A song that was from his soul, the song he knew had been written to describe how hi heart always felt. He knew it he would sing to her.

_I knelt before some strangers face,_

_I'd never have the courage or belief to trust this place,_

_But I dropped my head, 'cos it felt like lead,_

_And I'm sure I felt your fingers through my hair..._

Thankful he had put a fixing charm on his room he put the jewels back where they belonged and made his way to the library to collect the guitar and his guitar notes and tabs.

_And if I listen to, the sound of white sometimes_

_I hear your smile, and breathe your light._

_Yeah if I listen to, the sound of white._

_The sound of white,_

_The sound of white,_

_The sound of white._


	12. Listen to you Hide

Chapter Twelve.

Listen to you hide.

Everyone was gathered in the great hall for the special school event a talent quest where every year was allowed to compete. All the lights went out except for a few candles and a large spotlight on the stage. In the middle of this large light squinting until sunglasses were applied which made the look more mafia and doubted it really helped.

"Welcome everyone to the Hogwarts Talent Quest spectacular! Tonight he have Amazing muggle magic, drag queens and drama kings, dancers and even our Head boy and Head girl have decided to participate separately of course, Harry potter, Dumbledore and even our very own comedic professors group which is great to see them all working together instead of competing against each other eh? Now if you look in you r magic show guide you will see that our beautiful Head girl Miss Hermoine Granger is up first singing and dancing to a smash dance hit that made DHT a smash in nightclubs and homesteads around the world so here she is our very own English beauty Hermoine Granger with listen to your heart!"

I felt nervous as my name was called; my long black dress clung to my body pumping up my cleavage making them look like two massive mountains and my waist look like an hourglass. The spotlight went out as if on cue as the music started and came back much fainter to reveal me on stage my eyes closed where i moved myself to the beat of the music letting it take control and forgetting my world as it weaved its very own special magic.

_I know there's something in the wake of your smile_

_I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yeah_

_you've built a love but that love falls apart_

_your little piece of heaven turns too dark_

_listen to your heart when he's calling for you_

_listen to your heart there's nothing else you can do_

_I don't know where you're going and I don't know why_

_but listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye_

Immature men in the crowd who were behaving like they had never seen a shapely woman before wolf whistled at me and cheered me on as the rest of the crowd stood in silence as i danced, like no one was watching I dancing blocking them all out. For the first time in a long time i was free and no one would take this away from me.

_sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile_

_the precious moments are all lost in the tide, yeah_

_they're swept away and nothing is what is seems_

_the feeling of belonging to your dreams_

_listen to your heart when he's calling for you_

_listen to your heart there's nothing else you can do_

_I don't know where you're going and I don't know why_

_but listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye_

the dance music continued working its way into my veins before the next lines began my voice sounding like honey and hitting the high notes with ease i think now people were starting to hear my voice. To hear my words. They all knew about the Malfoy fiasco because Harry was terrible at keeping secrets and they wondered if this song was to a special someone sitting in the crowd waiting his turn mesmerised by the beauty standing dancing and singing before him. Finally i opened my eyes and there he was in the very front his face not giving away a hint of emotion like stone the last time we had spoken to each other when he had wished he had left me to die. exactly the same.

_and there are voices_

_that want to be heard_

_so much to mention_

_but you can't find the words_

_the scent of magic_

_the beauty that's been_

_when love was wilder than the wind_

_listen to your heart when he's calling for you_

_listen to your heart there's nothing else you can do_

_I don't know where you're going and I don't know why_

_but listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye_

_Listen to your heart...mm..mmm_

_I don't know where you're going and I don't know why_

_but listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye_

The dance music concluded and the crowd roared and cheered my name whistling and screaming like i had never heard it before but he wasn't shouting cheering or whistling, he wasn't even clapping. I felt heart broken.

"Thank you," i muttered into the microphone before handing it to the presenter and running off stage the crowd still cheering and chanting my name. It took him a good five minutes to shut them up and i was glad that i didn't have to sit amongst them and hear their praises. I sat through two bad muggle magic acts that were still pretty funny, a play and Ron and Neville mouthing I will survive in full Pricilla queen of the desert style which was better than anything i had seen in the night so far, another two songs, Harry's comedy sketch, Dumbledore's animal imitations and the professors stand up comedy which was absolutely hilarious as they were mainly just paying each other out.

"Seeing as our first act was our beautiful Head girl our final act will be our head Boy Mr Draco Malfoy singing Something for Kate's you only hide. My heart raced. we had not spoken since our argument. He looked amazing in a white singlet and black pants his guitar slung over his back. He started to play the opening chords to a song that was so familiar i couldn't put my finger on it but i knew that i had heard it before he stopped suddenly.

"My partner couldn't say the same in her performance but this is to a beautiful woman who stole my heart away, she knows who she is," and he started again.

_so i keep watch and you keep breaking_

_breaking formation to become someone else_

_and your eyes become corridors where i wander _

_with a candle calling out to you_

His voice was rough and edgy and raw but still smooth as silk or honey but he could not hide the emotion inside the words in his voice. I could feel the tears coming to my eyes as he sang this song from his heart to min. I couldn't take it, i turned on my heel and left his voice drifting after me as if it was calling after me to come back.

_And you only hide_

_because you know i'll find you_

A shadowy figure crept behind me silently as my footsteps echoed in the halls like the music that haunted me, the voice that was controlling my heart making it feel tight and constricted but still so ready to burst.

_you say you just want to feel_

_the way you used to feel_

_the way you should feel_

_and i wander through_

_the lost city of you_

He had seen me leave and he knew i would not be alone, he saw who had stolen away after me.

_and you only hide _

_because you know i'll find you _

_and you only hide _

_because you know i'll find you _

He finished playing the final chords and the crowd sat there in silence stunned at this side of Malfoy eventually the applause was so loud that i could hear it as i approached our dorm. As soon as he finished he slung his guitar back on his back and hurried after me eager to be at my side to ease the pain i was feeling. Little did he know the pain i was truly about to feel.


	13. You Bitch I will get you for this

Chapter Thirteen

You Bitch I will get you for this.

"I've got you now bitch," a hard grip grabbed my arm and tightened around my bicep causing a sharp pain in my bicep, "and you're going to do everything I tell you too understand?" I struggled with the iron grip only to receive a sharp blow over the back of my head. "I told you not to move," the voice commanded, "Now you're going to take me back to your room you little slut and you're going to sexually gratify me." With a hard shove from behind, i led the way to our dorm praying that Malfoy would be there to help me but knowing in my heart he would not be there because if he were there he would have passed us already as there was only one way to our dorm. We eventually made it to the portrait of Mona Lisa all the while my attacker standing behind me but i knew from his voice who it was and what he wanted and i felt sick that i also knew how he was going to get it. I wished i was naive and stupid and did not know what was about to befall me. However, i knew. I had hoped that Mona could help but i knew that she was bound in this painting and could not move for what she had done to Da Vinci and now I was to befall almost a similar fate, as I too had no way out. He forced me pushing and shoving into my room and slammed the door shutting, locking and silencing it not letting go of his iron grip that only a seeker who had really worked out could attain. He grabbed my dress from behind ripping from my body and then i knew i really was in danger and only i could really save myself now. i pounded my fists against his hardened chest screaming for him to stop almost begging for him to leave me be but in my heart i knew he wouldn't listen desire controlled him now and i didn't know what to do to ease it except to take this cruel and unfair punishment that was to be dealt to me. I had made my bed now i had to lie in it. He took my fists i was using to fight him against him weakly as all of the fight in me was slowly but surely leaving and bound them tightly to my bed before slapping my face. Smiling he curled his hand into a fist and used it against me branding it into my face and like when my father had done this too me i had tried to hide inside myself but i was finding this a harder than it had once been for me. I prayed for unconsciousness but it would not come. Tears filled my eyes as fear filled my heart and i tried to kick at him to which he bound my legs to the bed after finally after much struggle removing my underwear.

"You're getting what you deserve mudblood," he spat into my bloodstained face as he climbed on top of me.

_Alone you find yourself just hanging, _

_and to fill the hole you cling to all that seems, _

_to hide the little girl that crying, _

_underneath the rage that you let others see._

My obvious discomfort obviously brought him pleasure as he bit and chewed on my nipples making me cry out in pain to which he would punch me again until i had learned to be quiet only to start chewing on my sensitive skin.

_Cause you're dancing dirt into the snow_

_while others look at you on show._

_You're dancing dirt into the snow_

_while all around you people grow_

_And watch you bleed._

_And watch you bleed._

I screamed in agony as he plunged himself into me forcefully not caring that with his forceful thrusts a piece of my delicate insides was tearing away and blood poured from my insides like they were my outsides. He bit and sucked on my skin till it bled all the while leaving me conscious to feel the pain and when ever i was near collapse he would bring me back by spitting in or slapping my face and body as he helped himself to me causing my blood to pour all over the bed.

_So now you look at me, eyes wooden._

_An anchor through your head; crimson for disguise._

_An opal for a wound you carry, _

_heavy lights of pleading someone look at me._

"Harry stop please stop!" i cried out from beneath him.

"No fuck you bitch, you're getting what you deserve mudblood," he retorted laying now into my body leaving behind bruises like the numerous hickeys and bite marks over me. My insides were mere jelly now reduced to nothing my pride in tatters as i took his lie and fed it to myself clinging to it as my only hope of sanity this is what i deserve i told myself over again, this is what i deserve.

_Cause you're dancing dirt into the snow_

_while others look at you on show._

_You're dancing dirt into the snow_

_while all around you people grow_

_And watch you bleed._

_And watch you bleed._

Finally, consciousness left me and i passed out as Potter finished himself off and climbed off of me.

_The more you push through broken glass, the thicker it becomes._

_And the more you turn on broken worlds, the sooner you will need._

_The more you push through broken glass, the thicker it becomes._

_And the more you turn on broken worlds, the sooner you will need_

_A gun._

Unfortunately consciousness reclaimed me with a feeling of warm water trickling down my face and body only to find Potter had spat in my face and on my body again for good measure he unbound my arms and my legs but i had no strength to avenge myself. I curled naked body into a small ball as he the sat on the bed beside me after he had tided himself up and none of the crime showed on his toned and what i once thought sexy body. He tilted my chin up making me look into his eyes.

"Say It mudblood tell me why this happened," He said wanting to rub salt into my fresh wounds.

"I am a mudblood slut and i deserved this," I replied my voice monotone but not letting him see how he had broken me.

"Good girl now you are not to tell a soul you hear me?" i nodded my head weakly and returned to my ball in the middle of my bed falling once again into unconsciousness.

_Cause you're dancing dirt into the snow_

_while others look at you on show._

_You're dancing dirt into the snow_

_while all around you people grow_

All around me was blackness and I was standing alone in the sea of darkness a white dress clinging to my body pushed a breeze i couldn't feel my eyes closed peaceful as though asleep.

"Help!" i cried but my lips never moved this cry came form within. "Help!" i called even louder now and more frantic, "Help!" i kept screaming all the while knowing no one would hear me, as I was not even speaking. I put my hands to my stomach and began clawing at my own flesh. Then i felt a hand reach into my chest and squeeze my heart. "Help!" i cried one last time and then there was nothing but darkness once more. Just me and my old friend the darkness.

Malfoy threw his jacket onto the couch and rolled himself a joint as he made his way to the rose garden to contemplate his situation. He really wanted to talk to me but knew that i was not alone from the sounds he heard that disgusted him of loud moaning and groaning which he knew was her and Potter. What he did not know that those sounds were a by-product of the charm that had been cast earlier and so he thought he knew what was going on in that room and all of his courage had left him. He looked up as the door to my room slammed and out walked a smiling Potter who was fixing his pants and lighting a cigarette. Malfoy felt white-hot rage replace all of his emotions. That whore had slept with Potter while he had poured his heart to her! He had tried to hard and had lost her to Harry Potter. Now he simply felt sick, disgusted and depleted. Potter noticed Malfoy sitting by himself and the two men who both fought for me one my body and the other my heart conversed.

"Good lay," he rubbed in knowing he had heard the noises made by his silencing charm.

"Yeah but i got to fuck her as a virgin, I'm sure the tight virgin i got to fuck was better than the loose slut she is now." Harry laughed at this nodding his head.

"True true, well I'm outta here you know how it is wham bam thank you mam, don't like to stick around while she sleeps like a baby." He waved as he walked out of the rose garden, through the common room and out past the portrait of Mona Lisa giving her a wink as he went.

Draco sat in the rose garden a few moments longer deciding to see if i really was sleeping like a baby. He stood outside my door contemplating if he really should go in or not he heard a soft groan and started to leave when he heard the sound of soft crying.

"Help! Draco Help!" he heard me whimper the sounds of my dream coming to life on my lips, as my lips did not move in my dream.

"Draco!" he scoffed, "didn't potter do it for her?" He instantly felt guilty and decided to go see what it was that i had wanted. He cracked the door open but he was not prepared for the sight that would meet his eyes. He rushed to my side eager to help my unconscious ball of flesh and blood. He ran his hand over my bruised and battered body tears falling from his eyes as he saw the bruises about my legs knowing full well where they had come from seeing them before on his sister.

"Oh Magnolia what has that beast done to do?" he asked the silence now that my groans and cries has ceased. My eyes fluttered open at his words to find Malfoy wit his hands on my body my skin burning as someone had doused me in gasoline and set me alight.

"What did you do to me you bastard?" i croaked my voice hoarse and my memory temporarily erased. He jumped at the sound of my voice his voice a picture of perfect innocence that i did not buy.

"Hermoine i swear i didn't touch you!"

"You make me sick you bastard get away from me!" i hissed my voice cold and emotionless though inside my heart was broken into millions of tiny pieces i closed off my right to emotion. Then my mind did a strange thing and the memories flooded back to me.

"Say It mudblood tell me why this happened," He said wanting to rub salt into my fresh wounds.

"I am a mudblood slut and i deserved this," I replied my voice monotone but not letting him see how he had broken me.

"Good girl now you are not to tell a soul you hear me?"

_I've seen you hanging 'round_

_This darkness where I'm bound_

_And this black hole I've dug for me_

_And silently within with hands touching skin_

_The shock breaks my disease_

_And I can breathe_

I groaned in terror reliving the ordeal over and over again in my mind tears escaped my brave face i had been trying to hold together. I felt warm arms wrap around me and i felt safe just sobbing in his arms.

_And all of your weight_

_And all you dream_

_Falls on me, it falls on me_

_And your beautiful sky _

_And the light you bring_

_Falls on me, it falls on me_

I screamed beating into his chest as he just held me tight and let me scream tears falling from his face for the sister he couldn't save.

_Your faith like the pain_

_Draws me in again_

_She washes all my wounds for me_

_The darkness in my veins_

_I never could explain_

_And I wonder if you ever see_

_Will you still believe_

I quickly ran out of energy and could no longer beat his chest as he held me to his chest his tears falling onto my blood matted hair and we just sat there two lost souls crying from pain betrayal and the loss of innocence.

_And all of your weight_

_And all you dream_

_Falls on me, it falls on me_

_And your beautiful sky _

_And the light you bring_

_Falls on me, it falls on me_

_Am I that strong_

_To carry on_

_I might save my life_

_I might save our world_

_Would you save me?_

"Hermoine, I'm so sorry," he whispered to me, "I promise i will bring you justice to you for what Potter did to you." He kissed my forehead as i fell asleep in my lap and he moved my head onto the pillow covering me with the doona and slipping quietly out of the room locking it after him.

_And all of your weight_

_And all you dream_

_Falls on me, it falls on me_

_And your beautiful sky _

_And the light you bring_

_Falls on me, it falls on me_


	14. The Avenger

Chapter Fourteen.

The Avenger.

After attacking me Potter had decided, he was not yet satisfied and went to find Lavender to take her to "Make out hallway" a dark and secluded hallway with many darker spots for couples to enjoy themselves without being disturbed and you would not notice if you were not looking. Draco knew that this was where Potter would be and after disturbing three or four couples including Ron and Neville he finally found Potter and Lavender.

"Lavender leave," he commanded his voice full of rage," go find everyone else and tell them to leave i have some unfinished business."

"You can't tell me what to do!" he sulked giving him puppy dog eyes trying to bat her eyelashes out of leaving.

"Trust me Lavender you don't want to see what's about to happen," he told her grabbing Potter's arm in his iron grip as Potter had done to me as he tried t run away like the chicken he was.

"See what?" She asked giving Potter a confused doe eyed innocent look.

"Payback." was all he answered her. Getting the message, Potter joined in the conversation finally.

"Lavender leave pet, i believe i need to have words with this ferret son of a death eater. Just do as he says and get rid of everyone else okay dear?"

"Okay babe same time next week?" she asked to which he just nodded her head. She kissed him on the cheek, went, and removed everyone else from the corridor.

When everyone was gone, Draco released Potter and threw him against the wall.

"Why?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"I was only giving that slut what she wanted and what she deserved." Potter retorted. Draco curled his hand into a fist and swung it at Potter missing.

"She didn't deserve to be raped you pig!" he swung again connecting with Potter's stomach winding him for a bare moment and standing again to full height once he had recovered.

"She's a slut, I'm sure she enjoyed it," he smiled disgustingly before adding the blow that would drive Draco crazy, "girls get raped for a reason you know, that mudblood had it coming. If i hadn't done it I'm sure you would have, Daddy would have been so proud if you had," he taunted. White-hot rage filled Draco like nothing he had ever felt before and he wanted to kill Potter with his bear hands something he had never wanted to do. He hated inflicting pain upon others but now he felt differently.

"My father was the rapist, murder not me," he debated controlling the sea of rising anger inside of him.

"Sure what ever Malfoy you were always just like him this year you're just a pussy." Draco tried so hard but he was now pushed beyond the edge of caring and he let his rage consume him throwing a punch at Harry's face knocking him out clean with one hit but he didn't want to stop there and he began kicking him with all his might and when that didn't contain him he got down on his hands and knees and beat into his body venting the last seven years of anger he had felt towards the self righteous prick, for hurting then raping his one true love which he was sure would never love him in return.

"Mister Malfoy!" Snape called seeing the blonde haired youth leaning over a pile of broken and battered flesh the blood all over his face. He was doing a surprise patrol to catch out any students up to shenanigans they were not supposed to be up to but he had not expected to find the blood and gore scene before him. He was stunned at the violence the youth was displaying if not a bit scared. "Draco! Stop it you'll kill him!" Draco turned to look at him and he saw in him another man not the student he had loved like a son for the past seven years.

"That's the point," he growled his blood spattered hand ceasing for a moment before he began to shake the mass below him. Snape fearing for his and the life in Malfoy's hands pulled out his wand.

"You leave me no choice Draco, Petrificus totallus!" Draco froze in a full body bind and lay beside his enemy. Snape looked over the remmanants of the attacked student to see no other than Harry Potter. He picked Potter up disgusted at having to do so and muttered the counter curse for Draco. "Follow me Mister Malfoy," he said disappointed in the youth. He carried Potter to the hospital wing explaining the situation to Madam Pomfrey who looked at Draco and shook her head sadly before Snape led a stunned, mortified, sullen yet proud Draco to his office dungeons. He had done what he had told Hermoine he would do he gave her revenge.

"Never in my life have i seen anyone act so reckless, so immature, and so irresponsible with no care for the well being or even the LIFE of another human being! I should strip you of your Head Boy title straight away but seeing as you have been a son to me for seven years and never have i seen you behave like this I will give you a chance to explain yourself." Draco was shocked, as he had expected expulsion not this.

"Hermoine," was all he could say.

"I need more of an explanation than that!"

'I'm sorry professor I can't tell you what happened, it's a personal matter and i think it best if you got McGonagall to talk to her. It isn't my lace to tell you what happened."

"Very well Draco," he sighed, "but i am very disappointed in you. Never in my wildest imaginings did i think you were capable of such a horrific behavior. So alike to your father in all my life."

"Yes professor, I'm sorry professor."

"I expected so much more than that from you. Well i will give you Monday off and I expect to see you and Miss Granger in your common room after breakfast. We will inform Potter of this meeting and give him a chance to explain but i doubt he can remain conscious or is not brain dead let alone speak on his behalf. That is all dismissed."

'Yes Professor, Thank you professor, again I'm sorry professor," he mumbled as he left the room.

"Get out of my sight," was all that Snape could say in return.

When Draco finally made his way back to the dorm he decided to check in on me. He found me sitting on my sofa smoking a joint a bowl full of chop and my bottle of Jim beam in front of me with a row of dirty empty half-and-half shot glasses, which I had filled, with Jim Beam and cola tearing coursing their way down my cheeks freely. He rushed to my side and enveloped me in a big hug.

"Don't touch me," i pushed him away.

"Hermoine don't do this to me again."

"Do what?"

"Push me away."

"I feel so dirty," i laughed at my own comment, "I'm a mudblood I am dirty." He grabbed my shoulders causing me to wince which he loosened his grip and squatted down in front of the sofa and me his blue eyes searching my caramel hues.

"You are not dirty Hermoine; you're the greatest witch this school has seen in a long time. You may not have magical parents but they did have the most bewitching witch i have ever set my eyes upon. Potter is the dirty one, i found him groping Lavender after all he did to you, Hell I am even dirtier than Potter i just beat him to a pulp in your honor. Snape caught me and he like myself has never been so ashamed of me in my life. That reminds me McGonagall and Snape will be here Monday after breakfast, you have to tell them what happened."

"Malfoy I can't," I whimpered to him softly.

"You have to they'll expel me if you don't!"

"I didn't ask you to beat up Potter!"

"I did it for you!"

"No you didn't Malfoy you did it for yourself to take your anger out on someone for what happened to your sister so I don't care I don't have to and I won't justify or be accountable for your actions!"

"You know what FINE, look after yourself in the future you seem to be doing a great job of it by the looks of things," he bellowed before storming out of my room. I climbed into bed and before I knew, someone was tapping at my door to wake me up.

I pulled the blanket over my head when i finally awoke Monday morning groaning at the annoying tapping noise coming from my door like an alarm clock that would not shut up.

"Go away Malfoy!" i yelled at the shut door but instead found the culprit to be Professor McGonagall who simply opened the door and walked in like i had never answered.

"Get dressed Miss Granger and please come to the common room, this is not a request either this is very serious matter that needs to be discussed. Mister Malfoy says you have just cause for this and I want to hear what you have to say no hurry up," she turned and walked form the room leaving me to get up and get dressed.

I grudgingly got out of bed and pulled out my black t-shirt that read in white block letters "I wish my lawn was Emo then it would cut itself and pair of long black pants with some clean white cotton underwear. I had completely forgotten the state of my face and body so much so that when i saw myself for the first time since the incident i almost passed out. My head felt light as i felt at my swollen left eye and countless black bruises. I had, had a shower before barely being able to stand on my jelly legs before Malfoy had returned from "Avenging me" washing off all the blood while sitting on the shower floor and crying into my hands but all the bruises and cuts had remained. I was lucky all of my teeth had stayed intact though and was thankful for that. I had scrubbed my purple black and blue skin raw trying to rid myself of the dirt i felt all over and inside of me. I had deserved it i told myself. I pulled my hair into a ponytail before getting dressed not bothering to put make up on my face, as I knew it would be no help.

I finally got to the common room to find Professor Snape, Professor McGonagall, a very sorry looking Malfoy and a smug looking Potter who looked in a lot worse a condition than myself...

_Seems like just yesterday _

_You were a part of me _

_I used to stand so tall _

_I used to be so strong _

_Your arms around me tight _

_Everything, it felt so right _

_Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong _

_Now I can't breathe _

_No, I can't sleep _

_I'm barely hanging on _

I would not give Potter the sick pleasure of seeing me cry. I stormed my way up to him and slapped him hard.

"Miss Granger!" McGonagall reprimanded me.

_Here I am, once again _

_I'm torn into pieces _

_Can't deny it, can't pretend _

_Just thought you were the one _

_Broken up, deep inside _

_But you won't get to see the tears I cry _

_Behind these hazel eyes _

"How dare you, you prick! You are pathetic; you have become what we have fought against for all these years! You're no better than Voldermort!"

_I told you everything _

_Opened up and let you in _

_You made me feel alright _

_For once in my life _

_Now all that's left of me _

_Is what I pretend to be _

_So together, but so broken up inside _

_'Cause I can't breathe _

_No, I can't sleep _

_I'm barely hangin' on _

_Here I am, once again _

_I'm torn into pieces _

_Can't deny it, can't pretend _

_Just thought you were the one _

_Broken up, deep inside _

_But you won't get to see the tears I cry _

_Behind these hazel eyes _

"Miss Granger, Explain!" Snape roared at me causing the last strings that had kept me together to snap.

"He raped me!" I yelled back even more furious causing Snape to look like a lost puppy, "The precious golden boy raped me, called me a mudblood, beat me and told me I deserved it! Well guess what Potter looks like you got what you really deserve!"

_Swallow me then spit me out _

_For hating you, I blame myself _

_Seeing you it kills me now _

_No, I don't cry on the outside _

_Anymore... _

I threw myself at Potter in blind fury hitting any part of him i could reach.

_Here I am, once again _

_I'm torn into pieces _

_Can't deny it, can't pretend _

_Just thought you were the one _

_Broken up, deep inside _

_But you won't get to see the tears I cry _

_Behind these hazel eyes _

Draco wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me off Harry.

"I think we've heard enough," McGonagall sighed, "Take her to her room mister Malfoy and then come back so we can hand out the required punishments that we see fit.'

_Here I am, once again _

_I'm torn into pieces _

_Can't deny it, can't pretend _

_Just thought you were the one _

_Broken up, deep inside _

_But you won't get to see the tears I cry _

_Behind these hazel eyes _

"Yes professor," he obliged before dragging me kicking and screaming to my room where he locked me in.


	15. When The War Is Over

Chapter Fifteen.

When The War Is Over

After taking me to my room, Malfoy sat down in front of the professors awaiting his punishment.

"Please professor Mc Gonagall, Take Mr. Potter to the Hospital wing, God knows he needs it after the bashing Miss Granger bestowed upon him. I will deal with Mr. Malfoy," Snape ordered as politely as his patience would allow him. Mc Gonagall without a word took Potter's arm and led him past Mona to the hospital wing.

"Detention for two months and seventy five points, as much as i hate to take them, from slytherin. I doubt this will matter to anyone in your house as they wont know what potter did or your reason behind it, you did beat the golden boy to a pulp. The dark lord would have been so proud of you. You really scare me sometimes Mr. Malfoy but it is in honor and though i am not fully filled in with your connection with Miss Granger I will hope that it was in her honor and not your own personal pleasure that you did so. I am for some reason proud of you for it, he did deserve it and that's why you're getting off easy, even though i know deep inside you were itching to do this to him, understand?" It was more of a statement than a question really.

"Yes Professor, thank you," was all he could mumble in reply.

"You look after her you hear? I am afraid potter won't get off easily and i would believe that she will be emotionally unstable for a while." With this professor, Snape stood and left himself f leaving Malfoy alone with his thoughts. He decided to lie on the couch and lit a joint to ease his racing mind.

"Ok, I'll help but i won't be changing any nappies you hear? they stink and are almost as big as my head," Malfoy complained serving his detention with a recently returned Hagrid, Madam Maxine and their new child.

"A'right, a'right but here make up a bottle while I change this Diaper," Hagrid mumbled rubbing his eyes from lack of sleep as the child wailed continuously in the back round. Malfoy boiled her giant bottle the size of his arm and filled it with watered down milk. He passed the bottle to madam maxine who wearily took it and quickly shoved it in the infant's obviously impatient mouth. It sucked quietly until its eyes finally closed. When it finished its bottle, it was Malfoy's job to burp it, which was a lot easier, said than done. The child was as big as a first year and just as heavy without the capability of standing on its own. He had to hold her up with one hand and thump her back with the other without hitting too hard until it burped its leftover milk all over his back. Finally weary from his detention he headed covered in baby vomit back to our dorm where he washed himself furiously.

Harry sat all alone in the hospital wing brooding on his recent expulsion from Hogwarts and his inability to enroll at any other schools. The sky outside was dark and stormy and the door creaked open. In the night, the white dress surrounded by the darkness floated over the floor as the pale skin of an angel skimmed towards him.

"Harry?" My face was healed and I looked as perfect as the night he had seen me at the valentine's ball, "I want you to know something Harry, You disgust me and I hate you." I turned around and walked out as quietly as i had come. I did not know I would be the last person to see him alive.

_I open my eyes i try to see but i'm blinded by the white line._

_I can't remember how i can't remember why I'm lying here tonight_

_And i can't stand the pain, and i cant make it go away._

_No i can't stand the pain_

_How could this happen to me, i've made my mistakes_

_go nowhere to run the night goes on it starts fading away_

_I'm sick of this life i just wanna scream_

_How could this happen to me._

_Everybody's screaming I try to make a sound but noone hears me,_

_I'm slippin off the edge I'm hanging by a thread_

_I wanna start this over again_

_So I try to hold onto a time when nothing matters_

_and i can't explain what happened_

_And I can't erase the things that i've done_

_No I cant_

_How could this happen to me, i've made my mistakes_

_go nowhere to run the night goes on it starts fading away_

_I'm sick of this life i just wanna scream_

_How could this happen to me._

_i've made my mistakes_

_go nowhere to run the night goes on it starts fading away_

_I'm sick of this life i just wanna scream_

_How could this happen to me._

Harry looked at his hands. He wished Malfoy had killed him almost as much as he wished he could rewind the year, start again, and tell me how he had felt all along and wished he had not played hard to get himself. What was life anymore? He had called me a mudblood, he had raped me deeming me a slut after a one-night stand I had, had. How many girls had he had sex with? He felt sick in his stomach, he had no pride in himself anymore and his mind was clouded as the night sky with depression. He had been expelled and had charges against him. He knew he would be bound for Azkaban where he felt he had belonged, he longed for the dementors kiss, and he felt he would deserve it. He deserved death and he longed for it ready to free himself of the world and free the world of him. He took a quill and parchment and a quill and wrote a letter to the one person who he had hurt the most and the only person he would ever feel indebted to his whole life. He planned for her a surprise. He pulled out his wand and pointed it at his head.

"Arvada Kadvara," he whispered to the darkness and he fell to the ground dead like someone had reached into his chest and squeezed his heart. He finally made his way to his afterlife to be with his mother and father killed by the same spell but a different hand though it might as well have been the same.

_may ever star you wish upon and everyhope your hanging on come true._

_Out of everybody in this world there's no one who deserves it more than you._

_I hope you find everything you've been dreamin of,_

_Only good things, no inbetweens just._

_Peace and Love._

_These words did not come easily, still you know i had to write them down,_

_You must know what you mean to me, i wish that you could always be around,_

_I hope find everything you are worthy of,_

_I'm gunna miss you, but i only wish you, _

_Peace and love._

_Peace and love, Tears of joy, kindess of strangers,_

_all of your roads paved in gold by guardian angels,_

_wherever you may be in this world,_

_my salutation says it all,_

_may you always have enough_

_Peace and Love_

_Yeah yeah yeah._

_I let you go unselfishly cause everyone needs time to be alone,_

_well maybe time will bring you back and if it does you'll always have a home_

_i sign my name no one to blame it on because,_

_i'm on your side question of pride._

_peace and love_

_Peace and love, Tears of joy, kindess of strangers,_

_all of your roads paved in gold by guardian angels,_

_wherever you may be in this world,_

_my salutation says it all,_

_may you always have enough_

_Peace and Love_

_may you always have enough_

_Peace and Love_

_may you always have enough_

_Peace and Love_

_may you always have enough_

_Peace and Love_

Madam Pomfrey found Harry Potter the next morning dead by his own hand, his wand still in his lifeless grip his eyes closed as if peaceful and a small smile on the corners of his lips as if he in death had finally found peace. Beside his bed he had found a letter and she shuffled anxiously to tell Mc Gonagall the news and give her the letter so she could decide what the best course of action would be.

A great cry went up when the news was broken to the school and I sobbed into Ron's shoulder knowing now that i was the last to see him breathe and i remembered my hurtful words i had last said to the man who had once been my best friend. The only upside to this news was that Voldermort was defeated with Harry's death had brought his destruction. Mc Gonagall would handle all of the arrangements for his funeral.

I sobbed as Harry was lowered into the ground. Even after he had robbed me of any respect for myself I had still been aggrieved as to the news of his death and it caused me much pain to bury my friend of almost seven years. Ron stood beside me his hand in mine and McGonagall stood a little behind us giving us room to be alone and there beside Harry's grave i told Ron what Harry had done to me and he did not say a word just held my hand tight. In my other hand i held a yellow rose. The rest of the school was assembled for his funeral to tell the stories of his life and his achievement but i had been there beside him in almost all of his achievements and to live the again would only break my heart as i would remember the pain of the last year when the friendship we had held so dearly had crumbled. Inside i felt as if this was a tragic triumph of sorts but in the same time i grieved the terrible loss. Mc Gonagall tapped me on the shoulder.

"Hermoine i have something for you," she sighed handing me a large envelope and a smaller one sealed with wax. I opened it and was confused at its contents as it fell into my hands, "the last will and testament of Harry Potter, and a personal letter to you." I looked at the will to see that he had left half to me and half to Ron both halves quite large in amount in fact enough that we would never have to work in our lives and could support families with the said income. I handed the will to Ron and as he read it i sat beside his grave and read the last thing Harry Potter had ever written.

_Hermoine,_

_ I just want to say that I am sorry for what i have done to you. I want to think that my death has brought you your deserved justice. They say your teenage life shapes you to become the person you become as an adult. If that is true you will become an amazing woman. Remember Hermoine that which doesn't kill me makes me stronger, i just wasn't strong enough. I have left you and Ron half of everything my parents had left me minus the amounts i have used myself. Use it well._

_With all my love,_

_Harry Potter._

_P.S Draco really loves you girl, i was wrong any guy would love you...(well not Neville or Ron) but he loves you the most. Open your eyes and see it! You were always beautiful to me and always you were the best friend any guy could have. You are and always were loyal, smart and brave. A true Gryffindor. And trust me I'm not being a dickhead this time._

I looked at the sky and the stars. He would watch over me. I blew out the candle beside his grave and tipped the hot wax over his coffin. I threw in the envelope after it and a handful of dirt before throwing in my single rose. I looked back up at the stars and whispered to him.

"I forgive you Harry, I forgive you." I could have sworn on the breeze i heard his sweet soft familiar voice alike to the time he asked me to trust him on his broom.

"Thank you," it whispered to me, "Thank you." and then I knew he was gone but i also knew i would never forget him.

_Aint nobody gunna steal this heart away,_

_Aint nobody gunna steal this heart away._

_When the war is over got get away,_

_Pack my bags to no place and no time no day._

_You and i we used eachothers shoulder,_

_Still so young but somehow so much older._

_How can i go home and not get blown away._

_Aint nobody gunna steal this heart away,_

_Aint nobody gunna steal this heart away._

_When the war is over got to start again,_

_Try to hold a trace of what it was back then._

_All around is chaos is madness,_

_Can't help feeling nothing more than sadness._

_Only choice to face it the best i can._

_Aint nobody gunna steal this heart away,_

_Aint nobody gunna steal this heart away._

_You and I we shared eachothers stories,_

_just a page i'm lost in all it's glories._

_How can i go home and Not be blown away._

_Aint nobody gunna steal this heart away,_

_Aint nobody gunna steal this heart away._

_Aint nobody gunna steal this heart away,_

_Aint nobody gunna steal this heart away._

_Ooooooohhhoooooooo._


	16. Gamble Everything For Love

Chapter Sixteen

Gamble Everything For Love

When I arrived back at our dorm Malfoy was just sitting at the fire staring into space his eyes red and tears streaming down his face. I knew that he had saved this for himself. he hated crying in front of people and he didn't want people to see his guilt. Everyone had blamed him for Harry's suicide not knowing the real reason behind it. he felt as if he had been the cause of Harry's death, if he had left everything alone it would have been okay and his insides had frozen not knowing of the last encounter I had had with Harry. He would turn into his old self. He would wear the iron mask given to him. He would forget me, treat me like he used to he knew in his heart this is what he had to do as much as he didn't want to.

"Draco?" i asked not knowing of his new promise to himself.

"What mudblood?" he snapped at me his red glassy eyes giving me a stare so hateful that i felt my insides shrivel. Harry had been wrong he did not love me anymore.

"Mudblood? what are you talking about Draco?" I questioned him again.

"You heard me granger, I don't have to justify myself to you now what do you want?" he continued in his icy and uncaring tone.

"To say I'm sorry," I tried to ease his pain.

"Look you're too late for sorry Granger," he quipped not letting me in not even for a second.

"Fine ferret boy," i began getting impatient and snappy with him, "But just so you know as head and boy and girl we have to attend the Graduation Ball together! I hope you have a nice night if you don't choke on your butterbeer first!" I stormed to my room happy to have the last words. I grabbed my Jim Beam and my pot and did what i always did when my world went topsy-turvy, I got stoned and i drank always remembering the golden rule Harry had told me.

_Beer than grass, you're on your ass,_

_Grass than Beer, you're in the clear._

I laughed as his words came to me and I raised a toast for him but guilt nagged at me as i ignored his last words to me.

_Gamble everything for love_

_Put it in a place you keep, put your name,_

_You can gamble everything for love if your free._

_You gotta gamble everything for love._

Malfoy sat down at the desk and pulled out a piece of parchment and wrote a note to me only to scrunch it up and throw it in the bin.

_Baby are you cold, are you cold baby,_

_I could wrap you up, wrap you up in my love._

_If you wanna you can gamble everything for love_

_If you wanna you can gamble everything for love._

I took a swig and another and another without any cola once i was well and truly smashed and looked at the now 3/4 empty bottle which had once been full.

"Wow I'm getting worse," i slurred to myself.

_Tell me are you feeling lost, have you crossed_

_In places that you never knew to get through_

_Tell me are you gunna cry all night_

_Tell me the truth and I'll tell you the truth_

_If you gamble everything for love your gunna be all right, all right._

I burst into tears in my state for not only had i lost my best friend since first year but i had also lost the man who had loved me the most. I was so sure that he loved me that in my drunken state i did something stupid though because i was drunk i didn't know it was so stupid.

_Make a list of things you need, Kept it empty_

_Except for number one that love gamble everything_

_Keep it under lock and key,_

_If you wanna you can gamble everything for love_

I opened the door to my room and swayed to the Sofa where he was now sitting and plonked myself down beside him.

_Love me with an open heart, tell me anything_

_We can find a place to start to gamble everything_

_We can set this thing apart, yes we're gunna_

_Gunna gamble everything for love_

"Hey Malfoy!" I chirped drunkenly and he waved his hand in front of his face due to the stench of Jim Beam on my breath.

"Fuck off Granger, how many times do i have to say it you drunken bitch?"

_Tell me do you lose your way each day _

_are there people you don't recognize do they lie_

_Tell me did they make you feel to real_

_Tell me the truth and I'll tell you the truth._

_If you gamble everything for love you're gunna be all right_

_All right._

"Awww you're such a sook," i laughed at him which obviously from his grumpy look made things worse though in my state i though i was funny and laughed at my own comment.

"Stop laughing at yourself granger, don't you know everyone does enough of that behind your back? Besides I am not whatever you think I am Granger," was his reply.

_Ohhh you can go your own way_

_Ohhh you can go your own way_

_Ohhh you gotta go your own way_

_If you gamble everything for love_

_If you gamble everything for love_

"I may be drunk Malfoy but I'm not stupid."

"Coulda fooled me, you're stupid to get drunk in the first place," he quickly responded.

"I knew you cared!" i pointed at him and broke into another fit of drunken giggles. I took another swig of my bottle emptying it only for it to fill up once again. Malfoy just gave me another sour look and rolled his eyes before responding.

"You are such a stupid bitch."

_If you gamble everything for love, gamble everything,_

_put it in a place you keep put your name._

_You can gamble everything for love if you're free_

_You gotta Gamble everything for love._

"I'm smarter than you still! and my grades have slipped but they are still higher than yours."

"You're always higher than me," he insulted cleverly.

"Shut your fucking face Malfoy! You don't know me!" i slung back not so clever now the booze had taken its effect on me.

"That's where you are wrong mudblood," he faced me and looked straight into my eyes, "I know you better than you think, better than anyone else sometimes even yourself, I just wish I didn't."

"No you don't Malfoy, don't lie to yourself, you're only doing this because you love me and you know i don't love you in return even after everything you have done for me."

_Tell me are you getting hurt is it worth it_

_Tell me are the people strange are they changed_

_Tell me are you letting go do you know_

_I'll tell you the truth if you tell me the truth._

"Now you listen to me mudblood he grabbed my shin and once again stared icily into my eyes, " i thought i loved you but i was wrong, i just wanted to take your virginity, find out your secrets and break your heart just like i told Pansy i could. You were just another conquest to me."

_If you gamble everything for love_

_If you gamble everything for love_

_If you gamble everything for love_

_You're gunna be all right_

_all right all right_

"You're so full of shit Malfoy i can see it in your face," I laughed at him.

"No granger, you're the one who is full of shit! You like me maybe even love me but you are the one who is too afraid to admit it."

"Malfoy... I like you," I burst into more giggles.

'You're really pathetic you know that?"

"I know you are I said you are but what am I?"

"A child."

"I am rubber you are glue what bounces off me sticks to you."

"I'm going to bed and i suggest you do too and sleep off some of that booze you ingested you'll probably get alcohol poisoning from all you just drank."

"See i told you, you cared for me!"

"Granger, how many times do i have to say it? I am simply concerned for your health, you know what no i'm not really do what ever you want you stupid mudblood," and he turned to walk to his room. I stood and took his wrist in my hand spinning him around to face me pulling his face closer and closer to mine. He kissed me back full of passion he had kept inside that he had wanted to release onto my lips.

"I told you, you still love me," I breathed once we broke off the steamy kiss.

"Yeah," he breathed onto my lips, "But i can't love you and I can't look back this is how is has to be.

_Never look back we said how was I to know I'd miss you so,_

_Loneliness up ahead emptiness behind where do i go?_

_and you couldn't hear all my joy through my fear,_

_all my hope through my tears did you know?_

_Still I miss you so much._

Draco sat on his lounge and lit a joint but the thoughts of me would not erase themselves from my memory.

_From the bottom of my broken heart,_

_There's just a think that i want you to know._

_You were my first love, you were my true love_

_From the very first kisses to the very last rose._

"She was drunk," he told himself over and over again, "she didn't know what she was doing. He forced himself to believe this.

_From the bottom of my broken heart,_

_Even if time may find me somebody knew._

_You were my real love I never knew love,_

_till there was you,_

_From the bottom of my broken heart._

I brushed my lips with my finger and remembered his soft lips savagely fighting for dominance over mine causing a warm sensation to fill my stomach.

_Baby I said please stay, _

_Give our love a chance for one more day,_

_We could have worked things out,_

_Taking time is what love's all about_

I didn't really like Malfoy did I? That would just be stupid.

_But you put a dart through my dreams through my heart,_

_And i'm back where i started again._

_Never thought it would end._

Draco felt all his emotions begin to bubble to the surface like an overheated cauldron but he tried to squash them like turning down the fire but the fire kept heating hotter and hotter till he could not help his emotions and he put his head in his hands and cried.

_From the bottom of my broken heart,_

_There's just a think that i want you to know._

_You were my first love, you were my true love_

_From the very first kisses to the very last rose._

_From the bottom of my broken heart,_

_Even if time may find me somebody knew._

_You were my real love I never knew love,_

_till there was you,_

_From the bottom of my broken heart._

I walked to the door and raised my hand to knock but at the last minute i chickened out and slumped my back to the door to the ground and put my head in my hands and cried.

_You promised yourself,_

_but to somebody else._

_And you made it so perfectly clear,_

_still i wish you were here_

Draco stood and went to open the door. He stood there for a few minutes trying to think of what to say and how to apologize but he could not find away and he chickened out and leant his back to the door and slumped to the floor.

_From the bottom of my broken heart,_

_There's just a think that i want you to know._

_You were my first love, you were my true love_

_From the very first kisses to the very last rose._

_From the bottom of my broken heart,_

_Even if time may find me somebody knew._

_You were my real love I never knew love,_

_till there was you,_

_From the bottom of my broken heart._


	17. Oh Hermoine

Chapter Seventeen

Oh Hermoine!

I had already awoken the next morning finding myself in Malfoy's hallway I made my way back to my own comfortable bed my head throbbing and my vision blurry not to mention the pricing ache in my side.

A week later Malfoy lit a joint and passed it to Pansy Parkinson the other school slut. She kissed his cheek as he lit another joint to smoke for himself the only thing causing him to scream at Parkinson to get off of him. They were in the common room playing wizard chess and she was constantly trying to make out with him, which he to an extent let her. Parkinson picked up a glass of passion pop and gulped the foul liquid that tasted a mix between passion fruit soft drink and mentholated spirits and smiled.

"Yum." Malfoy shuddered at her taste and couldn't believe she could like the foul concoction that tasted worse than polyjuice potion.

"Pawn to E5," he sighed.

"What's the matter babe?" Parkinson asked confused in her annoying high-pitched Barbie bimbo like voice.

"Just bored is all."

"I know something to keep up occupied," she slid up next to him blowing smoke into his face.

"No Pansy, I don't want to sleep with you out of boredom."

"All right," she sooked, "You know there are heaps of guys who want this," she gestured towards her disgustingly out of proportion body over her odd shaped breasts and her cellulite infected thighs that boys only slept with because they knew she was easy, "why not?"

"I just told you why not Parkinson. Are you deaf as well as blind and stupid?"

"I think there is more to it than that." Just as she said this i walked to the portal. I had started going to see a therapist once a week to talk about my problems and slowly i was weaning myself off the Jim Beam only drinking socially and never out of pity.

"Just shut it Pansy and move a piece, you're so damn slow." I rolled my eyes and walked past them. Malfoy was now dating Parkinson and they seemed to do nothing but fight. Of course i found this rather amusing.

_It's been seven hours and fifteen days, since you took your love away,_

_I go out every night and sleep all day, since you took your love away._

_Since you've been gone I can do whatever i want, I can see whom ever i choose._

_I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant, but nothing can take away these blues,_

_Cause nothing compares, Nothing compares to you._

I could feel Malfoy's eyes following me as i made my way across the room when i finally shut the door behind me Parkinson couldn't help but open her mouth.

_it's been so lonely here, like a bird without a song,_

_Nothing can stop these lonely tears from fallin tell me baby where did I go wrong?_

_I could put my arms around every boy i see, They'd only remind me of you_

_I went to the doctor and guess what he told me guess what he told me,_

_He said girl you gotta try to have fun no matter what I do, But he's a fool._

_Cause nothing compares, Nothing compares to you._

"Stupid mudblood," Parkinson seethed, "try steal my Drakinibbles," she muttered under her breath not thinking that both Malfoy and I could hear her and it was everything i could do not to laugh at her pet name for Malfoy who was staring longingly at my door but quickly snapped out of it hearing Parkinson mumbling and grumbling. He put his arms around Parkinson and kissed her lips.

"I'm sorry baby," he told her, "but sex should be special."

"Ok then," she sighed. Just as i left the sanctuary of my room they kissed again.

"Don't try play god guys, I don't think a pig and a ferret would go well together," i laughed as i went to get a plain glass of coke.

_All the flowers you planted for me, in the back yard all died when you went away,_

_I know that living with you baby was sometimes hard, but i'm willing to give it another try._

_Nothing compares to you._

_Nothing compares to you._

_Nothing compares to you._

_Nothing compares to you._

_Nothing compares to you._

_Nothing compares to you._

Malfoy scowled at me as i walked past him and his precious slut into the library to practice my piano and singing while drinking coke and smoking joints. I knew Draco didn't love Parkinson but it didn't help the lump of jealousy in my stomach that i hid with nasty comments and relaxed attitude. After the encounter with me Malfoy decided out of spite he would take things further with Parkinson hoping to gain my attention.

"Oh Draco," she squealed as he cupped her breast in his hand. He flicked his tongue over her nipple and she moaned in delight, which sounded more like a squealing pig and a squeal of ecstasy. She pulled him down so her whole body was pressing against hers.

"Draco...?" she said puffing and panting heavily.

"Yes Pansy?" he also breathed heavily only faking his pleasure.

"I love you."

"I love you too," he lied. he knew he would have to sleep with her now and the thought alone made him feel sick.

_Coming out of my cage and i'll be doin just fine,_

_Gotta Gotta be down because i want it all,_

_It started off with a kiss how did it end up like this,_

_It was only a kiss, It was only a kiss._

_Now she's falling asleep and I'm calling a cab,_

_while he's having a smoke and she's taking a drag,_

_now they're going to bed _

_and my stomach i sick but its all in my head,_

_But she's touching his chest now _

_He takes off her dress now, _

_letting me go._

_I just can't look it's killing me, and taking control._

I heard her moaning and jealousy almost consumed me. i was no idiot i had made similar but not so disgusting noises with him myself once. It didn't surprise me but it still hurt.

_Jealousy, turning facing to the sea,_

_Twirling love sick lullaby,_

_Choking on your alibi,_

_Pride is just the price i pay,_

_destiny is calling me,_

_open up your eager eyes,_

_I'm Mr. Brightside._

Malfoy brushed his hand up her thigh. This wasn't right in his mind he was picturing the long and elegant legs of Hermoine Granger and not the short stubby and already spread legs of Parkinson.

_Coming out of my cage and i'll be doin just fine,_

_Gotta Gotta be down because i want it all,_

_It started off with a kiss how did it end up like this,_

_It was only a kiss, It was only a kiss._

_Now she's falling asleep and I'm calling a cab,_

_while he's having a smoke and she's taking a drag,_

_now they're going to bed _

_and my stomach i sick but its all in my head,_

_But she's touching his chest now _

_He takes off her dress now, _

_letting me go._

_I just can't look it's killing me, and taking control._

Malfoy lifted Parkinson's terribly short skirt that really didn't need lifting and pulled her underwear to the side. Parkinson was busy rubbing him to get him ready for her not knowing that while she was doing so all he could think about was me. When he was ready she pulled him out of his pants.

_Jealousy, turning facing to the sea,_

_Twirling love sick lullaby,_

_Choking on your alibi,_

_Pride is just the price i pay,_

_destiny is calling me,_

_open up your eager eyes,_

_I'm Mr. Brightside._

"Oh Hermoine!" he groaned loudly as he entered her. In the library I heard this and i was on the floor rolling around in stitches. That was terribly priceless and i wished i could see the look on Parkinson's face.

Unfortunately Malfoy could see her face and even though it was not pretty to start with when she was mad she was definitely trying to put Medusa to shame.

"What did you call me?" Parkinson snapped at him, "you better not have just said that mud blood's name!" she pulled back her hand and slapped him hard. She pushed him off of her and rearranged her clothes so she was somewhat covered, though in clothes like hers decency was hard to come by. "Explain yourself Draco!"

_I never! I never! I never! I never!_

"Pansy I'm sorry it was an accident!"

"People don't say things in the heat of the moment that they normally don't mean! You're a bad liar Draco, why her?"

"Pansy please it only happened once and it was way before we were going out!"

"What happened... Oh no you didn't Draco!" he went bright red displaying his guilt, which was obviously hard to hide after his major slip up.

"You slept with that mudblood bitch? I mean who hasn't i heard she really gets around after Potter died." Draco took her by her shoulders and shook her violently.

"You take that back!" he yelled at her.

"So you're defending her now are you?" she slapped him again but this time harder.

"It was after the Valentines Ball and it was a mistake okay? We were both confused and lonely and it was a mistake! I swear i would never touch her filthy skin again and that's the truth." My insides turned to ice and i didn't want to over hear anymore of this argument after this statement.

"You're a bad liar Draco," Parkinson looked at him tears in her eyes as she whispered meekly to him.

"I know," he whispered back and gave her a hug.

I ran from the sanctuary of my library to my room sobbing and slamming the door behind me. I threw myself onto my bed and screamed into my pillow not even bothering to silence my room. I wanted him to hear the pain he had caused me and i hoped it cut him like a hot knife through butter as his words had done to me.

"You better go talk to her," Pansy sniffed and then she left.


	18. Sorry Doesn't Cut It

Chapter Eighteen

Sorry doesn't cut it

Draco knocked on my door softly.

"Fuck the hell off ferret boy!" i yelled back to his constant and annoying tapping. I picked up my wand and waved it at the door charming it to lock. He tried to open it to no avail and tried to unlock it again to no avail. His magic could never beat mine. He tried once more and then there was nothing but silence after that.

I put my head back onto my pillow relieved that he had left me alone when the door to the hallway leading to our separate bathrooms opened and Malfoy walked in aggravating me to know that no matter how i tried i could never have peace and that he would not leave me be.

"What do you want asshole i thought i told you to fuck off!" i cursed like a sailor.

"To say I'm sorry," was his weak reply to my weaker question.

"I tried to say I'm sorry and you didn't listen to me. I'm not going to sit here and listen to your contradicting bullshit. All right?"

"How can you do this?" he questioned me this time.

"How can I do What Malfoy?" i responded with another question quickly.

"How can you pretend like what we did never happened because I'm finding it fucking difficult? You don't want me fine; you don't want to be my friend fine. So how can you act like this after sticking your nose into my business telling another person what you've been telling yourself all along? This is what you wanted isn't it for us to be a mistake? You said it yourself it was a mistake the whole thing was a fucking mistake!" he ranted and raved at me furious at my drama queen behavior.

"That which does not kill me makes me stronger Malfoy! Listen to yourself! It was **YOUR IDEA** to help me! You made this mistake! If you had not come to me and stuck **YOUR NOSE** in my business this would never have had to happen!"

"As you keep pointing out! It's my entire fault! Well it takes two to tango Granger or are you afraid to admit your are not perfect?" his anger got the best of him as did mine and i pushed him backwards causing him to fall onto my couch.

"You're the one to speak to me what about your sister Malfoy huh? Ever think that if you told someone she existed before the did what they did to her she might have lived?"

"You leave her out of this i never once brought up potter!"

"Yeah what about Harry huh? What about what you did to Harry? Proud of that Malfoy? He paid for his mistake with his life! What is your punishment for your mistakes? For my mistakes? It went to far Malfoy! Harry is dead! I forgave him for what he did to me but you! I'll never forgive you ferret now get out!"

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know,_

_Please don't say your sorry,_

_I heard it all before and I can take care of myself._

_I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know,_

_Please don't say forgive me,_

_I've seen it all before and I can't take it anymore._

_You're not half the man you think you are_

_Save your words because you've gone too far_

_and listen to your lies and all your stories,_

_You're not half the man you'd like to be._

_I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know,_

_Please don't say your sorry,_

_I heard it all before and I can take care of myself._

_I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know,_

_Please don't say forgive me,_

_I've seen it all before and I can't take it anymore._

_Don't explain yourself cause talk is cheap,_

_There's more important things than hearing you speak._

_You stay because i made it so convenient_

_Don't explain yourself you'll never see_

_I'm Sorry, I'm Sorry_, _I'm Sorry_

_I'm Sorry_, _I'm Sorry,I'm Sorry_

_Forgive me._

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know,_

_Please don't say your sorry,_

_I heard it all before and I can take care of myself._

_I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know,_

_Please don't say forgive me,_

_I've seen it all before and I can't take it anymore._

_I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know,_

_Please don't say your sorry,_

_I heard it all before and I can take care of myself._

_I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know,_

_Please don't say forgive me,_

_I've seen it all before and I can't take it anymore._

_I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know, (Don't explain yourself cause talk is cheap)_

_Please don't say your sorry,(There's more important things than hearing you speak)_

_I heard it all before and I can take care of myself._

_I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know,_

_Please don't say forgive me,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

Malfoy just stayed there on the couch staring at me still as a stone.

"Hermoine, Don't..." He begged breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"Don't you Hermoine don't me Malfoy now get the hell out!" i bellowed.

"No I won't," he said his voice calm and collected

"Then I'll make you," i raised my wand.

"Don't you dare you try hex me and i swear I'll break it."

"Petrificus..." he snatched the wand from my hand, "Hey!"

"I won't let you!"

"You and what army?"

"Me and this army," he retorted before snapping my wand. Now there are few things that get me mad, snapping my wand would definitely be at the top of my list just before burning books.

"You'd better replace that," I tried to keep my voice from wavering as anger bubbled to the surface.

"I will if you behave like an adult for once and not some spoilt two year old child. I curled my hand into a fist and king hit him. He went down like a lead balloon and i dragged his heavy ass into his room and left him on the floor. Just for Karma, i pulled his wand from his pocket and snapped it. it wasn't like either of us couldn't afford new ones anyway.


	19. A Pleasant Suprise

Chapter Nineteen

A pleasant surprise.

I awoke the next morning to find my wand replaced outside my door. I made my way t the kitchen and stretched whilst making a coffee. Once again, Malfoy was nowhere in sight so i decided to go to the Great Hall for breakfast. It was the second last day of the year so the entire seventh year had the day off as all of our exams were over. as always for the past seven years, i searched out my remaining best friend and made my way over to hug my red haired friend.

"To think we will never see this place again after tomorrow," I sighed, "well unless we have kids and they are accepted into here. Tonight is the Graduation ceremony and tomorrow the ball and then it is back to life at the burrow. Any ideas what you want to do post Hogwarts?"

"Harry bless his soul," Ron began, "and I were going to become an Auror. So that's what I'm going to do. How about you Hermoine?"

"I don't know never really thought about it, Hogwarts is the only thing I've really ever known for the last seven years, i don't know how I will'll cope without it."

"Miss Granger," the sharp voice of Mc Gonagall made me jump.

"Yes Professor?" I looked up nervously. I was scared that Malfoy had told someone i had knocked him out but when i really thought about it i erased the idea from my mind knowing fully well he would never tell anyone lest his precious pride be damaged. I started to rack my brain for things i had done. 'I didn't do it and if i did I'm sorry!" i blurted out before i could stop myself.

"What didn't you do Miss Granger? I would hate to see a bad mark so soon to graduation." Her face was still stern as she spoke but her eyes twinkled and i knew she was having a game with me.

"What ever I am in trouble for." She smiled as i said this knowing i had caught onto her game.

"Dear no pet, you're not in trouble but i have something for you," and she handed me a letter alike the day of Harry's funeral but with the Hogwarts crest upon it. Inside i found a letter addressed to me with McGonagall's signature on the bottom.

_To Miss Hermoine Granger,_

_ It is my proud honor to offer you a position here at Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft And Wizardry to learn to teach Transfiguration and tutor students. You will be provided accommodation on premises all year round including the summer as well as all meals and a generous salary. Please respond when you are ready._

_Signed Sincerely,_

_Minerva McGonagall._

I had almost hit Ron in my excitement and hugged him in sheer joy as i squealed with happiness.

"What is it Hermoine?" Ron asked confused. I handed him the letter and watched as his smile grew wider and wider with each line. When he was finished, it was his turn to almost hit me. He hauled me off my chair and wrapped his arms around me lifting me from the ground. For a split second, i missed the other slice of bread that used to make a sandwich like me but i was soon content with just being butter on toast. i knew in my heart Harry would have been proud of this achievement.

"Blimey Hermoine! Well done Harry would have been so proud of you!" he spoke my thoughts for me, "You always were super good at explaining things and transfiguration was always your best subject. Congratulations i believe celebrations would be in order?"

"Don't get too far ahead of yourself! Celebrating is for later tonight after we all graduate and besides i haven't replied yet!"

"What are you waiting for Christmas?" he pushed me towards the front desk and nodded his head in the direction when i looked back at him. I practically skipped to the teachers table.

"Professor I have your reply," she looked at me pride all over her giant smile.

"Well Miss Granger we haven't got all day besides i can't stand the suspense!"

"Yes Professor, thank you professor for this opportunity you have no idea how much this means to me and i promise i won't let you down."

"Miss Granger you'd be surprised, i have been looking for an heir since i was given this place in very much the same fashion you were and you are the first person i have deemed worthy of it. You are the brightest student Hogwarts has seen since my year and that student was myself. I admit your grades have slipped a fraction this year some unknown reason but you still came out on top... you'll be surprised how far on top actually. When I retire, i wish for it to be you taking my place. You may take the summer off and start next year. I look forward to see you again Miss Granger, I must go now, have a nice day." She walked past me and then turned around to remind me of one last thing.

"Oh and Hermoine the name is Minerva no longer professor McGonagall. So long professor Granger... I mean Hermoine.

We graduated that night in front of all of our parents and I had unbelievably scored out standings on all of my O.W.L.S even though Minerva had said my grades have slipped and ron not far behind me received two out standings and one extraordinary. After finally ridding ourselves of our parents, I looked at Ron who was positively glowing and mouthed "Champagne my dorm," and stuck up ten fingers indicating to meet me in ten minutes. This time i literally skipped with joy down the great hall. I had now finished my studies and had a job.

Ron was talking to Mona when i had arrived.

"Congratulations Hermoine," she hooted, "I have reason to believe you will be working here next year and even more news that you will be keeping this dorm as well!"

"Indeed I am and that is excellent news."

"Yes and isn't it great young Draco also received a position alike yours with Snape?" My stomach sunk i would be spending my life stuck with Malfoy in this castle.

"Yes in fact he and some friends are inside celebrating as we speak."

"Fantastic," I retorted sarcastically, "Asti." and with that she opened so we could enter the party zone. When she had said a few friends, she really should have said our entire grade and it wasn't hard to mingle. I pulled out three bottles of Riccadonna out from amongst the passion pop and rounded up Ron and Neville into my room where we shared the expensive, sweet and excellent quality champagne i had saved for this night though the third bottle was for Harry I happily shared it with Neville pouring three glasses for us all.

"To Professor Hermoine Granger and Professor Draco Malfoy may they never get along!" Ron lifted his glass in a toast.

"Mine's better!"

"What could be better than mine? Very simple and straight to the point," i faked a yawn and he batted me with one of the cushions form the lounge.

"To seven amazing years, filled with adventure and many more to come! To three amazing Gryffindor boys that made me and each of us complete. To Books and Gryffindor, but most of all to Neville, to Harry and to you Ron," and with that everyone outside popped their head in and called "Hear Hear!" Ron looked like he was about to cry.

"Cheers!" the entire grade raised their drinks and drank.

We talked all night about Harry and it calmed me to think of him as the kind warm figure wrapped himself around me when i felt at my lowest and not the snarling figure plundering my body of its rights. I had forgiven him of his sins and prayed that he rest in peace. We finished off the three bottles making crazy spur of the moment toasts until finally we had to go to bed. Tomorrow night was the ball and the night after that we would be going home.

I dreaded having to go with Malfoy but i would drop him as soon as I could. Tomorrow would change my life forever in every single perspective, it would never be what it once was the year I stepped into this school seven years ago eleven years old an already brighter than a fourth year. I never Imagined my life would be like this.


	20. For You to Notice Me

Chapter Twenty

For You To Notice Me

Malfoy paced nervously in the common room waiting impatiently for me. When I finally walked out, he stopped breathing i believe. Dressed completely in white I was amazed that we matched. My dress reaching my feet where again i was wearing my glass slippers. It had no straps and my hair was curly and loose around my shoulders a white and silver ribbon tied in a band around my head alike to Alice in Wonderland's. In his hand, he held a white Magnolia. he tied the corsage to my wrist loosely and we walked in silence to the great hall. I felt relieved but saddened i thought that this would probably be the last chance i had to reconcile with him and no matter how badly i wanted to say something I just could not find the words to say to him.

We walked quietly into the hall together and after fulfilling our traditional first dance parted ways quickly.

"Blimey Hermoine, you look better every time we have some of these shindigs," Ron embraced me tightly.

"Yeah but this will be the last that we'll all attend together."

"Don't remind me," Ron grimaced.

"You look nice Ron where's the date?"

"Here's your butterbeer Ronnibubbles," Neville said as if on cue passing him a butterbeer with a wink.

"Thanks Nevillepettle," he replied blushing into his butterbeer.

"Ronnibubbles? Nevillepettle?" i asked raising an eyebrow at their ridiculous pet nicknames as Neville passed me a butterbeer.

'Don't ask. Would you like a little nip in your butterbeer?" he answered brandishing a small flask full of fire whiskey.

"I'll think I'll pass thanks," i declined politely.

Malfoy stood nervously alone trying to decide if he should come and talk to me. Just as he plucked up the courage, a new guy would come along as ask me to dance and even though some persisted i always declined happy to sit with my best friend and his date, dashing his courage, of course not were slytherin were known for. This time when Blaise Zambini asked me to dance with him i looked past him and caught Malfoy staring uncomfortably. He held my gaze and finally i could not hold it any longer and i looked away blushing. I told Blaise i was flattered but preferred not to dance, as I had no energy after last night's party. I did not notice nor did i count on Ron catching the momentary glance between Malfoy and I and god bless his soul decided to take Neville for a turn on the dance floor.

Ron danced his way over to Malfoy not thinking i had noticed and nudged him though i did not hear what he had whispered to him I could get the idea.

"You know that's she's waiting for you to ask her to dance again and if you know her like I do you'll know she doesn't like to wait and after a while she'll just stop waiting. Who knows with summer coming some guy might sweep her off her feet and she might let him and then she will just throw away real love... Malfoy don't give me that look i saw the way you took look at each other there is an electric connection there.. anyway, as I was saying, she will throw real love away to just wear a mask and pretend to be happy and if she has to wear that mask all her life, she will just crack one day and I do not know how I will cope when she cracks. She has been my rock since year one. Go take a chance Malfoy." Ron encouraged, "You'll never get a chance like right now."

Plucking up all his courage Malfoy finally made his way over to me.

"May I have this dance?" I sat there silent for a moment calculating my answer in my head.

"You mean Ron spent all that time talking to you and that's the best you got?"

"Just shut up and dance with me Granger."

"All right all right, gees didn't anyone ever tell you patience is a virtue?" He bowed low to me as i curtsied.

_See the stone set in your eyes_

_See the thorn twist in your side_

_I wait for you_

I danced silently until finally he spoke to me.

"Hermoine what can i do to make it up to you? To prove how much you really mean to me?"

"Malfoy you already know, i have told you before. I need to trust you; i need to know how you feel."

"Dammnit Hermoine I've already told you how I feel."

"But why Malfoy? I need to know why me? Off all the girls why me? I can't make it cause i know you're going to hurt me again and don't say you wont Malfoy because i know you will. I just can't do us."

"Please Hermoine he took my hand as i had begun to walk away, "give me one chance, until midnight, if i can't trust me and you don't know why by then, I'll let you go. I just don't know if i could ever be without you!"

_Slight of hand and twist of fate_

_On a bed of nails, she makes me wait_

_And I wait without you_

"Can I think about it?"

"Sure," he let my arm go and went and got himself a pumpkin juice before going to stand alone outside as the clock struck ten.

_With or without you_

_With or without you_

_I can't live_

_With or without you_

Once Malfoy had gone outside i helped myself to another butterbeer and sat down to think.

'You really love him don't you?'  
'Shut up brain... Hang on even my brain agrees?'

'Harry would have wanted this.'

'but i can just hate him so much sometimes.'

'but what is love without hate to make you see the love you have?'

'Oh great I'm arguing with myself this Malfoy is making me crazy.'

'Don't deny him the chance if it doesn't work you can get on with your life without ever having to think what if?'

'Sounds reasonable.'

'Then what are you waiting for? go over there give him his chance.'

'patience is a virtue he made me wait now i will make him wait.'

'Do it now!"

'shut up brain i give the orders around here'

'oh really?' it asked sarcastically like it didn't believe me... get that my own brain didn't believe me.

'yes now shut up.'

'yes madam.'

_Through the storm we reach the shore_

_You give it all but I want more_

_And I'm waiting for you_

Malfoy stood outside gazing at the stars and the moon trying to think of how to win my heart when he realized he had known all along and she had told him long ago repeatedly how to win her heart. Apart from that he decided to play it by ear.

I waited until the clock had stuck 11 before i made my way towards him.

"Have you reached a decision?" he asked me as i approached.

"Yes Malfoy, you have an hour to convince me."

"Accio broom," i raised my eyebrows as his firebolt 07 made its way towards him.

"i hate flying," i stated the obvious;" I've told you that."

"if i have to gain your trust you must give me a little of it."

_With or without you_

_With or without you_

_I can't live_

_With or without you_

"All right then," I got on the broom and held on tightly. Malfoy got on behind me and put his hands on top of mine.

"Loosen up a little, i can't control this if you try and steer it with that death grip trust me." I loosened my grip as told, "thanks that's heaps better." I felt my feet lift off the ground and i sealed my eyes shut tightly until finally we came to a stop in mid air.

"You can open your eyes now, you're safe, and I won't let you fall." Slowly i pried one eye open and then gradually the other until i was staring wide eyed at the breathtaking scene before me.

_And you give yourself away _

_And you give yourself away _

_And you give And you give _

_And you give yourself away_

"It doesn't matter what you do for a living,

i want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your hearts longing.

It doesn't interest me to know how old you are,

I want to know if you will risk looking a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon,

I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and cold from fear of further pain.

i want to know if you can sit with sorrow, mine and your own without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine and your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true,

I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusations of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty everyday and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failures, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver moon "Yes!"

it doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have,

I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done and feed the children.

It doesn't interest me where you live or how you came to be here,

I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied,

I want to know what sustains you form the inside when all else fades away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments," He whispered into my ear as we floated about the school alight with students celebrating some never returning and others returning the next year for their final year and others who would return for many more.

_My hands are tied My body bruised, _

_she's got me with Nothing to win and _

_Nothing left to lose_

"Hermoine I love you because even when i was shouting no one ever heard me, no one ever listened they were all clones who behaved how they are told to behave not to like who they were told not to like and to like who they were told to like. No one noticed me out of all these clones. You broke down those boundaries for me, for **ME!** The ferret, son of a death eater who called you mudblood and made your life uncomfortable. I knew like i knew no one else and you were the one person that society said i should have never known. I can't help but admire your courage and your strength and your will to carry on when everything seems so hopeless. If I told you all of the reasons why I love you, we would be here for decades even centuries. I just know i love you because you noticed me when no one else did."

_And you give yourself away _

_And you give yourself away _

_And you give _

_And you give _

_And you give yourself away_

_With or without you_

_With or without you_

_I can't live_

_With or without you_

_With or without you_

_With or without you_

_I can't live_

_With or without you_

_With or without you _

I was stunned to silence in an hour Malfoy had figured out exactly how to put his heart on the line. We floated there in silence the only thing that told us the difference between the stars in the sky and the stars on the ground was gravity and he held me tight not once letting me fall.

"We should be getting back i said finally." I couldn't help this nagging feeling inside of me that i would only get hurt again but the whole way back not once did i shut my eyes and the world went past as if a blur until finally my feet were back on solid ground.

"Malfoy..."

"Yes Hermoine." He looked so hopeful but so devastated as though he already knew what o was about to say.

"Ever since that first day this year you noticed me but i never really noticed you and i never thought about why you acted this way and I feel so sorry about your sister and your parents and your entire life and i just wish it could have been better and most of all i wish i could make it all better with a flick of my wand but i know there is nothing i can do to make it better no matter how much i wish it to be so."

"Hermoine?"

"I'm sorry, so sorry Malfoy." He looked at me and he looked torn between love, honour, and pride. He did not want to betray his word t me but he was willing to risk looking a fool for love. He looked at the clock frantic.

"I have five more minutes."

"Why waste the time Malfoy."

"Cause every second with you is precious five last minutes with you that is all i ask. Please give me these last five minutes of your time."

"Well i guess i did say until 12."

I allowed Malfoy to lead me to the dance floor and wrapped me in his arms.

_I'm starting to fashion an idea in my head_

_where I would impress you_

_with every single word I said._

_Would come out insightful or brave or smooth or charming_

_and you'd want to call me_

The only sounds i could hear was the music and his voice singing the words softly against the beating of his heart. He looked at her and it was clear in his mind and no matter how tacky it may seem he had to say he had to tell her how he really felt inside and the passion she ignited in him.

_And I would be there every time_

_you'd need me_

_I'd be there every time..._

Hermoine, you make my hands shake and leave me speechless with a single look. All i know was when I was screaming and no one heard, you noticed me. You heard it loud and clear. You listened and you learned. I love that you are always learning and well love can hurt you sometimes but would never leave you. I always thought my life never had a purpose but now i know that my purpose in life is you. And if you could notice me before I am begging you to notice me again.

'He has a good argument.'

'I thought i told you to shut up?'

'If you let this man go you'll be miserable for the rest of your life just tell him how you feel!' My hands were sweaty and my pulse raced. Dared I risk my pride for love?

_But for now I'll look so longingly_

_waiting..._

_For you to want me, for you to need me, for you to notice me_

"You take my breath away just by breathing yourself and so long as you breathe and so much longer after that I will always love you." The clock struck twelve and Malfoy looked at me anxiously.

_I'm starting to fashion an idea in my head_

_where I would impress you_

_with every single word I said._

_Would come out insightful or brave or smooth or charming_

_and you'd want to call me_

Slowly i inched my face towards him and shut my eyes as he did the same to me and ever so slowly our faces came ever closer our breath mingling with the others.

_And I would be there every time_

_You'd need me_

_I'd be there every time..._

"I love you Malfoy now cut the crap and kiss me already," I whispered onto his lips.

"I love you too Granger." Then he put his arm around my waist before finally he pulled his lips in to meet mine.

Ronnibubbles raised his hand and brought them together in celebration of the couple finally finding love letting go of their pasts, and their pride to give love a try. Before long the whole room was filled with applause including slytherin many of the girls wiping a tear from their eyes at the romantic love story.

Finally, we breathed for air but never did he let me go.

"Do you wanna go and check out our dorm for one last visit as students?" i asked with a wink of my own. His face looked bewildered at my proposal.

"Are you for real?" he looked at me as if i was crazy. I nodded my head and pulled him out of the Great Hall and into our future together.

The End!


	21. Soundtrack and Letter From The Author

FOR YOU TO NOTICE ME

Soundtrack

You can get all this Music from me Just send me an e-mail the song by Jase E is incredibly hard to find as it is one of mine so I will happily send you this music or if you like I will burn you a cd and mail it to you at no cost to you!

So here it is the Soundtrack For you to Notice me and just so you know instead of writing an epilogue I will be writing another story to cover the ending of this story called My Happily Ever After! Stay Tuned guys and don't forget to read my other stories and ideas and tell me what you think! Thanks to everyone who reviewed for being so kind and those who gave me constructive criticism I really appreciate it and I beg you if you liked these please read my other stories and check out my page and tell me what you think of ideas I am always open to ideas and **constructive** criticism! Please read **10 ways to kill Draco Malfoy** by **Drakulya** it is my favourite and I assure you you will love it just like me!

So I just think I have said all that needs to be said to conclude this story thank you so much for reading even if you don't review I hope you enjoyed it

Lots Of Love

Perfect Butterfly Blade

Jase E- Oh Love

Kate Derouge- Maybe Tonight

Avril Lavigne- Fall To Pieces

Placebo-Every me Every You

James Blunt-Goodbye My lover

Missy Higgins-Sound Of White

DHT- Listen to your heart

Something For Kate- You Only Hide

Missy Higgins- Dancing Dirt Into The Snow

Fuel- Falls On Me

Kelly Clarkson- Behind these Hazel Eyes

Simple Plan- How Could This Happen To Me

Blessed Union Of Souls- Peace and Love

Cosima De Vito- When The War Is Over

Ben Lee- Gamble Everything For Love

Britney Spears- From the Bottom Of My Broken Heart

Sinead O Connor- Nothing Compares To You

The Killers- Mr Brightside

Maddonna- Sorry

U2- With Or Without You

Dashboard Confessional- For You To Notice Me


	22. Your Take Home Copy Of the Whole Story!

Chapter One

Home is where you hat sits

It was a bright shiny day. Not a cloud in the sky, but I wished there were. It felt odd that the sun could be so shiny and bright when I felt around me my entire world crumble. I pulled my bag over my shoulder and walked out of the door my feet pounding the pavement like my heart pounding in my chest. I was so mad. My parents... They didn't understand how could they? I'd made a mistake but they didn't have to do this. Just because they caught me smoking pot they decided that they could just put me on the street like that I worked for my money to buy it. It was so I could mellow out and not stress. I never had to stress to much about homework though, I had such a lack of a social life that all I really did was study. No one wants to hang out with the smart girl. But I also worked at the local muggle cinemas on my breaks from school. My parents kept most of my money from work. I saved most of what they didnt take for my books for school and spent the rest on transport and food.

There was only a few days until the train left for Hogwarts so I decided to see if I could visit the Weasley family. Maybe Harry would be there. The Dursleys had kicked Harry out and he now stayed at the Weasley's who were pretty relaxed about smoking pot as it was legal for wizards and they all did it too.

I waited in the local park and smoked a joint while I waited till dark to call the knight bus. I didn't like hailing it in the day and I didnt think you could during the day anyway. Muggles and all that. I watched the kids play and then leave and finally watched the last ray of sun slip into the darkness and the stars started to twinkle. I stuck out my hand and hailed the bus.

I caught the bus until I reached a few meters from the Burrow and walked towards the bright window the happy family behind them. All of a sudden it started to rain.

"Just my luck," I thought, "almost there and it rains!" I pulled my bag over my head and ran. When I got there I opened the door and felt a warm glow come to my face. My safe haven.

"Look at you girl, your soaked to your skin!" Mrs Weasley shrieked not even being polite enough to say a hello. She pulled out her wand and dired me off with a quick flick. Then she ran over and hugged me enveloping me in her warm arms.

"How have you been pet?" she asked kindly. I broke into tears into her arms.

"Mum... D...D...Dad kick...kicked me...me out... they found out I... I... was smoking.. p..p...pot," I stuttered into her arms...

"Shh pet you can stay here as long as you like... Everyone Hermoine is moving in with us." Everyone turned and stared, I've never been so embarrassed. Bookworm Hermoine smokes pot and gets kicked out of home so much for her squeaky clean image. I was supposed to be head girl this year too. Harry wandered over to me his eyes glazed.

"Hey Hermoine, so happy to see you, would you like a joint?" he handed me a small white stick. He stuck out his wand. "And there was light." fire flew from te end of his wand lighting the joint. He took a drag and passed it to me. "It's pretty good stuff." I smiled and took the joint from him inhaling deeply. Then everything was mellow.

"Would you like something to eat?' Mrs Weasley asked setting a place before I could answer. I sat down and started to eat heartedly munchies taking hold of me.

After dinner i sat on the couch with Harry and Ron infront of the fire. We talked about everything and anything. Thats why we were so close and such good friends. I sat between ron and Harry. After a few hours I yawned loudly. I put my head on Harry's shoulder and he put his arm around me.

"We better go to sleep we have school in the morning," I said putting away the chop bowl siscors and bong. We all retired to our room and before I knew it we were fast asleep.

Chapter Two:

A Shocking Revelation.

I woke early to the smell of bacon and garlic mushrooms my favorite breakfast. When I got downstairs everyone was already ready with the exception of Fred and George who had already graduated. Our trunks had been packet the night before and waited with our beloved pets to be taken to platform 9 and 3/4we ate quickly and made our way to the Weasley's new car a ford mustang convertible and before we knew it we were seated in our compartment.

It was only when Harry Ron and I were seated in our compartment when suddenly I remembered through my green haze that I Hermione granger was head girl.

"Hey guys," I laughed merrily, "I got so bent I had completely forgotten I was head girl!" Ron and Harry both got up and hugged me tight making a sandwich of me.

"Blimey well done Hermione!" Ron smiled finally releasing me from his grip of death. Harry kissed me on the cheek and also congratulated me.

"Well I have to meet Professor McGonagall in the head carriage, see you later boys!" I waved them off before they could see the color coming to my cheeks after Harry had kissed me.

"See Ya senorita!" they laughed in unison as they waved me off.

"Muchas gracias per favor!" I replied over my shoulders.

I walked to the head carriage as another wave of my stupidity had hit me, how was head boy? I snorted knowing all along whom it would be he was only the second smartest student at Hogwarts after me of course. He hated the fact I was smarter than him and when ever he called me mudblood I always made a point that I was smarter and far better at him at almost anything except flying of course but I was working on that one, but I could always say that I may be a mudblood but I'm smarter and a much better wizard than him and he knew he was only second place to me. He never had anything to say to that. I chuckled to myself at the thought of the fights to come and I wondered how far I could go without getting into trouble for making his beautiful blonde hair stand up on end like Einstein!

"laughing at yourself granger?" a nasty snarling voice mocked me with no sincerity, "I would have thought the whole school would do that enough behind your back without you contributing. The mudblood girl who loves the half blooded prince while he loves every other girl in school." was that a hint to boredom in his voice? Malloy never I dismissed the thought as the thought entered my mind. I opened the door and his voice paled yes actually paled (well more of a grayish tinge really) and walked in ignoring his sullen face and trudging feet as he flopped himself with no grace whatsoever onto the far end of the sofa far as possible away from me. His red swollen eyes made him look as though Draco Malfoy the king of slytherin had been crying his big blue eyes taking on a purple tinge.

"Whatever is with your eyes Mr. Malfoy? McGonagall asked receiving a dirty look from Snape who was standing as much as he could in the shadows behind her.

"It's none of your business but crying if you must know," He grumbled at the door, "and no I don't want to talk about it." He turned his face to hide his eyes as much as he could behind his bangs.

"very well," she replied curtly, "you two will be in charge of the patrolling roster with the prefects. The prefects are there to do ninety percent of your work you just have to plan everything. There is a Halloween ball a Yule tide and valentine's ball and anything else you wish to add to that, you are also in charge of when we take hogsmede trips and must meet with your prefects the first Friday of every month. We have listed all your responsibilities in here," she handed them each a book about the size of their heads; "You do not have to patrol the trains today as the prefects have already been administered rosters to do so. To get to your rooms you... oh the map is in the book of yours so just use that. You are free to go if you like but if you would prefer to you can stay here with us." Malfoy stood abruptly his book weighing him down significantly.

"I think I'll pass thank you," he muttered and shuffled himself out the door.

"That boy has been funny ever since what happened to his sister," McGonagall sighed as Snape went out to find something more interesting than two chatty Gryffindor girls. for a second I had not registered what she had said until it hit me she had been talking about Malfoy.

"wait Malfoy has a sister? I never knew that he has a sister."

"Had miss granger he had a sister." she corrected me.

"what happened?" I asked now stupid and curious about this tid bit of gossip on Master Draco Malfoy.

"I shouldn't have even told you that miss granger but now I have you must promise me you will keep this to yourself. I believe you can keep a secret cant you Miss Granger?" he blue eyes pierced into me like she was a laser and I was just a simple piece of aluminum tin foil...

"Yes Professor McGonagall," I swallowed nervously.

"Well it all started eighteen years ago when Lucius had just lost his sanity to the dark lord his wife and he has conceived a child. Unfortunately wizarding law dictates that the estate was to be left to the eldest child and in a pureblooded family it was unacceptable to have a first born daughter when you also have a son. So after he had his dark mark in place he found it out that his wife was carrying a girl and for two years he kept her inside to hide the pregnancy poor woman had no one to talk to about what she was about to go through anyway this girl was born and they hid her from the wizarding society sent her to a muggle school and raised her as a muggle with a completely different last name. I never found out what they called her but trust me Dumbledore and the rest of us knew of our exisistence and I only wish we had done something."

"About what get to the point," I tapped my toes an obvious itch of my irritation at the suspense and the waiting I had to do to get the truth of the story. I didn't expect the things she was about to say.

"Yes yes miss granger patience is a virtue." she rolled her eyes at my impatience and continued, "Well a year later young master Malfoy was born and so it meant that his sister could no longer exist but instead of doing then and there they waited until the summer just gone do commit such a grotesque crime."

"What happened damn it!" my patience was on a string now I wanted my imagination to stop running wild and I wanted to know the truth but before she had even told me I knew what she was talking about but still I had not anticipated the shock of true revelations.

"He would only ever let one person get close to him really honestly close to him and that was his sister so naturally he is furious as I would hope about what happened to her. You see his father and mother weren't much in the way of parent's cold and calculating to the last minute they did it for a reason I just wish I knew what it was. Miss granger sometime this summer mister Malfoy's sister was raped and murdered. Not many know of this except for the staff and none of the students and we don't want words leaked and if we hear a trace of a rumor I will follow you up understand? anyway in a way it was a blessing for Mister Malfoy no matter how hard he is taking it his father was sent to Azkaban for his crimes and the dark lord spares the children of the damned those who receive the dementors kiss it is the highest honor in his society, no matter the plans he had for Mister Malfoy he now has to give him pardon for his father's crime. Tea or Coffee?" she asked as if she had not said a word of Malfoy's predicament.

"No I suddenly don't feel all too thirsty but thank you anyway," I got up to leave my legs beneath me feeling like jelly.

"Cake?" She asked as I rose."

"No I am not particularly hungry either thank you. I think I should be finding my friends on patrol anyway."

"Remember Miss Granger not a word to a single soul breathing or not, not a word, you have to promise me this. Especially master Malfoy if he was to know that we know well honestly I'd be scared of the consequences as I should be of course."

"I promise," I turned and slid from the carriage, it would be hard to bite my tongue but if Malfoy could do it so could I and he had, had to endure so much over the summer that it would be dirty and low to go spreading this gossip all over school.

I went to find an empty carriage as the boys were patrolling the train after much debate Dumbledore had thankfully picked Ron as my replacement prefect because all the girls in my class were tramps who were never responsible enough for themselves let alone the rest of the students and Ron had actually been doing his own homework instead of copying mine in his own words and handwriting not to mention his maturity going through the roof! I had run into the boys on my way to an empty carriage and after insisting I had enough responsibility being head girl without having to help them with their job (Separating a pair of second year students who has managed to jinx themselves into Siamese twin hood) and leaving to get on with it a smile plastered all over my face.

After finally managing to find myself an empty carriage I pulled out my old worn copy or Piratica and started to read trying to ignoring the drama queen bawling in the carriage behind me. Finally it became too much and I had to tell the mystery sobber to shut up before they drowned in their own tears like Alice in wonderland would have if she hadn't been small enough to fit into the glass bottle. I opened the carriage to find Draco Malfoy to be the drowning drama queen sobbing his eyes more blood shot than before I was so surprised to see it was him that I walked to his side lifted up his chin and smacked him fair and square over the face. I couldn't tell anyone about what had happened to him over the summer but this would have been to priceless to keep to myself except for the fact that he was just sitting there staring at me, I figured he too was in shock.

"Leave Granger...please." If slapping him hadn't shocked me I actually fell on my ass when he said please.

"Wow Malfoy has manners who'd a thunk it?" but he didn't reply he just turned to stare out the window so I sat down and again pulled out my book just happy to be able to read in peace. We stayed like this until the train stopped. Even then I felt weird because Malfoy just stood and walked out without a word backwards and he had never had a comeback to my last nasty comment. I felt like the wizarding world as I had known it had been dropped on its head or something of the like now that Malfoy wasn't rude I didn't know how to be towards him.

I left the train to find Harry, Ron and Ginny all running for their carriage and I got there just in time laughing at Harry's head popped out the window looking for me and he waved me over as soon as he saw me.

"How'd you go with the ying yang twins?" I laughed.

"We had no idea how to fix it they are just going to have to stay that way until Dumbledore fixes them I'm glad we were never that stupid I mean impersonating Crabbe and Goyle was bad enough I would hate to be a Siamese twin!" Harry laughed sitting next to Ginny

"Who got head boy?" Ginny asked ever curious her beautiful eyes wide open with ever untold expression and wonder.

"Draco Malfoy," I slumped into my couch beside Ron dreading having to face the new weird guy at school. Even more was I would not be used to not being the weird one. I wasn't sure which was worse.

"Blimey Hermione, you poor thing," Ron put a brotherly arm around my shoulder to comfort me. I wrapped my arms around him hugging him with only a fraction of the force he had used against me earlier having no luck of making mince meat of him.

"You stoner Ronnikins," I giggled using his least favorite nickname given to him by his ever irritating muggle girlfriend who was forever mailing and trying to call him, "You sure are saying Blimey allot."

"Blimey," he joked nudging me.

The way to Hogwarts was pretty much the same; we sat through another sorting, another speech and another feast, our last. I looked around knowing in my heart I would sure miss this place after the year was finished. Harry slipped his arms around my shoulder.

"its gunna be strange not coming back next year," as if reading my thoughts he sighed in my ear.

"Yup sure is, I was just thinking I'll definitely miss this place," I sighed in return burrowing my head into his shoulder until I remembered what Malfoy had said before we had entered the heads carriage was he being nasty and lying or was he telling the truth bored with his imagination? I pulled away suddenly trying hard to hide the red blush on my cheeks growing redder and hotter the closer Harry came to me.

"Are you okay Hermione?" he whispered in my ear making me feel even redder and even hotter and more uncomfortable. My eyes shot of over to the slytherin table trying to find my partner in accommodation and accommodation only for the year. I found him looking sullen pushing his food around his plate while his friends nagged him insistently. I had a feeling they too knew what I had only learned this afternoon. he looked up and caught my eye held it for a moment and then turned away as suddenly as he had looked up.

"I'm fine Harry," I replied once I had composed myself, "I'm going to go check out my new dorm I share with ferret boy." I got up and calmly walked out of the great hall, when I was finally out of sight I stopped and quickly memorized my map and ran to my new dorm never noticing the shadow following me.

Chapter Three,

So much for a truce.

The portrait hanging at the entrance to our dorm was beloved to be a famous work of muggle art and until now I was happy to believe the same. Greeting me was long hair and a pair of eyes that really did follow me where ever I go and not to mention the lips that never seemed to frown but neither did they smile. The timeless, expensive and very delicate piece of art finally saw that someone was waiting to gain entrance.

"You're the..."

"Yes Mona Lisa painted by Leonardo Di Vinci the great inventor, artist, adventurer and wizard and how are you miss granger?"

"You know my name wow the Mona Lisa knows my name I mean it is such a privilege to meet you... you know people have been trying to figure out who you are for years and years!"

"Of course I know your name I will be living with you all year the professor always gives me a heads up, the privilege is all mine to finally meet a witch as brilliant as myself and yes I don't look bad for my age do I? As for my name well you can just call me Mona Lisa it has been so long I have forgotten my own name."

"What about the portrait at the lourve?"

"I'm the real deal hunny that's why I can talk Di Vinci made still copies of his art so they could never really discover he was a wizard."

"No wonder he was so smart," i admired under my breath.

"Procrastination," a voice that could never be mistaken called from behind me, "you should know the password Granger you're doing enough of it. Now shut that gaping fly trap of yours and get in here before it shuts" I waved off his normally annoying snide comment with a shrug of my shoulder and made my way past the glorified piece of art that only i was ever lucky enough to share with Draco freaking Malfoy stomping my feet like a spoilt child.

After my mini hissy fit I finally looked around to find doors everywhere in what looked to be a massive high ceiling two bedroom house chandeliers and all, straight ahead through the open awning i found myself in a spacious, cool and breezy kitchen the walls were painted in a nice light blue and yellow tinge with white clouds sponged onto the roof to give them a cloud effect a polished red cedar wood. To the left there was red cedar door which opened into a spacious rose garden made of marble that seemed to just float in mid air. I had a choice of two more red cedar doors one straight ahead the other to my right. I took the right door and ended up in our common room now with the plush fake fluff hand seats sitting around the fireplace in a mix of fake animal prints. Past these was another door which when i opened it turned out to be a massive library about the size of the school library minus the restricted section even though i had a feeling some restricted books were in here for our use. On the floor were a few scattered green and red bean bags while in the middle there was a Piano and a steel stringed guitar. I left this room not long after i had stumbled upon it. Turning left i was confronted by a hallway to the right was one doorway painted green which i guessed was to make sure i knew that was his room and so i went towards the other door the red one which by process of deduction was mine.

This room that i entered was definitely mine you could tell by the amount or red and gold. I was lucky enough this year to finally score that double bed i had always wanted but the silk sheets were going to have to go. I hated silk and preferred to sleep with cotton sheets and blankets. In the far corner a cupboard with all my belongings put away in it sat as was there a chest at the foot of my bed. A fireplace sat in front of 15th century aristocracy styled couches and matching three person sofas. I also found a study desk and bookshelf full of more books which looked even more restricted than the restricted books in the restricted section. Was Dumbledore trying to tempt trouble? All of the furniture including my four poster medieval aristocracy styled bed was all made of red cedar except my couches. It indeed did look very red and quite posh and lady like in here.

I finally noticed another door near my study desk after spending a good half an hour gawking at my own room. I followed this door into a corridor with a green door at the other end and a red and green door facing each other. Naturally i took the red door not wanting to tempt what was behind the green nor being tempted by what was behind it. My bathroom was by far the most outstanding room in the whole dorm. The walls were covered in mosaics and the windows were made of stained glass the best part was that there was a massive bath and shower while the room gave off a faint smell of apples and strawberries. By now i had seen the entire place and was mightily impressed.

I walked back to my room and pulled out my large bag of pot and chucked it onto my study desk while i retrieved bowl and scissors to chop with as well a cone piece to smoke my pot. then i went to the kitchen drained a pop top bottle and cut a piece of hose from the garden as i went past making my bong as i went filling it in the kitchen when i was done. I made my way back to my room and put some pot in the bowl and chopped it then i added tobacco and chopped it until it was fine to smoke. I decided that smoking in my room was boring and made my way to the library juggling everything on the way. Unfortunately i wasn't the first there. I put down my bong, bowl and lighter next to a red beanbag and slumped into it. I packed myself a bong and smoked it.

Draco was sitting in the corner with the steel stringed guitar given to us by Dumbledore playing chords from a book then mixing them around. In all honesty it didn't sound too bad when he started to play a song that confused me. How did he learn about the bloodhound gang? They were a muggle band then again Malfoy never ceased to surprise me today. He slowed it down and started playing a song i wouldn't recognize until a later date. The tension was killing me, all this silence bar the sound of the guitar was doing my head in. I wanted to say something about his sister to him but i had agreed, no i had promised, not a word, not a soul, not a word, not a soul it bounced around in my head like a super bouncy ball in my head. I was determined I could keep my mouth shut so i just smoked more pot. Finally the tension killed me.

"Where did you learn to play guitar?" i asked before i could stop myself. His look said it all, i actually think he was stunned that i had talked to him in the first place let alone asked him a civil question. I could tell from his face that his sister had taught him along with all the muggle music and muggle things that he liked and instantly it clicked why he was playing the bloodhound gang.

"None of your business," He snapped back at me and then paused as if mulling something over in his head, "mudblood," he finally finished.

"You only call me that because you hate that you are second best to me and always have" i shot back at him, so much for civil.

"Shut up Granger, you don't want to know how and how often i am reminded of that fact without you rubbing salt into the wounds."

"You started it! You called me mudblood I was being civil!"

"You talked to me first."

"I asked you a polite question!"

"Well don't!"

"Don't what? Ask questions? If i did that I'd be stupid!"

"Well i wish you were then i wouldn't have to put up with you!"

"Put up with me? Put up with ME! How do you think i feel MALFOY? I ask you a question and you blow it out of proportion!"

"You're blowing it out of proportion i only called you a mudblood! Only reminding you of your station in life."

"I only reminded you I'm smarter than you!"

"Just shut up Granger." he sooked putting the guitar down and sulking out of the room.

"Someone's got PMS Me 1 Malfoy 0," I laughed at his retreating form and sat myself down in front of the piano. I looked down and saw that he had left the guitar and book on the floor; i picked it up and pulled it away when i realized it wasn't a book from our library. I opened it to find his journal written in his neat handwriting.

Dear Diary,

I don't see the point in life anymore, my mother is the only living relative i care about and she was never there for her. She never tried to save her. She hasn't long left for this world anyway, worry and misery have eaten her from the inside and i wait to hear of her departure any day now. My "friends" only talk to me because of my "famous" father the "hero." If they had only known what the bastard was really like lashing out at her poor thing, she didn't deserve the fate dealt to such an angel. I can not bear this life anymore filled with so many fake people filled with their happiness but to take my life would kill mother and kill anything my sweet sister ever stood for, but mother hasn't long left to this world someday...someday...

it finished there, i felt disturbed by this side of Malfoy i had never seen yet, i felt sorry even, no wonder he was such a nasty piece of work, it was all he had ever known. He was trying to hide the pain inside of him. He was just one big mystery Malfoy was. I put his diary in front of his door and went back to the library to play piano. I stroked the keys playing a melody filling my own hart filled with the sorrow of the words of my own broken home.

_I will not make the same mistakes that you did _

_I will not let myself _

_Cause my heart so much misery _

_I will not break the way you did, _

_You fell so hard _

_I've learned the hard way _

_To never let it get that far _

_Because of you _

_I never stray too far from the sidewalk _

_Because of you _

_I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt _

_Because of you _

_I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me _

_Because of you _

_I am afraid _

_I lose my way _

_And it's not too long before you point it out _

_I cannot cry _

_Because I know that's weakness in your eyes _

_I'm forced to fake _

_A smile, a laugh everyday of my life _

_My heart can't possibly break _

_When it wasn't even whole to start with _

_Because of you _

_I never stray too far from the sidewalk _

_Because of you _

_I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt _

_Because of you _

_I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me _

_Because of you _

_I am afraid _

_I watched you die _

_I heard you cry every night in your sleep _

_I was so young _

_You should have known better than to lean on me _

_You never thought of anyone else _

_You just saw your pain _

_And now I cry in the middle of the night _

_For the same damn thing _

_Because of you _

_I never stray too far from the sidewalk _

_Because of you _

_I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt _

_Because of you _

_I tried my hardest just to forget everything _

_Because of you _

_I don't know how to let anyone else in _

_Because of you _

_I'm ashamed of my life _

_Because it's empty _

_Because of you _

_I am afraid _

_Because of you _

_Because of you _

My eyes brimmed with unshed tears pouring my broken heart fulling the empty space before i would let the tears fall from eyes. I filled it and emptied it many times inside me only to fill it again until my insides would burst from the tears inside. I don't know how long Malfoy had been standing there and i didn't notice him until finally i could not empty my heart to refill it and the tears cascaded down my cheeks that burned with the fire of embarrassment and I heard clapping as i myself sobbed my tears rolling down my face onto the keyboard and my fingers. My eyes shot up to as he placed his hand on my shoulder and i gave him a look that would have frozen an Eskimo in his tracks and he quickly stopped what he was doing but the look on his face was the strangest look i had ever seen a man have on his face especially did i find it hard to believe that that look was coming from Malfoy. The ice king looked as though something in him had melted. I took my own frosted hues and melted them softly my heart finally emptying itself again at his expression.

"How about a truce?" i sighed.

"A truce?"

"Yeah a truce Malfoy, i won't get in your way if you stay the hell out of mine, i won't provoke you if you don't provoke me, you know a truce." He looked as though he was pretending to think long and hard about the offer i had just made him

"Okay," he finally replied

"Shake on it?" i stuck out my hand.

"Don't push your luck granger," he smiled holding out his own hand and shaking mine in his. Little did i know the trouble this truce would cause me and how hard it would be to keep not to mention the numerous times we both would break it.

"Thanks for returning my book," with that i fell off my stool in front of the piano. Had Draco Malfoy just thanked me? "Why do you fall off your chair every time i am polite i have manners you know?" i laughed at him

"Malfoy polite! Ha," i snorted, "and you're welcome." i replied from the floor ignoring his hand up.

"So much for truce." i heard him mumble under his breath.

Chapter Four.

Hell Hath No Fury Like A Witch Scorned

The next morning i raced to the great hall to receive my schedule for the year.

"Yes! Transfiguration, charms, defense against the dark arts, potions and care of magical creatures!" I jumped excitedly, "and a free day on Thursdays to study!"

"Yeah i got the same thing," Harry beamed at me.

"Awww crap," Ron muttered unhappily, "I got divination, transfiguration, Herbology, defense against the dark arts and Care of magical creatures with all my free study time through the week!" He grumbled as we ate our breakfast and even more so when Harry and I finally left to attend our first class of double potions together.

Ron had asked me to assign his classes this year as he would like to do what he was best at but it did not help his case when he was complaining like a baby who just had its lollypop taken away. I walked down the halls chatting and saying hi to anyone who recognized me or i recognized myself but eventually on our way to the dungeons, the number of people began to thin out drastically. Harry slipped his hand into mine and squeezed it. I shut my eyes for a split second to ease the tension in my head and try killing the butterflies in my stomach.

"Harry..." i started, "there's something we need to talk about..."

"Mmm?" he inquired without a word. I pushed him hard against the wall and pushed my lips against his with enough force to give him the message.

"I really like you Harry." I turned and ran to potions trying to regulate my breathing, as I got closer to class.

Harry stood leaning against the wall brushing his lips where warm ones had just been a smile covering his face from ear to ear. After a few moments of privacy, he decided that he himself should make his way to potions.

As soon as I saw, the blonde mop of hair slumping against the wall beside the entrance to our first class of the year and made my way directly towards him.

"Malfoy don't ask questions just be my partner in potions okay?"

"What? Why should I?"

"Cause I said so and i thought i said don't ask questions."

"I don't have to do what you say Granger"

"Just shut up and do it!"

"Fine," he grumbled whilst he returned to his slouching muttering under his breath, "So much for a truce." All of a sudden, the hallway began to fill with students and i watched in mortification as Harry came closer towards me. I quickly changed my point of interest to my feet and tried to hide my reddening cheeks. To my sheer dumb luck no sooner had Harry made it to my side than my unlikely savior appeared storming into the classroom his robes billowing behind him and his books tucked neatly under his arm.

"Hermione i need to speak with you later," Harry then pecked me on the cheek and walked off. I felt the butterflies in my stomach that i had tried so hard to crush kill and destroy came roaring back to life like a fairy every time someone who really believed in fairies clapped their hand and bought them back to life and the feeling of being stared at didn't help the strange sensation for me.

"You coming?" the familiar voice of one Draco Malfoy sulked from behind me in my childish girl daze. He made his way to the des at the far back of the room, stood behind it, and nudged his head at me indicating me to follow. I sat beside him and stared at the back of Harry's head that in return turned around and gave me a funny look causing me to giggle into my hands.

"Something funny Miss Granger?" Snape drawled at me bored at my obviously childish behavior.

"No professor," I blushed deeply i could swear that all my blood belonged in my face because of the amount of blushing i have been doing in the last few weeks.

"Five points from Gryffindor for disruptive behavior." I applied a face that would have anyone think i had been forced to suck lemons instead of attending potions, which in all honestly i would prefer to suck a lemon, for a few moments until he turned around and i dropped the sour look from my face reminiscing the thought of Harry's strong arms encircling me and the feel of his powerful yet oh so soft lips against mine in a brief but what to me seemed electrified by the heat, passion and spontaneity of the moment that had passed between us.

I was rudely awakened from my daydreaming by a hard poke in the side with the corner of a book by Malfoy telling me that class was finished. I looked down to find that happily my parchment was filled with the notes from the lesson as given to me by Snape without my noticing. Relief washed over me until i remembered my predicament and the butterflies once again returned to my stomach. What had i done? Would this ruin our friendship? Had I just ruined our friendship? Did he like me too? Panic surged through me like a rushing river and my heart felt about ready to give in.

"What have you got next?" I asked Malfoy. In reply, he simply handed me his timetable only for me to discover his like Harry's was exactly the same as mine. "I'll be your study buddy if you walk with me to classes our timetables match can't hurt."

"Why don't you walk with the beloved saint potter?" He asked his voice skeptical but somehow sounding like he was about to laugh.

"He uhhh," I stumbled with an excuse, "He is probably busy talking to someone else." As soon as I had said it, i knew it had come out bad and was a very unbelievable but he just rolled his eyes.

"Fine," he grumbled not in the least buying it but deciding for some reason unbeknownst to man to keep his big trap shut for once.

Charms was much like potions but instead of daydreaming away the class, i was panicking. If he liked me, he surely would have said so by now but instead he wanted to talk. All this waiting was driving me crazy i hated not having the answer. Dread filled my stomach.

"Granger what is wrong with you today? I thought i was pale! You are as white as a sheet!" Malfoy nudged me ten minutes before class was due to finish and snapping me back into reality only made problems worse.

"None of your business Malfoy," I snapped back at him my voice no higher than a whisper that only his ears could hear.

"You haven't even answered one question all day!"

"Shut up, I'm trying to concentrate!"

"You are not your too busy drooling over..."

"I said shut up Ferret Boy!"

"Fine," he grumbled not bothering me any longer and finally deciding to save his breath thankfully.

After our class was lunch and Malfoy and I were making our way to the great hall without saying a word when Harry came running up behind us.

"Hermione! Hermione wait up I'm not a bloody Emu!" he puffed and panted as he finally made he way to my side. "Can we talk now?"

"Sure Harry," i stood there waiting for him to start talking.

"In private?" he nodded towards Malfoy. I nodded and Malfoy began walking to the Hall by himself as Harry and I made our way to an empty classroom

"Look Harry if it is about this morning forget about it okay? Just pretend it never happened."

"Hermione he grabbed my wrist and pulled me closer so our lips were just millimeters apart, "you know i cant do that, it's in the open now," my stomach now felt like someone was filling a lead balloon with helium inside of it, "I mean you're a really nice girl but you're just not..." he didn't need to finish his sentence, i just wasn't girlfriend material. I blinked the forming tears from my eyes and ran past Harry trying so hard to empty my broken heart. I ran Malfoy in less than three minutes and plenty of other stunned students until i finally made my way to the lake where i tripped over a rock landing hard on my knees and tearing my skirt and scraping my hands. I felt more of a wreck than i looked and i sat there for a good ten minutes while i stared out and over the vast cool waters of the lake letting my broken heart have a chance to mend somehow. I pulled a joint from my bag and cursed loudly when i could not find my lighter. From the side my eyes caught a flicker of blonde hair and a smaller flicker of flame.

"Go away Malfoy."

"well okay if you don't need a lighter," he went to put it back in his pocket and realizing the dilemma I was now in i felt like crying again, "well if it means that much to you I'll trade." he laughed at my sudden attack of spookiness. Then to my stupidity, the answer came to me.

"What do i have that you could want Malfoy? Besides i can just light it myself," i pulled out my wand and muttered a short incantation and a large flame propelled itself from the end. I used this flame to light the small whit smelly stick hanging out of my mouth.

"True, well firstly some that," he nodded towards the joint in my hand now smoking away, "You also have brains and friends." I again just looked over the lake feeling as if i wanted to cry. "Ok, ok so you're a loner I'm sorry," he tried joking, which only made me cry. "Gees girlie let's not have a flash flood." I sniffled, wiped my nose on my sleeve, and took out another joint for Malfoy and having a toke of my own.

"I just stuffed things up big time," I sniffled again.

"Well I have lunch to waste and no one to talk too."

"Why are you being so nice?"

"I have no real friends to talk to it would be nice to have someone who registers as a human being to talk to that wont talk about Voldermort and seeing as i am no longer bound by him and you looked pretty lonely yourself so why not? What's up what have you stuffed up?"

"If i told you you'd only laugh."

"I promise you i won't."

"Yeah right Malfoy the whole school would know by the end of lunch and everyone would just laugh at me again." I got up and stormed back into the castle.

When I arrived at the great hall, most people had already had lunch and was milling around the school somewhere. I sat myself down and made myself a bacon and cheese sandwich. A red headed mass of muscles plonked himself down next to me and stole my sandwich straight from my hand before i could even take a bite of it.

"Yum! My favorite! Thanks Hermione!" Ron smiled cheekily at me. I made myself another sandwich with bacon and mushrooms and ate it hungrily my munchies taking hold of me. After demolishing one, I finished another two and one more just for the hell of it.

"Blimey Hermione! Where do you put it all? You're so tiny and yet you eat so much!" Ron asked open mouthed in awe of my eating efforts.

"Munchies..." I started with my mouth full, "Ron shut it you look like your about ready to give some poor guy head!" As I said this, he continued to go redder than his hair and almost the color of cooked crispy bacon. "Ron are you hiding something from me?" I smirked.

"Hermione, I'm gay..." Ron barely muttered trying to make sure i was the only one who heard unfortunately for him my reaction was anything but quiet.

"YOU'RE WHAT? WHAT ABOUT YOUR POOR GIRLFRIEND DOES SHE KNOW?"

"Shhh," he hushed me, "I'm gay Hermione with Neville he has been my "girlfriend" i found out just before the end of last year."

"WHAT? NEVILLE!" a dark head popped up straight after my outburst as Ron clamped his hand over my mouth.

"Talking about you not too you okay?" Ron called over to him realizing his iron grip on my mouth Neville's head disappeared where it came from earlier.

"Ron can we talk in private please?" I asked quietly his face falling as i said so, 'I'm fine with you and Neville Ron it's about Harry." His face fell even more.

"Hermione I already know about this morning... Why didn't you tell me you were diggin' Harry? I would have done anything to help if i didn't want him all to myself." he giggled but his face quickly became serious again. "He has also told like everyone in our year before the end of lunch everyone will know...I'm so sorry Hermione." I felt anger rising inside of me like a hot volcano ready to split my seams and pour hot lava own some kind of surface not caring what surface it was or what i burned in my pathway. Not only i was i not good enough for the famous golden boy Harry Potter but also the superstar in his own right had to be a damn diva and tell everyone else that I had made a move and had been rejected. Everyone had to know i wasn't good enough; it wasn't enough to hurt me he had to rub it in.

In my shock i had left the great hall Ron calling after me but to scared to follow and when i came to I was standing before Mona Lisa clenching and unclenching my fists into and out of balls of extreme rage that my insides were finding more than difficult to contain.

"Hey Mona."

"Oh hey Hermione."

"How have you been?"

"Not bad for an ancient piece of art. What's eating you if you don't mind me asking? Its not the Harry thing is it?"

"YOU know?"

"Hunny I'm the first to hear anything really, nearly headless nick keeps me filled in on all the goss."

"Humph, Boys nothing but trouble."

"You don't have to tell me hunny I had to put up with Da Vinci! Like i always say though hell hath no fury like a witch scorned," the famous painting giggled.

"Hmm that sounds like some good revenge," I laughed as she whispered a little spell in my ear, "Usagi-Chan." She opened up and i went to my room where i rolled some more joints as my supply was running low and i then left for my next class defense against the dark arts.

When I got there, i found Harry surrounded by an entourage of his fans and as they all saw me coming a group of tarted up; skanky, airheads giggled and Mona's advice sprang into my mind like fire in the Australian outback.

"Hell hath no fury like a witch scorned; Hell hath no fury like a witch scorned." Harry pushed his way to the front and wrapped his arms around me.

"Hermione! Baby! I'm so sorry!" but before he could utter another heartless word I pushed him into his rent-a-crowd and drew my wand.

"Hell Hath no fury like a witch scorned Potter!" I yelled cursing him and he glowed the color of a man about to vomit and then returned to normal.

"What did you just do to me?" Harry asked bewildered

"Just what you'd call a Pinocchio spell, with a little twist but you can figure out what happens when you lie all by yourself, I'm sure it wont take long," I beamed at him. I looked at the stunned mullets around me but i noticed from the corner of my eye a blonde figure smirking at the memory he had of me casting the same spell on him. His blue eyes twinkled mischievously but I felt lost. I had just jinxed any chance with Harry away at the moment.

As tradition went, we had a new defense against the dark arts teacher and his name was Professor Meat Pie. Apparently, he had been a very famous Auror from down under helping the magical and muggle community against the death eaters in Australia he had a very strong accent and said "Mate" a lot, and he always insisted we said "G'day," to him, which wasn't as easy as it sounds with our thick accents. He was very toned with a shining tan, short dark brown hair and moss green eyes that always twinkled with mischief and mystery. He was a prankster and loved telling jokes appropriate or not and even more than, jokes he liked a good what he called a "yarn" what ever that meant. He also enjoyed complaining about your weather. I would learn a lot from and about this professor over the year to help me in the real world but all the knowledge he passed to me would take too long to write so i wont. Meat pie was really his last name but i never learned his first. He must have copped a lot of shit growing up in Australia with his last name as Aussies are famous for their meat pies, sunny weather, beautiful beaches, strange lingo and relaxed attitude not to mention the need to provoke. Everyone here loved him as he was so friendly and polite it really made me want to visit Australia sometime.

He spent the lesson giving us theory on trolls and decided we would start all our practical work next week.

"Good job Granger, I must say that prick really needed someone to do that to him i cant wait till he finds out what it does," Malfoy whispered to me as we wrote our notes and while i checked out the spunky new professor drooling over him having push Harry far from my mind i thought it was about to go on to bigger and better things and i could at least bet that the Professor was bigger as i had accidentally pulled the sheets off Harry one summer morning after honestly forgetting that he had told me the previous night that he had slept naked.

"Only a matter of time Malfoy only a matter of time."

Today we studies all the strong and weak points of trolls and how to get them every time i was fascinated as i was almost killed by one in first year and "Sheer dumb luck" had saved my ass. I suddenly felt very lonely again all thoughts of revenge gone from my mind.

After school was finished, again Harry pulled me into an empty classroom.

"What did you do to me?" He snapped impatiently.

"Potter, I cast a truth spell you see... oh Nah I wont spoil the fun," I tried to wave him off his snapping had made me once again impatient with him and my temper was getting the best of any common sense i thought i had.

"Hermione...I...I... I love you." a small giggle burst from my mouth before i could stop myself. Normally this is what i want to hear but the small dick growing on his forehead made it hard not to laugh at him.

"You shouldn't lie i can see it in your face." He ran to the nearest mirror he could find and yelled ferociously.

"HOW DO I MAKE IT GO AWAY?" he begged

"Tell the truth," I said simply

"Hermione I don't really love you..."

"I know potter." he cringed at my frankness

"Why are you doing this Hermione?"

"Because not only did you toy with my feelings, lead me on and then crush me, YOU TOLD EVERYONE ABOUT IT!"

"I'm sorry," was all he replied meekly but i could tell he was lying from the extension growing on his forehead. I couldn't help giggling again.

"Yeah right whatever..." i paused for effect, "Dickhead!"

"I never led you on Hermione," it smacked him between the eyes, " i never toyed with you and never meant to hurt you," it was now hanging just under his nose, "and i never told anyone i swear!" It was now so long he could fit it in his mouth. Knowing i knew he was lying he changed tactics. "You know what Hermione i did toy with you, lead you on, hurt your feeling and tell everyone that i had done so. But you wanna know why Hermione? you have always been a know it all bitch who always had to be right and have her way and I'm sick of it your nothing but an up-tight frigid bitch and no one with a brain would want someone as plain and annoying as you!" he reprimanded me shocking me to my core.

"And the truth will set you free," i whispered hoarsely as he glowed again a sickening green and returned to normal his extension completely disappearing. I turned and I too disappeared closing my heart never wanting it to break like it was breaking right now never wanting to be betrayed again. I ran all the way to my room where my life was about to take some seriously unexpected twists and turns that my entire life would depend upon and in my entire life i would never guessed or believed.

Chapter Five

Not A Word Not A Soul.

I threw myself onto the couch in our common room and cried as if i had never cried before. Everything he had just said was true, i had known it but it had never hurt like this before. When i finally looked up a bong and a lighter was reaching towards me by a pair of soft and pale gentle hands. Passed this i could see a worried Malfoy staring at me and for some reason i did not feel uncomfortable. I took the bong and the lighter in silence and smoked about five or six cones before finally setting them down. I placed my face into the pillow and screamed with all my might.

"Settle pettle," Malfoy patted my shoulder and i swatted at his hand making him laugh which in turned made me laugh and we just sat there a good ten minutes laughing at ourselves. We wiped the tears of laughter from our eyes.

'What do you want Malfoy?" I sighed still irritated at having my privacy invaded though i was bawling my eyes out on our common room sofa. My heart still cold as ice as was my voice, "come to rub it in?"

"To see what's wrong, i can't have my roomie having a tantie on me now can i? i have had to live with Drama queens for almost six years i don't want to live with one this year."

"Sod off."

"No I want to know what's wrong!"

"Why don't you ask the groupies they all know like just about everyone else in the school? Even better yet you can ask Pansy Parkinson while you fuck her brains out!" At this comment, he went slightly green.

"Actually I'm..." he stopped himself before he could say anything further, "look tell me what's wrong and I'll tell you something about me."

"You're a virgin aren't you?"

"You sure like to hit the nail on the head don't you? Anyway so are you!" it was my turn to go red at this.

"Yes Malfoy if you must know I am... I just want to wait for "the one" you know."

"And what if "the one" doesn't want you?" i stopped myself from saying anything when he said this he knew the bastard he knew he was just trying to make it harder for me. "So you got a big crush on Potter and he turned you down big deal!"

"It's a big deal to me Malfoy!"

"I heard what he said after Defense against the Dark arts class Granger." Again, I was stunned.

"So why did you ask?"

"Cause i wanted you to let your damned pride go and tell me dammnit!"

"It's not like you care Malfoy!"

"Granger I have to live with you for a damn year, unfortunately as much as you don't and i don't want me too I have to care okay its my duty!"

"Why?"

"Because it disrupts my day to day life okay?"

"Fuck off Malfoy i knew you only cared about yourself," i thundered past him to my room and charmed it to lock and soundproof itself. I pulled out my personal guitar and a bottle of Jim beam i had snuck in. I opened the bottle and drank a quarter of it then put it down to play guitar my favorite song Oh love by Jase E

_How can I love you and still let you go, go go go,_

_How can i need you and not tell you so._

_How can I kiss you but still I want to cry, cry cry cry,_

_How can i hold you, when i know i have to say good-bye?_

_Oh love oh love how can it feel so good it hurts, hurts so bad,_

_Oh, love oh love how can it make you happy only to make you sad._

_Oh love how it can be so hard but still be so plain,_

_Oh, love oh love how is it we're all player in this game of love._

_Oh love Oh love Oh love Oh love._

_How can i feel so confused, when everything's so clear?_

_How can I push you away when i only want you here?_

_How can i remember when all i want is to forget?_

_How can i be so hopeful but still so full of regret._

_Oh love oh love how can it feel so good it hurts, hurts so bad,_

_Oh, love oh love how can it make you happy only to make you sad._

_Oh love how can it be so hard but still be so plain,_

_Oh, love oh love how is it we're all player in this game of love._

_Oh love Oh love Oh love Oh love._

_Oh love Oh love Oh love yeah yeah yeah Oh love._

I reopened my bottle of Jim beam and drank another quarter so that only half the bottle remained i stumbled around drunkenly for a few moments and barely had time to put it down before i collapsed onto the mattress and falling into a drunken sleep.

I awoke around 3 am the next morning to a throbbing headache and a very upset stomach feeling very nauseas and recognizing a hangover. I lit a joint to ease the pain and took a quick swig then decided to head to the kitchen for a super greasy midnight snack of Bacon and garlic feta mushrooms with toast. I loved magic, now in my seventh year i have learned to cook and clean with just a flick of the wand and quick incantations. I consumed my breakfast feeling a little better after eating something and a coffee. I went into the rose garden to have a quick cigarette when Malfoy came out.

"Can I have one?"

"Malfoy, I thought you were rich why are you always bumming off me?" to this he laughed.

"My father owns everything and he is in prison I don't get a sickle until he is physically dead. He is pretty much dead anyway." i passed him a cigarette and a light and for a while we sat there in the cool breeze just silence, a comfortable silence. Malfoy was the first to break this silence.

"I have a deal for you. I have a solution to your problem but..."

"There's always a but," i rolled my eyes.

"But i want you to be my partner in my classes..." again there was only silence an uncomfortable silence this time," Look I'll meet you in the common room for lunch to talk about it okay? Just think about it." then he just got up and left not a word just stood up and walked to his room.

"What do i want help from a ferret like you anyway?" i muttered to myself. Then again, it was a partner in all my classes and seeing as Harry was no longer talking to me. As to the solution to my problem, well i guess i could hear him out it'll be fun hearing Malfoy tell me what he thought was wrong with me, and if he had a plan to fix it if it sounded all right I'd run for it see if it worked.

I sat beside him in Transfiguration first, we were now learning to apparate properly, and it was pretty some people would concentrate real hard and still go nowhere. Of course, apparation i had read about in fourth grade and it was so very easy for me that i really didn't have much to do for the lesson but help the ones i had been laughing at.

Next, we had potions. As it was theory Malfoy and I had said barely minimal except "Next page," or, "Pass the wormwood." which was me or

"Stir this please," or, "What was that?" which was mainly Malfoy. We were in practical so we had to ask minimal favors we didn't speak abut anything personal it was a completely professional.

Last of all we had ancient runes which was boring as all hell but a good thing to learn most students took it to sleep in class thanking whoever made quick notes quills and of course decent ones that didn't lie like Rita Skeeters. I mainly did my homework in this class. I was so lucky that my hangover was gone when i had woken up, it was like a blessing. But now it was hitting me again and wanted to sleep so i decided to actually for once postpone my homework and sleep it off a bit more.

"Ron give me five more minutes," I grumbled. Malfoy couldn't help but smirk at this. He nudged me with his elbow again. "Ron go kiss Neville would Ya?" i started to settle again, when i was rudely awakened by very loud and annoying laughter. I'll tell you i was not pleased. I pulled my hand back and slapped the culprit who for a second sat there shocked only to burst out in laughter till his face went bright red.

"Shut up!" i whispered sharply.

"Ohhh I'm sorry that was priceless," he wiped a tear from his eye.

"You have to promise me you won't tell a soul!" i urged. Again, he sat there silent for a second and burst into to laughter once more. Once he had composed his face he could not stay serious because the look on my face was far more priceless than the joke, pleading but serious, completely serious. Eventually after about fifteen minutes of this, I walked off to our dorm peeved that he wasn't serious but frightened he would blurt Ron's secret. Another ten minutes later Malfoy finally arrived. By this time, I had cooked a Thai red chicken coconut curry and was now packing myself a bong. I smoked this and passed some to Malfoy as well.

"Not a word not a soul," I said to him. He tried not to laugh so hard as he nodded his head and kept the secret. We dished up our lunch and ate it in complete peace and quiet. Then i remembered why we were her.

"I believe you had a solution to my problem i just want to clarify what problem you're talking about?" I inquired.

"Ahh yes well let me first say that that was fantastic Red curry."

'Thanks and Second of all?" again i was impatient.

"Ok ok patience is a virtue you know?

"Yeah yeah whatever," I shrugged off my own advice.

"Well how do you feel about Harry?" I felt a bit stunned by this and immediately i was on the defensive.

"What kind of business is that of yours?"

"Well that obviously means you do."

"Shut up you ferret! I'm not here to be laughed at!"

"Tell me to shut up just hear me out and answer the question okay?"

"Fine yes i do okay i still like him after everything he did to me!"

"Well what if i said i could transform you into a princess that any man would want and you would have guys at your beck and call and if you choose Harry then you choose Harry."

"And what do you want in return for it Malfoy?"

"Call me Draco."

"Is that it?"

"No."

"Okay what do you want Draco." boy that felt weird actually calling him by his first name without his last.

"Someone to talk to, to tell how i feel."

"Why me?"

"What is this twenty questions?"

"Yes. Why me? And that doesn't count as two questions asking the same thing. And I'm up to six."

"Cause your trustworthy,"

"You don't know that."

"I know you know about my sister." this shocked me

"How do you know? Seven."

"I overheard the old bat telling you."

"Firstly you were listening and second she maybe an old bat but so is Snape!"

"Hermione," He used my first name. You never told anyone with all the opportunity you had and you have been somewhat civil in your own strange way to me and your the only REAL HUMAN BEING in Hogwarts! Oh and tell Fred and George those extendable ears are amazing!"

"I will," I replied remembering to reprimand the boys for selling Draco the extendable ears," So let me get this straight Draco, you will help me win Harry's heart if I talk to you about stuff...? Eight. Am i sure, i want to do this? Nine. And why should I? Ten. How do i know you wont use this against me? Eleven."

"Granger... Hermione if you don't believe me I'll make an unbreakable vow."

"You'd do that?"

"Will you trust me?"

"Can I trust you? Unlucky thirteen."

"Only if you let me."

"Why should I? Fourteen."

"Why do you keep asking that?"

"Because I don't know why i should."

"Granger because if i use it against you, I'll tell you things you can easily use against me."

"Shake on it?" Fifteen" I reached out my hand still somewhat skeptical. He took my hand and shook it receiving a small electric shock from the buzzer o my hand as a practical joke.

"Now it's binding."

"Great, how did you get it to do that?" he shook his hand and stared at mine evilly

"Muggle thing"

"Oh. I couldn't back out now i had just done a deal with the devil. A deal with the devil for a piece of his soul. I was playing with fire now and i just had to hope that i didn't get burnt like you would with two out of control poi's wrapping itself around your neck.

"Friends?" he asked meekly.

"Don't push it okay? Sixteen."

"Okay."

"Do you want another bong? Seventeen. Can you wash the dishes? Eighteen.

"Sure and do i have to?" he laughed.

"Yes."

"Why?

"Why ask why? Nineteen. I cooked lunch you wash dishes and how long till class starts there twenty."

"Okay okay I'll do the dishes and ten minutes. So Charms next huh you had time to do your homework anyway."

Chapter Six.

Wow, That's Incredibly Tacky Malfoy.

A pile of booked wobbled dangerously on my head.

"What exactly is this achieving? I'd probably get more knowledge reading these than balancing them on top of my head you know?"

"Ahh that's where you're wrong you see you are learning balance and good posture if you can walk..."

"Like i have a pole up my ass!"  
"Well each to their own," he smiled, "with grace and poise you will look like a lady dress elegant and classy but not too old fashion. Now lift your head up a little don't watch the ground. Look confident, straighten your shoulders like this," he moved my shoulders a little," and tuck in your bum." I followed his instructions and the books wobbling ceased. I took another cautious step and before long, i was walking around the room.

"Well done," I took another lap, "ok now you're showing off." he scowled jokingly. It was now February 10th and the Valentines ball was looming ever closer. I had now mastered poise and grace with a few exceptions i had also learnt a lot about skin tone, care, make up and fashion. My hair now thanks to many hours of straightening and conditioning and treating was no longer a giant ball of frizz but long brown locks that i almost always had in French braids He had confided in me that his sister had taught him all he had known and used him as a model when their father was away for long periods of time and they were left to themselves.

People had gotten used to Hermione and Draco chatting civilly between each other in the hallways both sides believed it was because they were heads they were on best behavior and for house unity had to be civil and both bought it as they refrained their times spent laughing and joking and talking to private unless it was about business which they discussed in public and private.

"Hermione?" Draco asked patiently.

"Yes Draco," I replied.

"Would you like to attend the ball with me?

"I have men at my feet nowadays why you? Don't worry i ask every guy the same question..."

"Because if it wasn't for me those men wouldn't be at your feet. I want to rub it in just a little besides it will really piss off Harry."

"It would cause quite a stir wouldn't it?

"At least you wont be dateless?"

"Okay okay when you put it like that. Yes I'll be your date."

"Sorry? I need turn up my hearing aid what was that?"

"YES I'LL BE YOUR DATE,"I yelled this time.

"Do you know what you're wearing? He smiled.

"Not really but I'm hoping something red."

"Good choice of color."

"So anyway enlighten me you've never told me why you actually love potter."

"Well it's kind of hard to explain. I mean he's hurt me but...It's hard to explain love. It started one summer i think it was at the end of fifth year. Well i don't like flying very much and Harry one night took me out and insisted. It took ages for Harry to convince me to open my eyes though. But i remember he whispered in my ear. I have you I'll keep you safe you can trust me and he did. I have never seen anything like it before and never have i felt like that either. It was just Harry, me and the sea of lights. Only gravity, the different colored lights and the moon could have told us if we were flying upside down or not..."

"Sounds hopelessly romantic if you ask me."

"How about you Draco have you met the love of your life yet."

"No," he sighed, "i have not yet been blessed with the joys of love and romance yet." He lit a joint," I want to find the one the right one. A woman who takes my breath away just by her breathing herself."

"That is so tacky Malfoy."

"Hey you haven't lost it yet either at least you found the one you want to give it away too."

"Love always hurts you though."

"Not real love."

"Harry hurt me."

"Maybe he's not the one."

"And if he is."

"Then you are one unlucky lady."

"Indeed I am," i light another joint smoking it in the silence to follow. Draco was now my best friend and i confided everything in him as he did the same with me and after a serious talk, we would always seem to sit in silence and smoke pot.

"I'm really glad i have you to talk to Hermione, i don't know where I'd be without you...I Ahh bought you a present."

'Thank you, you didn't have to," i was a bit stunned that he had gotten me a present.

"No really i wanted to here," he passed me a little black velvet box in which was a simple black and red pair of chandelier earrings made with silver, ruby and onyx.

"Where did you get these?" I asked curious at how much they must be worth.

"They were my sisters." I felt a bit sick taking these, as they were an item belonging to someone he loves the most. "I insist. You're my best friend and before you she was my best friend it is only right she'd want you to have them."

"You're so sweet Draco!"

"And Sexy?" he joked.

"And sexy," i laughed.

"Ohhh why thank you," he curtsied when he was finished we lit another joint.

"Munchies?" he smiled at me. I nodded and proceed to make some pizza.

"Mmm Italian."

"You like"

"Oh I always like your cooking Hermione."

"Can you cook?"

"No not really... I've always had elves or you to do that."

"I can teach you it's easy."

"If you insist but i swear it's gunna get messy!" he mumbled his mouth full of pizza.

"Don't talk with your mouthful and to think you're teaching me etiquette."

"Shut up you." i poked my tongue at him, "So are you getting your dress this Saturday at hogsmede?"

"Yeah it wont be too fancy can barely afford it."

"I'll pay all your expenses don't worry about it and we can go shopping at hogsmede together wont that be fun?"

"Are you sure?"

"It would be my pleasure. I don't wanna see it though you pick it out and put it on hold and I'll pay for it for you. This will be so fun we get to go shopping!" i laughed at him and he hugged me. I think that for the first time Draco Malfoy, my sworn enemy for six years was hugging me and taking me shopping that was just too tacky.

Chapter Seven.

The Hogsmede Escapade.

Saturday the 14th of February had finally arrived and today would be our Hogsmede trip to shop for the last minute requirements for the ball that only 6th and 7th years were allowed to attend. I hadn't even picked a dress yet and I longed to Flourish and Botts. Draco being the date for the special day did everything to curb me as far as possible away from my beloved hide away. We finally stumbled across a lovely little store that wasn't as busy as the others called Madam Octa. Inside was a ginger Haired man with a scar running down his left cheek wearing a lovely red coat over a lovely blue and intricately patterned alike to the cloak, blue suit.

"Hello Miss may I help you?" He smiled warmly without bearing his teeth.

"Yes thank you sir I need a red ball gown," I replied politely.

"Come right this way," he walked me to a line of hideously tacky dresses and i cringed at the thought of wearing the large over bearing dresses until a spotted something amazing.

"May I try this one on?" I asked.

"Why Miss that dress changes shape to fit whoever is wearing it. Like a magic version of lycra."

"Oh i have to see if it suits me... are all these dresses the same sir?"

"Oh no, unfortunately. Our tailor usually works by order and the ones we sell in the shop are merely displays. they are hardly ever bought but you see we hide the beauties amongst them and ones that have a good eye for such things spot them out on occasion and those who don't," he smiled playfully still never bearing his teeth," well it is funny to see them try it on, some even take dresses that are hideous," he continued as i changed into the dress. As he said, it was a beautiful fit I stared at myself in the mirror amazed at the reflection in front of me. I had changed dramatically with the help of Malfoy and i no longer looked frumpy and untidy. My hair shone and my complexion glowed. I was surprised as i saw the girl in front of me had become a lady, a woman.

"May I put this on hold please? I've decided to take it," i inquired.

"Certainly Miss but you do understand this is a very expensive dress it costs almost..." He started.

"Please i don't want to know the price thank you a boy by the name of Malfoy will be picking it up."

"Malfoy? Master Draco Malfoy?" He quizzed me.

"Yes actually do you know him?" i answered.

"Why yes i have been serving the Malfoy since before the only Malfoy child was born but all along they thought their first would be a girl they bought all these clothes for a baby girl about the time he would have been conceived for a little girl." I felt sick that he didn't know that those clothes were for a real baby girl, "well anyway don't worry about him picking it up tell him i will put it on the Malfoy tab and you can take it now."

"Why thank you Mr...?"

"Crespley, Larten Crespley." He placed the dress into an elegant box and tied it with a ribbon then placed into a bag for me to carry and I left the store never knowing the price of the dress and never feeling guilty about it.

I walked leisurely to the three broomsticks where Draco and I had designated to meet for lunch even though i was a bit later than our designated meeting time I didn't bother to walk in a hurry. I just took my time. When I walked in the first thing i really saw amongst the mixed marijuana and cigarette smoke was Harry's scowling face. Ignoring him, i turned to the smiling face of Draco Malfoy who was staring into space sipping a butterbeer and smoking a joint. He turned for a second to notice me standing in the doorway and gave me a dazzling smile until i was shoved from behind and landed clumsily on my knees holding myself up with my hands. I picked up my bag from my side and then picked myself up giving the boorish woman who looked like she belonged in a mine or as a woodcutter or some kind of labor position a dirty look to which she just shrugged her shoulders too. I gave Draco a weak embarrassed smile and made my way to our table to fetch myself a seat. Draco passed me a joint.

"Fantastic entrance hunny you sure know how to be the center of attention," He laughed at me.

"Shut up you," i grumbled for a moment then giving up on my unhappiness gave him a friendly smile.

"What's in the bag could you afford the dress after all which is surprising seeing as i took you to the most expensive shop in the Wizarding community."

"No actually he put it on your tab and you knew that all the clothes in there were terrible why did you take me there?"

"well obviously they weren't all terrible seeing as you brought something and know it was from there i can see the tag on the bag and i know you can find some rare gems in there which i hope you did." I punched him playfully in the arm to which he mad a mockery of an attempt at playing hurt making me laugh once more almost gagging on the smoke i had just inhaled. Obviously not, content with my oblivious display of happiness Harry sooked his way over to our table.

"Granger..."  
"Potter..." we addressed each other on a last name basis.

"Been seeing a lot of Malfoy here seem to be getting pretty cozy what did he forget you were a mudblood?"

"Harry, my blood may be dirtier than your but do remember your father was a muggle so you're in no position to talk to dirty blood."

"Jealous Potter?" Malfoy began, "She likes to be in the company of gentlemen who treat her like the lady she is, instead of boys who are forever trying to get into her pants. Root rats that don't care about a girl they know isn't going to put out just because you say so, you abused her friendship potter she doesn't have to consort with the likes of you anymore... If you haven't noticed she is quite the lady and as for her being a mudblood she may not be of wizardry decent but she is far brighter than any other witch i have come upon so please do me a favor and rid me and this lovely woman of your company. Now Hermione would you like a butterbeer and some lunch before we set off?" After such a reprimanding Harry slinked off into the background with his broken pride.

"Sure I'd love a butterbeer and some lunch," i pulled out my purse to get some money for him when he stopped me.

"It's on me dear..."

"But i thought you didn't have much money."

"Well it turns out that a new law was passed that anyone who receives the dementors kiss is classified as legally dead. I mean he isn't physically but he will never leave Azkaban so I inherited everything." He looked a bit glum at this last statement he turned for the bar. Seeing me alone Harry decided to have another chance with just me and this time had decided to play nice.

"Hermione, I just wanted to say I'm sorry, i just don't like to see Malfoy with you because i know he's going to hurt you."

"Like you did Harry?" i snapped back quickly, "It's just the skipper effect one day I was playing with Barbie when my best friend picked up her little sister skipper and I never wanted anything so bad in my life. Now Draco is my friend and you have never wanted me around until you saw i was happy elsewhere! Malfoy has been a better friend these past few months than you have in an entire seven years I have been here now fuck off Potter before I hex you with something more powerful than that old Pinocchio spell i got you with last time." I sneered him a sneer that would have made Draco proud if it had seen it, which i didn't know he had. Harry beaten once again gave up and sulked back to his table of groupies who all had turns at saying nasty things about me that they thought i hadn't heard. Draco came back with two butterbeers and a meal of rissoles, salad, smiles, zucchini, capsicum and grilled tomatoes.

"What did he want?" he asked picking up the salt and applying it to his food.

"To apologies, played hard to get like you told me too though," I smiled. He passed me my butterbeer and for a brief second our hands brushed against each other's. We looked at each other for a second and at he exact same time, we looked away blushing deeply but trying very hard to hide it. We both ate and drank in silence until our stomachs were full with butterbeer and delicious food. As we left, Draco stood behind me and pulled my chair out helping me stand. He pecked my cheek as I stood up and then slipped his hand into mine giving me a wink as he did so his back to Harry. The look on Harry's face was so priceless that I didn't see the hint of a smile on Draco's or notice how fast his heart was beating beside me.

As we got outside, I removed my hand from his and linked my arm into his instead.

"Did you see his face? That was totally puff!" I hooted using the lame new slang word for cool. I didn't notice in my joy Draco's face drop sadly. He had covered it in almost an instant.

"Yeah, he was so jealous, he wants you bad!" he joined in. I practically skipped to a nearby shoe shop to look for shoes, Draco all the while saying that I had, had too much pot, sugar and butterbeer for this to be good. In return, I smacked him in the arm and told him it was good for me and to this he only raised and eyebrow and smirked immaturely as his dirty mind did tricks, I just punched him in the arm again.

In the shoe store, I found a pair of shoes that I wanted quite quickly. Finally, i was able to go to flourish and Botts, read, and buy some new books. I found a nice book decorated beautifully with a boy with dark brown hair and green eyes staring longingly at a girl with blonde hair and brown eyes who in turn who staring at a boy with black hair and blue eyes. It said on the first page that it was based on a true muggle story but that the names had been changed to keep the identities of the people a secret.

"What color is your dress?" asked Draco bored out of his brains.

"Red, gold, silver, blue and black," i replied my nose in yet another book which i added to the pile Malfoy was carrying that almost reached his chin which was saying something as he was holding down around his waist.

"Well I uhhh have a few errands to run."

"Okay, okay," i answered to this and added one more book to the pile and we made our way to the counter where i paid for my purchase. I asked them to send all these to my room in Hogwarts as i had other things to do and i couldn't carry them around all day to which they obliged.

"So I'll meet you in the rose garden shall we say seven?" Draco inquired.

"Sounds good, see ya there Draco," i replied, waving him off as i made my way in the opposite direction.

I made my way through the hustle and bustle of sixth and seventh years on their hogsmede expedition for last minute Valentines things and first to fifth years just enjoying the day in the shopping city of Hogwarts and the towns folk who lived in the area doing their daily grind to Fred and George's joke shop. Inside was just as busy as outside as students and other prankster wizards looked around at new and old gadgets on display and i could have sworn i saw a swish of purple robes with stars and moons over them disappear behind another row of pranks and potions. I smiled as i picked up some of the new gadgets on display.

"Green teeth toothpaste?" i laughed, "Strawberry skin sunscreen? Blue in the face in a bottle? Edible earplugs? Now that's just gross?" I felt a tap on each of my shoulders and jumped surprise at the interruption of my browsing only to find the owners of the property standing behind me.

"Ahh but we have something special for you Hermione our sweet little sister," they grinned from ear to ear as they pulled out a glass bottle.

"A bottle of Jim? I had you boys buy me a year's supply before I went to Hogwarts why would I need another.." Fred or was it George put a finger to my lips and shushed me.

"It's a never ending bottle of Jim Beam Hermione he figured out how to do it and we wanted you to have the first one. We know its your favorite so its a present," George or was it Fred finished for the other.

"Thanks boys," i hugged them.

"You're welcome," they beamed at me in unison. I turned and left the joke shop after this not actually bothering to buy anything. I made for the nearest candy store and bought a pigs supply of sweets. I ended up leaving with two packets of Tim tams, a large in of Milo, ten milkos, five redskins, four strawberry freddo's, seven king size snickers, three large bags of peanut M&M's, three chocolate frogs, two bags of berties every flavor beans and just for good measure a big bag full of Chico babies, fake teeth, milk bottles, sour gummy worms, gummy bears and sour coca cola bottles all sent to your dorm. I was terribly happy that the school provided soft drink for us at our disposal.

Finally, I made my way back to our dorm, took out my dress, and hung it up carefully on the back of my door stunned and amazed at its beauty and glamour. I took a bath with strawberry and apple bubbles and washed my hair with the sun silk summer care shampoo and condition making my hair smell of coconuts making me feel very tropical. I washed my skin with Johnson baby soap and toned it with Neutrogena clear pore toner finally applying dove essential nutrients moisturizing lotion. I sprayed my hair with strawberry detangler. I had exfoliated my skin as Malfoy had told me in small circles working from the top to the bottom not forgetting to shave. I applied fake tan to my sexy smooth skin making me look even more elegant. I went to wrap my towel, which was on the back of the door around me once the fake tan had a chance to dry when I heard the door click and open not believing in my stupidity I had not locked it. Unable to get to the towel i was exposed and tried to cover freshly shaved self with my hands only barely succeeding but unfortunately leaving my humble firma and perky breasts that were not big nor small exposed. For a while, Draco just stood there open mouthed unable to remember what he was going to say before he was greeted with this uncomfortable sight. For this embarrassing period time seemed to move so slowly.

"I'M NAKED!" I cried out finally making him snap out of it.

"Sorry I didn't think you were in here i was just going to borrow some freeze gel, i really should have knocked I'm so sorry, I'll Ahh go now..." he blundered then shut the door behind him. I pulled my towel around myself finally, picked up my freeze gel, walked over to his bathroom, and opened the door only to find Draco in the same situation I was in earlier.

"Here's the freeze gel, and boy you get undressed fast," i said before i could stop myself. With this, i also turned around and left shutting the door behind me before he could say a word. I applied my concealer under my eyes and on any problem spots of redness and blemish on my face making sure i got it all the way to my eyelids, I then applied my foundation working downwards making sure i didn't get it in my eyebrows, that it also covered all the way to my eye lids and also put it over my lips. I blended it down onto my neck and the edge of my hairline but not in my hair and over my ears using the clean side of the latex sponge i was using to apply it with. I applied my translucent powder with a pat and roll technique then brushed it off with a powder brush. I then applied the powder with the pat and roll effect under my eyes making sure i also got it right to the edge of my eyelids. I applied a highlighter eye shadow first going right up to under my eyebrows in an extremely light shade then a darker shade over just the eyelid. Then i applied the first real brown shade in a line from the outside corner of my eye on each side down and in till it reached the edge of my eyelid. I used a cotton tip to run a small line only half of my eyelid across the top just under the bone in my eye. I applied the darkest shade just a little inside the first shade and then used a clean cotton tip to blend it up and out erasing all the hard lines that had been there before. I then applied my eyeliner to the bottom of my eyes and used liquid eyeliner thin in the center of my eyes making it fatter towards the middle and thinning it out again just a little to the outside. After this i applied my mascara and while this was drying my blush starting from the inside of my cheek in line with the bottom of my ear up in circle movements to the top of my ear. I brushed my teeth before adding the final touches of gloss with a hint of reddish lipstick making my lips look like plump strawberries. I tied my hair into a bun with two small pieces of fringe hanging down which i wrapped around my finger and sprayed with freeze spray to make it hold. I was almost ready. Tonight Harry would finally notice me I looked like a goddess. Simply irresistible. I sprayed on my perfume Revlon's pink happiness. Little did i know that Harry wouldn't be the only one to notice me tonight.

Chapter Eight.

Every Me and Every you

At seven, I made my way to the rose garden the diamantes on the top of my dress gleaming in the moonlight. When Draco finally noticed i was there his face looked almost pained.

"Hermione, Hermione, I'm so proud of you, you found a gem in that store a real gem you look like an angel."

"Why thank-you," I curtsied the blue cotton ribbon on the bottom of my dress shimmering alike t the silver cotton ribbon around my waist tied at the back in a little bow beneath the drop with crisscrossed straps covered in diamantes as the rest of the top half, like the gold cotton ribbon around my neck and running down the sides cutting a line into the black cotton ribbon at the end of my triangular sleeves. The bottom was just a free flowing red velvet skirt the blue cotton ribbon attached at the very bottom hem the dress.

Draco looked dashing in a formal black suit with a shirt underneath with all the colors of my dress swirled around on it Disney characters running around and chasing each other or simply just doing what they liked. In complete silence, he handed me a large black velvet box, which contained a matching necklace and bracelet to my earrings and also a ruby ring for my hand.

"You look amazing and I am so proud of you that I want you to have these no excuses just take them. My sister would have wanted me to give them to you." He put them on for me and then picked a red rose from the garden and handed it to me, I did the same for him and stuck it in his shirt pocket whilst i decided to carry mine.

"Shall we go Valentine?" He asked bowing low, I giggled and curtsied before taking his arm. "You really look like a goddess Hermione," he whispered in my ear.

"Thank you Draco, i could never have done it without you." I beamed at him. In silence, we walked to the ball and as we arrived, we had to wait twp minutes before we could enter.

"Introducing Head Boy Draco Malfoy and Head girl Hermione Granger." As head boy and head girl we were the only two to have, our names called respectively as we entered with our partner. No one had actually expected us to show up together. Everyone in the hall turned to stare at us like fish in an aquarium except my mouths didn't open every two seconds for air.

"Oh my god," one person started breaking the annoying silence and then the hall was full of gossip and scandal again.

"What are they together or something?" another questioned.

"Aren't they cute they make a gorgeous couple," another cooed.

"Wow she looks amazing. Never even noticed. Lucky Draco i wouldn't mind being able to hit that hot piece of ass whenever I wanted to," said some disgusting pig. But all the voices and gossip and people looking at her didn't matter compared to the sour look of unhappiness on his face. Over waltz, Lavender Brown the school slut and she puckered up her lips and kissed Harry. I almost was about to pick her up and throw her to the other side of the room but before i could take one step i felt a strong hand holding mine and figured two could play at this game. Lavender wore a tacky short dress that was corny as it is Lavender that did nothing to hide her skin and bones body and when she sat down displayed her hidden treasures for all to see.

"May I have this dance Milady?" Draco bowed again to me. Again i giggled a curtsey and let him take me in his arms putting one hand on my waist and holding my hand with the other as i placed my other hand on his shoulder and my head on his chest. Wow his heart was beating fast i thought to myself. A slow song began which i recognized as Kate Derouge's maybe tonight. I listened to Draco's soft and sweet voice as he sung along to it.

_I've been holding on, to a love gone wrong it's true for _

_too long _

_The hurt it left inside made me wanna hide too much _

_than i do _

_I'm not afraid to be alone the truth is I'm all right _

_but something has been missing from my life_

_Maybe tonight maybe I'll fall _

_Maybe he'll crash through my walls_

_Maybe at last love will come back and take me deep into his arms _

_Maybe the heart that comes apart finally mends_

_Maybe tonight I'll finally fall in love again_

_Cried alot of tears, faced alot of fears _

_To get right here_

_Every chapter ends before the right one can begin again,_

_In this story of love_

_Maybe tonight maybe I'll fall _

_Maybe he'll crash through my walls_

_Maybe at last love will come back and take me deep into his arms _

_Maybe the heart that comes apart finally mends_

_Maybe tonight I'll finally fall in love again_

_I'm ready for another chance and right thats enough _

_I know I will survive what ever comes_

_Maybe tonight maybe I'll fall _

_Maybe he'll crash through my walls_

_Maybe at last love will come back and take me deep into his arms _

_Maybe the heart that comes apart finally mends_

_Maybe tonight I'll finally fall in love again_

_Maybe this time i'll find a love that never ends_

_Maybe tonight i'll finally fall in love again_

_Maybe tonight i'll finally fall in love again_

_Maybe tonight i'll finally fall in love again_

_Maybe tonight i'll finally fall in love again_

another slow song that i knew as Avril Lavigne's Fall to pieces started as i snuggled a little closer into the warmth Draco radiated.

_I looked away then I looked back at you,_

_You tried to say the things that you can't undo,_

_If I had my way I'd never get over you,_

_Today's the day I pray that we make it through._

I felt a tap on my shoulder and a slight cough only to see Harry. I turned out of Draco's to face him properly.

_Make it through the fall, Make it through it all._

"What potter?" I asked impatient at the disruption of my peacefulness.

"Hermione? Can I talk to you in private?" His cute face staring at me looking honestly hurt.

"Afraid of public rejection? Anything you have to say you can say here or I won't listen." I was being stubborn something else Draco had told me.

"Please Hermione, I'm sorry,"

_And I don't wanna fall to pieces I just wanna sit and stare at you._

_I don't wanna talk about it _

_And I don't want a conversation I just wanna cry in front of you._

_I don't wanna talk about it_

_'cause I'm in love with you._

"Are you jealous cause you think Draco's getting your goodies?"

"What more can I say but I'm sorry Hermione?"

_You're the only one I'd be with till the end._

_When I come undone you bring me back again._

_Back under the stars, Back into your arms._

"You hurt me Potter!" I snapped, "You hurt me badly, think about it you said and I quote "you know what Hermione i did toy with you, lead you on, hurt your feeling and tell everyone that i had done so. However, you want to know why Hermione? you have always been a know it all bitch who always had to be right and have her way and I'm sick of it your nothing but an up-tight frigid bitch and no one with a brain would want someone as plain and annoying as you" you remember that potter? After you publicly humiliated me? Well look at me Potter look at me!" I began to cause a scene trying to stay calm while i still felt hysterical.

_And I don't wanna fall to pieces I just wanna sit and stare at you._

_I don't wanna talk about it _

_And I don't want a conversation I just wanna cry in front of you._

_I don't wanna talk about it_

_'cause I'm in love with you._

"I'm not what you labelled me anymore and you know it, i am a bigger and better person because i got on with my life and didn't let you destroy me like you wanted to."

_Wanna know who you are, Wanna know where to start,_

_I wanna know what this means._

_Wanna know how you feel, Wanna know what is real._

_I wanna know everything... Everything._

"Hermione, I don't know what to say... I was wrong i shouldn't have said those things to you about you and i should never have hurt you. Please forgive me" He looked like he was about to cry... really cry.

_I don't wanna fall to pieces I just wanna sit and stare at you._

_I don't wanna talk about it _

_And i don't want a conversation I just wanna cry in front of you._

_I don't wanna talk about it._

"You only say that now Potter because I am beautiful and you can't have me! Please excuse me I have nothing further to say and I would like to get a butterbeer." Everyone was stunned. Hermione Granger had just lost her patience with Harry Potter who used to be her biggest crush and best friend.

"And Potter, to think i would fall for a phoney apology like that. You really are a dickhead!"

_And I don't wanna fall to pieces I just wanna sit and stare at you._

_I don't wanna talk about it. _

_And I don't want a conversation I just wanna cry in front of you._

_And I don't wanna talk about it_

_'cause I'm in love with you... _

_I'm in love with you, _

_'cause I'm in love with you._

_I'm in love with you... _

_I'm in love with you._

It had been so hard for me to say that, i watched from the table full of butterbeer and snacks in mortification as he walked back to his prize slut and snogged her.

"Sorry babe, the frigid bitch has cobwebs between her legs and isn't interested I tried." he said as loud as he could... "Let's make that threesome a twosome." Behind her back he hi-fived his friends and I was glad i wasn't her but still i felt jealous and I wanted him more than anything now. I wished I hadn't said the things I said. Ron would hate me, Harry would never speak to me again and he was sleeping with Lavender. I felt sick like the whole room had moved like a dragon had stomped his foot right outside the door but no one but me noticed this change in scenery. I dropped my butterbeer and ran past a bewildered Draco and a stunned crowd all eager from some more gossip. I ran all the way to the rose garden, threw my red rose to the floor, and pummelled it with my fists.

"What did that rose ever do to you?" Malfoy joined me he knelt on the ground and wrapped his arms around me letting me sob into his chest never asking questions not even saying a word just letting me sob until finally the tears subsided.

"Do you feel better?" he handed me a black handkerchief from his pants pocket.

"It should have been me," i felt more tears threaten my eyes with their approach, "I love him not her, she can have any man she wanted, all i ever wanted was him was it too much to ask?"

"If it helps she can never have me," he smiled as i snorted at his comment and lit two joints we leaned against the stone seat at the front of our garden looking into the vast blackness beyond our room i leaned into his chest ad he wrapped his arm around me. "Hermione I have something to tell you," he looked into my big brown eyes eager from him to say what he had to say. For a moment, he felt like he didn't have the courage to go on. He couldn't say what he felt inside him like fire. So he leaned in and he kissed me softly but sweetly on the lips, just a lingering brushing of our lips together that radiated warmth comfort and the soft scent of marijuana on our lips.

"I love you, I have for so long and all i ever wanted was for you to open your eyes and see how i felt about you. All i ever wanted was for you to notice me like you wanted Harry to notice you. I was jealous that you did all this," he waved his hand up and own to indicate he meant my transformation," for him when I have loved you all along, when all I wanted was for you to do this all for me." From the hall, i could hear the sounds of placebo coming to us and I kissed him back. I deepened the kiss and he held me close his tongue fighting mine with supremacy, i pulled at his jacket and he obliging took it off.

_Sucker love is heaven sent._

_You pucker up, our passion's spent._

_My hearts a tart, your body's rent._

_My body's broken, yours is bent._

_Carve your name into my arm._

_Instead of stressed, I lie here charmed._

_Cuz there's nothing else to do,_

_Every me and every you._

I pulled at his tie and had started to unbutton his shirt when he broke off the steamy and intimate kiss.

"Are you sure?" he looked concerned but it was hard to take him seriously, when he looked so sexy with my lip-gloss smeared over his lips. I nodded in reply and he picked me up like a husband picking up his bride to carry her over the threshold of their new home and took me to the plush white rug in front of the fire. He went to his room and got a pillow and blanket stalling to make sure I was not going to back out of this.

_Sucker love, a box I choose._

_No other box I choose to use._

_Another love I would abuse,_

_No circumstances could excuse._

_In the shape of things to come._

_Too much poison come undone._

_Cuz there's nothing else to do,_

_Every me and every you._

_Every me and every you,_

_Every Me...he_

He placed the pillow under my head and the blanket over me and then finally laid down beside me and kissed me feverishly. eventually after much pulling, pushing, and temperament at our inexperience we lay fully naked beside each other.

"What am I supposed to do?" he asked me making me want to laugh if this wasn't such a serious moment. I took his hand and placed it on my breast he pulled me close to him and he ran his fingers over my nipple almost expertly making me feel sensations i had never felt before. I felt lust control my body and I began to want it more. he ran his hand over my trim and fit waist to rest on my firm backside.

_Sucker love is known to swing._

_Prone to cling and waste these things._

_Pucker up for heavens sake._

_There's never been so much at stake._

_I serve my head up on a plate._

_It's only comfort, calling late._

_Cuz there's nothing else to do,_

_Every me and every you._

_Every me and every you,_

_Every Me...he_

He captured my lips once more with his own and it was his turn to take my hand and he pressed flat against his taught and well toned chest and ran it down his stomach to something i had never seen let alone felt. He was almost about to laugh if the situation had not been so serious at the surprised doe eyed look on my face which i knew he found amusing. I ran my hand in his up and down his well-endowed asset and groaned in pleasure finally letting go to let me do the job on my own. I then felt his hands seeking entrance in between my legs to which i obliged opening them slightly. He ran his hand against my clit making me grow wet quickly making my insides turn to jelly and i knew i was almost at climax. He slipped one finger inside me driving me crazy. He pushed me onto my back and climbed on top of him.

"Are you sure?" He asked again. I nodded my head.

"Are you?" I asked teasingly. His only reply to this was to capture my lips once again in his own and slowly he entered me

_Every me and every you,_

_Every Me...he_

_Like the naked leads the blind._

_I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind._

_Sucker love I always find,_

_Someone to bruise and leave behind._

_All alone in space and time._

_There's nothing here but what here's mine._

_Something borrowed, something blue._

_Every me and every you._

_Every me and every you,_

_Every Me...he_

Pain struck me in bare moments only to be replaced by pleasure moments later. His body collided with mine as we bucked at each other trying to find a rhythm together. He held and sucked my breasts as he entered me. He rubbed his body against mine bringing me to my climax twice before i finally felt limp like a rag doll. We continued this our bodies sweat mingling together in front of the fire running into my bellybutton filling it with sweat like he will filling me with him. Again, the feeling of climax hit me as i felt something hot surge through my insides and Draco finally collapsed on top of me after kissing my forehead.

"I love you Hermione Granger," he told me looking into my eyes his forehead resting against mine. Suddenly this felt wrong. I had done this for the wrong reasons and I had never felt the same for him. I felt guilt heavy guilt.

_Every me and every you,_

_Every Me...he _

_Every me and every you,_

_Every Me...he _

_Every me and every you,_

_Every Me...he _

I rolled him off of me and he knew that something wasn't not right and the love we had made had been made for the wrong reasons and thought i had said i had been fine I really had been lying all along to the both of us.

"I'm sorry Draco I could never love you back the same way," I slipped out from underneath the covers grabbed my dress and made my way to the bathroom with haste.

"I understand," I heard the whisper wavering from a voice that sounded as though it was about to cry, like it's world was just crushed in ten simple words, before i heard silence complete silence but that was outside my head inside my head was screaming and yelling and crying and going on overload all of my confusion had gotten the best of me. I could not believe what i had just done. I had just lost my virginity to Draco Malfoy! I slammed the bathroom door behind me locking it and climbed quickly into my dress ignoring the blood between my legs. I leaned against the wall, slumped down to the floor, put my head in my hand, and cried. It was supposed to be Harry I gave my virginity to he was the one i wanted he was the one for me. Why had i done something so stupid? Draco was definitely not Harry and now I had hurt him more than, if i had straight up rejected him. Now my actions would have consequences. Consequences i did not want to see or know. I ran a hot bath and left the tap dripping hot water so i would not feel the cold creep up on me and I could finally be at peace. I sat in the bath fully clothes and transformed my wand into a sharp razor blade. I had quickly ransacked my cupboard for some sleeping pills and taken my never-ending bottle of Jim beam with me. I swallowed the all the pills in the packet and drank half a bottle of Jim beam. When i was drowsy I hacked messily at my wrists not caring about the blood that was spattering on my face just hoping that the after life would be kinder than the one I was about to leave.

_Every me and every you,_

_Every Me...he _

Chapter Nine

Goodbye My Lover

Malfoy dragged himself from the floor, put back on his underwear, and put the rest of his clothes on the couch as he cleaned up after our little late night escapade the sounds of James Blunt's Goodbye my lover wafted up from the great hall where the Valentines ball was still in full swing. He flicked his wand and cleaned the red blood on the white rug without as much as a trace of what had just transpired. He went into my room to apologies to find me not in there he decided i would be crying in the bathroom. He knocked on the door and when he did not get an answer, he got worried. After three minutes of knocking and calling panic seized, him and he knocked down my door not thinking of using his wand.

_Did I disappoint you or let you down?_

_Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?_

_'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,_

_Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won._

_So I took what's mine by eternal right._

_Took your soul out into the night._

_It may be over but it won't stop there,_

_I am here for you if you'd only care._

When he entered the sight that greeted him made him feel sick to his stomach. There was the angel he had just felt underneath him whose body he had loved and brought to its highest point in personal pleasure alike to the pleasure I had given him, seemingly asleep in a bath of my own blood. My face white as a sheet, my eyes peacefully closed and a small smile on my face hoping in death I would find happiness. He rushed to my side wanting it to be an illusion wanting it to be a joke or a dream as long as it wasn't real.

_You touched my heart you touched my soul._

_You changed my life and all my goals._

_And love is blind and that I knew when,_

_My heart was blinded by you._

_I've kissed your lips and held your head._

_Shared your dreams and shared your bed._

_I know you well, I know your smell._

_I've been addicted to you._

"Hermione what have you done?" He asked the silence his eyes full of unshed able tears for the love he couldn't save.

_Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend._

_You have been the one. You have been the one for me._

_Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend._

_You have been the one. You have been the one for me._

He put his hand in the dark red water, which contained the juice of my life. Disgusted by what he would find but knowing he had to go on. He had to know if he could help. He sought out my hand but what he found was far worse than what he wanted. He felt the hacking of my wrist and he wanted to throw up in the bathtub that i was bathing in my blood in. I felt as if the world he had known and loved had been blown out of proportion if not apart.

_I am a dreamer but when I wake,_

_You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take._

_And as you move on, remember me,_

_Remember us and all we used to be_

_I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile._

_I've watched you sleeping for a while._

_I'd be the father of your child._

_I'd spend a lifetime with you._

_I know your fears and you know mine._

_We've had our doubts but now we're fine,_

_And I love you, I swear that's true._

_I cannot live without you._

He lifted what was left of my hand hanging loosely from my wrist from the bath my blood was still pouring from my veins but he knew from my face and my skin that i was beyond help to him i was dead. He kissed the wound my blood on his lips; two tears feel from his eyes to my wrist.

_Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend._

_You have been the one. You have been the one for me._

_Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend._

_You have been the one. You have been the one for me._

_And I still hold your hand in mine._

_In mine when I'm asleep._

_And I will bear my soul in time,_

_When I'm kneeling at your feet._

The water changed from red to clear in a matter of minutes.

_Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend._

_You have been the one. You have been the one for me._

_Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend._

_You have been the one. You have been the one for me._

My eyes fluttered open and i remembered that I was in the bath and then I had remembered what I had done and why i had done so beside the bath was Malfoy his eyes red and swollen with tears his face a mix of sadness and happiness torn between his emotions his lips red with my blood.

_I'm so hollow, baby, _

_I'm so hollow._

_I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow._

_I'm so hollow, baby, _

_I'm so hollow._

_I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow._

Anger filled my like a ball of fire and rage bigger than the sun where my heart once was there was only pain, hate, blame, guilt and anger ever burning anger.

"What did you do to me Malfoy?" i croaked at him his face now just a look at surprised.

"I don't... I don't know..." he stuttered in reply.

"Why didn't you leave me to die," i said calmly making it cut into him more, "didn't you hear me I don't love you," i delivered this blow tactfully, "Why can't you just leave things be? If you hadn't changed me or helped me, you would never have loved me."

"You know that's a lie."

"No, you know it's the truth and don't want to admit it." I pulled myself from the bath my dress weighing me down filled with water but rather than take it off in front of Malfoy i just tried to move with it.

"Hermione, you have too much to live for. Why can't you see that? You waste it away on precious potter who treats you like shit and doesn't care! You are so much better than that and you know it."

"Oh and doing you is doing better?"

"No it isn't and that is not my point! You are too smart for that!"

"Yes Malfoy I'm so smart that i slept with you, that's really intelligent."

"JUST SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME!" He yelled for what i thought was the first time. '"I wish you would listen to your heart instead of your head when it comes to love. If you had listened to your head, you wouldn't have just lost your virginity to me and if you had listened to your heart, you wouldn't have killed yourself. You wouldn't have let me give you mine. How do you think i felt when i found you dead right after i gave you my most precious possession? After i gave you my heart and you tore it to shreds dammnit... I don't care if you don't love me but i don't think i could live knowing you had killed yourself because of me so stop being so damn bloody selfish!" I pulled back my hand and slapped him across the face leaving a nice red mark on his cheek and a small cut from the gem in my ring.

"I gave you what you wanted Malfoy how is that selfish? I gave you my body but I will never give you my heart Malfoy," I spat in his face, turned on my heel and stormed from the bathroom back to my room and took of my heavy wet dress and muttered a quick drying spell so it wouldn't grow mould and threw it in with the rubbish under my bed. I braved my way back to my bathroom where Malfoy was still sitting on the floor staring into space. Without so much as a word to him, I picked up the bottle of Jim beam from the floor beside the bath and picked up the tablet packets. At least i would have no troubles sleeping. I locked my room solidly once i got back inside the warmth of it and sat on the edge of the bed the bottle Fred and George had given me. I pulled out my chocolate stash and started to pig out and drink heavily, finally fully sedated by alcohol chocolate, sugar and a few too many joints I remembered something.

When I had died my should had lingered behind. I had not been my time. I had seen Malfoy come in and seen the pain in his face and most of all I could feel the love and sadness in his heart. I could feel everything he had felt. He had leaned over my dead body and kissed the wound that had caused to be fatal and tore is heart to pieces. I had watched him cry and watched as my body had slowly come back to life and eventually all had been black and I had been alive again. I looked at my wrists to see two thin ugly scars that you wouldn't see if you weren't looking. Love had saved me, just like Harry's parents. Only love and the truth would set me free.

Chapter Ten.

Something about Harry

I awoke the next morning with a heavy head and a heavier heart. I struggled to the kitchen tormenting myself whether i should go through the rose garden or the common room, which i decided i would go through the rose garden.

I pulled out a coffee cup and boiled water the muggle way added coffee to my cup honey and mixed it in then added milk so the hot water would not burn the beans. I poured in the water and let it cool adding a dash of condensed milk and cream.

While the coffee cooled, i made my way back through the rose garden and my room to my bathroom. I washed my face with cold water and threw up immediately after ward miraculously throwing up all the pills i had consumed the night before. I brushed my hair for a second and decided t leaves it bushy and unkempt. I washed my mouth out ridding it of the foul taste of vomit all the while trying to avoid looking at the scene of the previous night's crimes all the while. I went back to my coffee and sipped it. I felt much better after i had thrown up and drunk the coffee. I waved my wand and the dishes began to do themselves. I went to my closet and pulled out a 3/4 length tight white t-shirt and a full length black cotton gypsy skirt which had black cotton ribbon trimming all over it. I put on my ruby necklace removing the presents Malfoy had given me the night before and putting them back in the box he had given me along with the earrings, which I placed, in front of his door. I put on the small ruby studs the Weasley's had given me as a birthday present in my ears. I made my way to the great hall and sought out the mop of messy red hair I needed someone to talk to that would keep my secret. I found him and sat beside him stealing his toasted bacon and cheese sandwich from his hand.

"Hey that's my... Hermione! Hey good to see you! I must say you looked hot hot hot man i wish my boyfriend was hot like you hot."

"Why thanks Ron," my cheeks burned at his comment.

"Yeah Ron you weren't the only one who noticed it seemed Malfoy couldn't seem to wait to run after you after you ran off," Harry sulked. In my haste, i had missed his presence completely. I had almost had a heart attack!

"Harry Look I'm really sorry about the things i said last night okay i was out of line and so was Malfoy and if it means anything to you i told him where to go last night. And I'm sorry about the dick head thing too."

"Awww Hermione babes that's all you had to say. I'm sorry about everything i have done too i really hurt your feelings and let my pride get in the way of our friendship. But were you really dating Malfoy?" I laughed when Harry had finished speaking and we hugged each other tightly.

"No Harry, we weren't dating he just had a big crush on me." we all laughed at this everyone giving us funny looks not knowing what we were laughing at, "He and I made this agreement after Harry and I had a fight that if i talked to him and taught him to cook he'd help me win Harry's heart. He always used at as an excuse though to get close to me only to make you jealous." Together they went red in the face laughing. I was in the golden trio that really wasn't all that golden and pure like thought again... I couldn't help feeling guilty though telling them all of this when i had promised Malfoy who had no one to talk to had alienated himself from his friends to be my friend and had been so nice to me that i wouldn't.

"You did look hot last night Hermione," Harry blushed this time.

"Thanks," i was a bit flustered myself.

"Hey Hermione can you help me and Harry study today?" Ron asked hopeful.

"Sure, hey Harry can i be your study buddy in our classes seeing as my one has a crush on me and makes me feel weird." I asked.

"Sure, I can't stand my partner I'd love to," he slinked his arm around my shoulder. Ron made another sandwich and smiled.

"Arr ye look like a pirate Hermione, what with ye outfit," he feigned pirate accent.

"Yarr all i need is me cutlass, me hook, me eye patch and me 'at, Yarr me hearties to ye water Yarr," i joined in.

"You mean the lake?" Harry asked without an accent making us laugh.

"Yarr," Ron answered for me and we laughed and played playfully as we made our way out of the great hall my arms intertwined with one of theirs. I pretended not to see the blonde head scowling at me as he entered and we left betrayal all over his face.

We got to the lake and the boys pulled out a bag of pot.

"I have a bong and chop bowl in my room if you want to smoke in there."

"Have we been to your dorm before?" Harry asked the question.

"No i don't believe you have," I answered him, "come on let's go!" We walked to my dorm as we had to the lake and came face to face with...

"Is that the..."

"Yes Ron it's the Mona Lisa."

"Why Hello Hermione, Ahh you have friends should i bore them away with the Di Vinci code?"

"We're fine thanks Mona, Bucket," I gave her the password and she opened to the portrait hole.

"Very well see you later dearie."

"Ohhh but i wanted to know about the Da Vinci code!" Ron whined playfully.

"By the way dear," Mona stopped me again, "tell Mr. Malfoy to feel batter soon he looked more of a wreck than you did this morning." My insides had turned into ice at the mention of his name.

"Yes Mona, but you will probably talk to him before I do; he's in a strop with me. See you later." I hurried inside before she could say anything else and she shut behind us.

I led the boys to my room and we sat down on the comfy couches and i lounged on the sofa after i had grabbed the bong, bowl, sisscors, spin and some pot myself when i sat down i remembered something else and pulled out my never ending bottle of Jim Beam. I went to the kitchen and got three glasses and a two-liter bottle of coke. I put everything on the red cedar wood table between us.

"Look what Fred and George gave me," i held up the bottle proudly.

"A bottle of Jim beam? I thought they'd already bought you a year's supply?"

"No Ron, its a never ending bottle of Jim beam, so I want you two to go halves in my years supply chuck a party with it or spike the party drinks whatever, "Drink up boys!" We poured ourselves our own glasses of alcoholic beverage and raised our glasses.

"To best friends," toasted Ron. Harry and I both waited a while and said to best friends in unison and blushed our eyes meeting. He held my gaze and smiled. We all drank.

"Here is to you Hermione good women are scarce," Said Harry.

"Too right why do you think i prefer boys except for the fact that they are so much hotter and normally less trouble than girls excluding Neville who is as much trouble as any woman yet?" He drank to this also. I picked up the bowl and chopped up and added spin and then smoked one passing bongs around the room until we were very drunk and even more stoned. I went to the kitchen to get more candy when on my way returning to my room I ran into Harry who was waiting for me in the rose garden.

"Oh hiya Harry!" I smiled drunkenly.

"Hey Hermione."

"Umm why are we saying hello i thought we had already done that?"

"I don't remember," and with the most unromantic line ever heard he leaned in and kissed me. I was happy i wasn't to big a fan of romance anymore. "Well are you gunna be my girl?" He quoted the band jet cheesily. My heart stopped for what seemed the third time that day. This is what i had been working for, what i had wanted but why did it feel so dirty?

"I love you too Harry," I smiled drunkenly and we kissed again. We walked back to my room. I knew Malfoy was in the kitchen and as mean as it was i had hoped he had seen.

Now our seating changed, Ron sat on his own on a couch only the bong and the bottle to keep him company and Harry and I sat beside each other on the lounge.

"Hey guys i think every year Hagrid gets a new pet, there was fluffy remember him? Wasn't so fluffy was he?" I rambled drunkenly.

"Year one." Ron smiled remembered being slobbered on by the enormous mutt.

"And Aragon."

"Year two," Harry joined in remembering Ron's fear of spiders and his bravery to some with him while Hermione was petrified, "Buckbeak."

"Year Three," I added remembering when my new boyfriend had flown on the back of the giant animal after taming him and being allowed in his company after it had attacked Malfoy.

"Year four?"

"His girlfriend," I giggled.

"Year five?"

"His Family he returned to," Harry laughed at a drunken Ron trying to balance his unbroken wand on the end of his nose.

"Year six?"

"Thor, remember him?"

"Of course who couldn't what about this year?" Harry asked

"A baby... I've heard," i exclaimed.

"Blimey has he really?"

"Ron you sounded just like your old man just then."

"And that's a bad thing I'm proud of my old man."

"is it true Hagrid's missus had a baby?"

"Apparently madam maxine had a baby girl and she's huge only just had her so something though"

"And why didn't i know this?"

"Because Hagrid hasn't been here for a month or so. Probably settling the new babe. I wonder if he'll come back?" I poured more glasses of Jim Beam and cola.

"To hagrid and his pets" I announced adding a fake stuck up accent to go with it.

"To hagrid and his pets!" the boys chorused in return and we all skulled our drinks til we could get no more from them.

"It sounds like the beginning of a letter not a toast." again we laughed

"Another round boys?" I asked as I topped up our drinks.

"To me and Hermoine," Harry called out causing ron to choke on his drink.

"What?" Ron was confused and you could see it on his drunken merry face.

"Harry and I are together Ron."

"Why am I always the last to know?"

"Well apart from us you're actually the first." i poked my tongue out at him.

"Well that's great Hermoine and Harry together at last just how it should be. At last, dinner came and Harry Ron and I stumbled drunkenly to the great Hall laughing in our stoned and drunken state. We hardly had time to smell the sweet food before we wolfed it down gorging ourselves till we wee about ready to burst our munchies taking hold of our animal instincts before we could stop them. Harry slinked his arm around my shoulder and kissed my cheek.

I could feel his eyes piercing my soul from his seat alone on the other side of the great hall. I smiled and not once did i look his way in my mind i had to make my self believe it never happened.

Chapter Eleven.

Jealousy

"Come on Hermoine why not?" Harry whined me almost a month after we had begun dating, "I try and get physically close to you but you never let me really touch you like you know I'm dying too. I wanna see you make out with Lavender you don't have to like her just make out for a little while"

"Why Harry? Why does it mean so much to you?"

"Why does it matter so much to you? You don't want to lose your virginity, you're being frigid and plain selfish!"

"I'm being selfish!" i exploded i had lost my patience wit this topic long ago, "You can't pressure me into it Harry!"

"Then I'll just go ad see Lavender like I always have to anyway," He retorted telling me not for the first time of his constant infidelity. I love him so much that i always forgave him for it but this time i would not stand for it.

"Get Out!" i yelled at him from the top of my lungs after storming to my door and opening it Harry simply shot me a dirty look and walked out of my room i followed him into the common room," and don't you ever think you ca come back this time potter I've had it with you we are so totally over. Oh and here's news for you Potter I'm not the innocent virgin everyone thinks I am," i continued at his retreating back but the last line caused him to stop dead in his tracks, " I fucked Malfoy after the Valentines ball and it was fucking great You were wrong Harry Draco did want e for more than my body He loved me and i gave that away for you, I never thought i would be so stupid as to give away a decent guy for the likes of you potter!."

"Yeah he really wanted you for more than your body that's why he fucked you and let you leave." I sneered at me. I pulled back my hand curled into a fist and brought it down upon his nose blood squirting out of it after i had done so, "You bitch I'll get you for this," he promised before making his way out of the portrait hole leaving me standing bewildered at myself in the common room so i thought alone. But no, i was never alone. I crumbled to the floor staring at my hands wondering what was wrong with me.

"Why do i keep fucking up? Why do i keep doing this to myself it's my own fault," i said aloud to myself not thinking that anyone was listening.

"Yes it is your fault Granger." I felt panicked someone had been listening.

"Sod off Ferret boy."

"Harsh words from the likes of you."

"I said sod off or do you want me to break your nose too?' You'll never be as perfect as you pretend to be Granger."

"Cut the crap would you?

"No I've waited a long time to say this to you and I'm damn well not going anywhere until you hear me out."

"Then I will." I started towards my room when Draco grabbed my arm and forcefully sung me so i landed on the couch with a small "Ummph," not hurt just surprised. "Hey!" i protested to this roughhouse treatment.

"Just sit there and shut up for fucks sake Mudblood!" he bore down on me, "you're such a damn little fake that every time i see you i want to scream at you every time i see you! I know your grades are slipping Granger and I know you are hitting the bottle and you have gotten worse with the pot! You never told anyone about what we did and out of respect for you, for you! The bitch that used me and cut me down when how i felt was obvious all along! I never kept it hidden but I never made it obvious cause i didn't want to get hurt and all the while i was naive to think that one day you'd really see me but know you had to hurt me more than my drunken abusive father who beat me because you were smarter than me ever did... see you even managed to hurt me without meaning too! You hurt me more than the death of my own sister! You betrayed my trust when I needed you most and told your friends things you promised to never tell when I was keeping your secrets all along! And Harry! Let me get started about Harry! You do not love him do you? DO YOU?" he was shouting now his jealousy and hurt all over his face his pain displayed in his eyes so ready to spill tears that his hardened heart would not let him cry.

"No Malfoy I don't love him not anymore, nut you... you're just jealous and when I'm ready to give you another chance you throw a hissy fit! It was not my fault your father beat you and do you think that my life was easier? My father was the same he got drunk and came home to beat my mother for not having his dinner ready and ten at night when it was in the fridge and all he had to do was reheat it who when i was young laid into me and gave me bruises and left marks in places my mother had to hide when she bought clothes so that he didn't see them and make them worse? The only secret i did not keep was that you liked me Malfoy and I was never told I had too. I had Harry Malfoy our deal was done i do not owe you shit. And now everyone will know what we did by the end of tomorrow. Most importantly this is my life Malfoy and what I do with it is my decision!" i poked at my chest livid with rage and ready to draw my wand and curse him to Timbuktu for the rest of my life.

"And you're fucking it up! I saved your life and you are only making a mess of it! You are walking around the school as if everything is fine and dandy as if we never happened but I'll tell you something Granger It did happen! In addition, I know it's all a mask, you never let anyone in anymore, you no longer trust anyone, but you used to trust me, you damn well let me in, so why did you lock me out? What are you running away and hiding from?" He continued the livid argument we were now both beyond rage and beyond reason and the only thing we could do was to keep debating each other welling and swearing as much as we could adding personal insult after personal insult.

'If you hadn't well saved my life i wouldn't be here to fuck it up, you should have left me to die like i had planned to, like i wanted and needed too! I would not have to wear a mask! I would not have to run or hide, I would not have to trust people or let them in and i would not be here to annoy you! You should have fucking well left me to damn die damn you! You should have left me to die!" I yelled back at him also wanting to cry. He became solemn at this and all emotion had left his face.

"You're right granger, you filthy mudblood slut," he paused for a moment while i gave him the funniest weirdest and scariest look he had ever seen, he spat on the floor in front of me where it instantly dried and disappeared you would never had known he had spat there if i hadn't of seen it myself, "I should have left you to die, you were never really worth it." His voice as was his heart cold as a stone made of ice and he turned on his heel and walked lazily to his room.

_Like a freeze-dried rose, you will never be,_

_What you were, what you were to me in memory._

_But if I listen to the dark,_

_you'll embrace me like a star,_

_envelope me, envelope me..._

_If things get real for me down here,_

_promise to take me to before you went away -_

_if only for a day._

_If things get real for me down here,_

_promise to take me back to the tune_

_we played before you went away._

Draco shut the door and put a silencing and fixing charm on his room, he picked up his chair and threw it against the wall shattering it into pieces before it remade itself where it had been before.

_And if I listen to, the sound of white,_

_sometimes I hear your smile, and breathe your light._

_Yeah if I listen to, the sound of white ._

Rage filled and consumed him he began picking up random objects and throwing them then he saw the jewellery he had given me on his bedside table he picked up the black velvet box and threw it with all his might at the door.

_You're my mystery. One mystery. My mystery. One mystery._

_My silence solidifies,_

_until that hollow void erases you,_

_erases you so I can't feel at all._

_But if I never feel again, at least that nothingness_

_will end the painful dream, of you and me..._

_If things get real for me down here, promise to take me to_

_before you went away, if only for a day._

_If things get real for me down here, promise to take me back to_

_the tune we played before you went away._

He raced to where they had fallen and picked them up in his hands feeling his insides crumble. Did he really wish he had just left her to die? Surely he needed her like he needed air to breath, food to eat and water to drink she was a necessity of his life that he couldn't live without. He knew after what he had just said a simply apology couldn't fix the problem he had cause he didn't know what to do.

_And if I listen to, the sound of white_

_sometimes I hear your smile, and breathe your light._

_Yeah if I listen to, the sound of white_

_sometimes I hear your smile, and breathe your light._

_And if I listen to, the sound of white._

He would sing to her, play her the song that had started all this, play the song he had played on the guitar the day they had called a truce. A song that was from his soul, the song he knew had been written to describe how hi heart always felt. He knew it he would sing to her.

_I knelt before some strangers face,_

_I'd never have the courage or belief to trust this place,_

_But I dropped my head, 'cos it felt like lead,_

_And I'm sure I felt your fingers through my hair..._

Thankful he had put a fixing charm on his room he put the jewels back where they belonged and made his way to the library to collect the guitar and his guitar notes and tabs.

_And if I listen to, the sound of white sometimes_

_I hear your smile, and breathe your light._

_Yeah if I listen to, the sound of white._

_The sound of white,_

_The sound of white,_

_The sound of white._

Chapter Twelve.

Listen to you hide.

Everyone was gathered in the great hall for the special school event a talent quest where every year was allowed to compete. All the lights went out except for a few candles and a large spotlight on the stage. In the middle of this large light squinting until sunglasses were applied which made the look more mafia and doubted it really helped.

"Welcome everyone to the Hogwarts Talent Quest spectacular! Tonight he have Amazing muggle magic, drag queens and drama kings, dancers and even our Head boy and Head girl have decided to participate separately of course, Harry potter, Dumbledore and even our very own comedic professors group which is great to see them all working together instead of competing against each other eh? Now if you look in you r magic show guide you will see that our beautiful Head girl Miss Hermoine Granger is up first singing and dancing to a smash dance hit that made DHT a smash in nightclubs and homesteads around the world so here she is our very own English beauty Hermoine Granger with listen to your heart!"

I felt nervous as my name was called; my long black dress clung to my body pumping up my cleavage making them look like two massive mountains and my waist look like an hourglass. The spotlight went out as if on cue as the music started and came back much fainter to reveal me on stage my eyes closed where i moved myself to the beat of the music letting it take control and forgetting my world as it weaved its very own special magic.

_I know there's something in the wake of your smile_

_I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yeah_

_you've built a love but that love falls apart_

_your little piece of heaven turns too dark_

_listen to your heart when he's calling for you_

_listen to your heart there's nothing else you can do_

_I don't know where you're going and I don't know why_

_but listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye_

Immature men in the crowd who were behaving like they had never seen a shapely woman before wolf whistled at me and cheered me on as the rest of the crowd stood in silence as i danced, like no one was watching I dancing blocking them all out. For the first time in a long time i was free and no one would take this away from me.

_sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile_

_the precious moments are all lost in the tide, yeah_

_they're swept away and nothing is what is seems_

_the feeling of belonging to your dreams_

_listen to your heart when he's calling for you_

_listen to your heart there's nothing else you can do_

_I don't know where you're going and I don't know why_

_but listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye_

the dance music continued working its way into my veins before the next lines began my voice sounding like honey and hitting the high notes with ease i think now people were starting to hear my voice. To hear my words. They all knew about the Malfoy fiasco because Harry was terrible at keeping secrets and they wondered if this song was to a special someone sitting in the crowd waiting his turn mesmerised by the beauty standing dancing and singing before him. Finally i opened my eyes and there he was in the very front his face not giving away a hint of emotion like stone the last time we had spoken to each other when he had wished he had left me to die. exactly the same.

_and there are voices_

_that want to be heard_

_so much to mention_

_but you can't find the words_

_the scent of magic_

_the beauty that's been_

_when love was wilder than the wind_

_listen to your heart when he's calling for you_

_listen to your heart there's nothing else you can do_

_I don't know where you're going and I don't know why_

_but listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye_

_Listen to your heart...mm..mmm_

_I don't know where you're going and I don't know why_

_but listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye_

The dance music concluded and the crowd roared and cheered my name whistling and screaming like i had never heard it before but he wasn't shouting cheering or whistling, he wasn't even clapping. I felt heart broken.

"Thank you," i muttered into the microphone before handing it to the presenter and running off stage the crowd still cheering and chanting my name. It took him a good five minutes to shut them up and i was glad that i didn't have to sit amongst them and hear their praises. I sat through two bad muggle magic acts that were still pretty funny, a play and Ron and Neville mouthing I will survive in full Pricilla queen of the desert style which was better than anything i had seen in the night so far, another two songs, Harry's comedy sketch, Dumbledore's animal imitations and the professors stand up comedy which was absolutely hilarious as they were mainly just paying each other out.

"Seeing as our first act was our beautiful Head girl our final act will be our head Boy Mr Draco Malfoy singing Something for Kate's you only hide. My heart raced. we had not spoken since our argument. He looked amazing in a white singlet and black pants his guitar slung over his back. He started to play the opening chords to a song that was so familiar i couldn't put my finger on it but i knew that i had heard it before he stopped suddenly.

"My partner couldn't say the same in her performance but this is to a beautiful woman who stole my heart away, she knows who she is," and he started again.

_so i keep watch and you keep breaking_

_breaking formation to become someone else_

_and your eyes become corridors where i wander _

_with a candle calling out to you_

His voice was rough and edgy and raw but still smooth as silk or honey but he could not hide the emotion inside the words in his voice. I could feel the tears coming to my eyes as he sang this song from his heart to min. I couldn't take it, i turned on my heel and left his voice drifting after me as if it was calling after me to come back.

_And you only hide_

_because you know i'll find you_

A shadowy figure crept behind me silently as my footsteps echoed in the halls like the music that haunted me, the voice that was controlling my heart making it feel tight and constricted but still so ready to burst.

_you say you just want to feel_

_the way you used to feel_

_the way you should feel_

_and i wander through_

_the lost city of you_

He had seen me leave and he knew i would not be alone, he saw who had stolen away after me.

_and you only hide _

_because you know i'll find you _

_and you only hide _

_because you know i'll find you _

He finished playing the final chords and the crowd sat there in silence stunned at this side of Malfoy eventually the applause was so loud that i could hear it as i approached our dorm. As soon as he finished he slung his guitar back on his back and hurried after me eager to be at my side to ease the pain i was feeling. Little did he know the pain i was truly about to feel.

Chapter Thirteen

You Bitch I will get you for this.

"I've got you now bitch," a hard grip grabbed my arm and tightened around my bicep causing a sharp pain in my bicep, "and you're going to do everything I tell you too understand?" I struggled with the iron grip only to receive a sharp blow over the back of my head. "I told you not to move," the voice commanded, "Now you're going to take me back to your room you little slut and you're going to sexually gratify me." With a hard shove from behind, i led the way to our dorm praying that Malfoy would be there to help me but knowing in my heart he would not be there because if he were there he would have passed us already as there was only one way to our dorm. We eventually made it to the portrait of Mona Lisa all the while my attacker standing behind me but i knew from his voice who it was and what he wanted and i felt sick that i also knew how he was going to get it. I wished i was naive and stupid and did not know what was about to befall me. However, i knew. I had hoped that Mona could help but i knew that she was bound in this painting and could not move for what she had done to Da Vinci and now I was to befall almost a similar fate, as I too had no way out. He forced me pushing and shoving into my room and slammed the door shutting, locking and silencing it not letting go of his iron grip that only a seeker who had really worked out could attain. He grabbed my dress from behind ripping from my body and then i knew i really was in danger and only i could really save myself now. i pounded my fists against his hardened chest screaming for him to stop almost begging for him to leave me be but in my heart i knew he wouldn't listen desire controlled him now and i didn't know what to do to ease it except to take this cruel and unfair punishment that was to be dealt to me. I had made my bed now i had to lie in it. He took my fists i was using to fight him against him weakly as all of the fight in me was slowly but surely leaving and bound them tightly to my bed before slapping my face. Smiling he curled his hand into a fist and used it against me branding it into my face and like when my father had done this too me i had tried to hide inside myself but i was finding this a harder than it had once been for me. I prayed for unconsciousness but it would not come. Tears filled my eyes as fear filled my heart and i tried to kick at him to which he bound my legs to the bed after finally after much struggle removing my underwear.

"You're getting what you deserve mudblood," he spat into my bloodstained face as he climbed on top of me.

_Alone you find yourself just hanging, _

_and to fill the hole you cling to all that seems, _

_to hide the little girl that crying, _

_underneath the rage that you let others see._

My obvious discomfort obviously brought him pleasure as he bit and chewed on my nipples making me cry out in pain to which he would punch me again until i had learned to be quiet only to start chewing on my sensitive skin.

_Cause you're dancing dirt into the snow_

_while others look at you on show._

_You're dancing dirt into the snow_

_while all around you people grow_

_And watch you bleed._

_And watch you bleed._

I screamed in agony as he plunged himself into me forcefully not caring that with his forceful thrusts a piece of my delicate insides was tearing away and blood poured from my insides like they were my outsides. He bit and sucked on my skin till it bled all the while leaving me conscious to feel the pain and when ever i was near collapse he would bring me back by spitting in or slapping my face and body as he helped himself to me causing my blood to pour all over the bed.

_So now you look at me, eyes wooden._

_An anchor through your head; crimson for disguise._

_An opal for a wound you carry, _

_heavy lights of pleading someone look at me._

"Harry stop please stop!" i cried out from beneath him.

"No fuck you bitch, you're getting what you deserve mudblood," he retorted laying now into my body leaving behind bruises like the numerous hickeys and bite marks over me. My insides were mere jelly now reduced to nothing my pride in tatters as i took his lie and fed it to myself clinging to it as my only hope of sanity this is what i deserve i told myself over again, this is what i deserve.

_Cause you're dancing dirt into the snow_

_while others look at you on show._

_You're dancing dirt into the snow_

_while all around you people grow_

_And watch you bleed._

_And watch you bleed._

Finally, consciousness left me and i passed out as Potter finished himself off and climbed off of me.

_The more you push through broken glass, the thicker it becomes._

_And the more you turn on broken worlds, the sooner you will need._

_The more you push through broken glass, the thicker it becomes._

_And the more you turn on broken worlds, the sooner you will need_

_A gun._

Unfortunately consciousness reclaimed me with a feeling of warm water trickling down my face and body only to find Potter had spat in my face and on my body again for good measure he unbound my arms and my legs but i had no strength to avenge myself. I curled naked body into a small ball as he the sat on the bed beside me after he had tided himself up and none of the crime showed on his toned and what i once thought sexy body. He tilted my chin up making me look into his eyes.

"Say It mudblood tell me why this happened," He said wanting to rub salt into my fresh wounds.

"I am a mudblood slut and i deserved this," I replied my voice monotone but not letting him see how he had broken me.

"Good girl now you are not to tell a soul you hear me?" i nodded my head weakly and returned to my ball in the middle of my bed falling once again into unconsciousness.

_Cause you're dancing dirt into the snow_

_while others look at you on show._

_You're dancing dirt into the snow_

_while all around you people grow_

All around me was blackness and I was standing alone in the sea of darkness a white dress clinging to my body pushed a breeze i couldn't feel my eyes closed peaceful as though asleep.

"Help!" i cried but my lips never moved this cry came form within. "Help!" i called even louder now and more frantic, "Help!" i kept screaming all the while knowing no one would hear me, as I was not even speaking. I put my hands to my stomach and began clawing at my own flesh. Then i felt a hand reach into my chest and squeeze my heart. "Help!" i cried one last time and then there was nothing but darkness once more. Just me and my old friend the darkness.

Malfoy threw his jacket onto the couch and rolled himself a joint as he made his way to the rose garden to contemplate his situation. He really wanted to talk to me but knew that i was not alone from the sounds he heard that disgusted him of loud moaning and groaning which he knew was her and Potter. What he did not know that those sounds were a by-product of the charm that had been cast earlier and so he thought he knew what was going on in that room and all of his courage had left him. He looked up as the door to my room slammed and out walked a smiling Potter who was fixing his pants and lighting a cigarette. Malfoy felt white-hot rage replace all of his emotions. That whore had slept with Potter while he had poured his heart to her! He had tried to hard and had lost her to Harry Potter. Now he simply felt sick, disgusted and depleted. Potter noticed Malfoy sitting by himself and the two men who both fought for me one my body and the other my heart conversed.

"Good lay," he rubbed in knowing he had heard the noises made by his silencing charm.

"Yeah but i got to fuck her as a virgin, I'm sure the tight virgin i got to fuck was better than the loose slut she is now." Harry laughed at this nodding his head.

"True true, well I'm outta here you know how it is wham bam thank you mam, don't like to stick around while she sleeps like a baby." He waved as he walked out of the rose garden, through the common room and out past the portrait of Mona Lisa giving her a wink as he went.

Draco sat in the rose garden a few moments longer deciding to see if i really was sleeping like a baby. He stood outside my door contemplating if he really should go in or not he heard a soft groan and started to leave when he heard the sound of soft crying.

"Help! Draco Help!" he heard me whimper the sounds of my dream coming to life on my lips, as my lips did not move in my dream.

"Draco!" he scoffed, "didn't potter do it for her?" He instantly felt guilty and decided to go see what it was that i had wanted. He cracked the door open but he was not prepared for the sight that would meet his eyes. He rushed to my side eager to help my unconscious ball of flesh and blood. He ran his hand over my bruised and battered body tears falling from his eyes as he saw the bruises about my legs knowing full well where they had come from seeing them before on his sister.

"Oh Magnolia what has that beast done to do?" he asked the silence now that my groans and cries has ceased. My eyes fluttered open at his words to find Malfoy wit his hands on my body my skin burning as someone had doused me in gasoline and set me alight.

"What did you do to me you bastard?" i croaked my voice hoarse and my memory temporarily erased. He jumped at the sound of my voice his voice a picture of perfect innocence that i did not buy.

"Hermoine i swear i didn't touch you!"

"You make me sick you bastard get away from me!" i hissed my voice cold and emotionless though inside my heart was broken into millions of tiny pieces i closed off my right to emotion. Then my mind did a strange thing and the memories flooded back to me.

"Say It mudblood tell me why this happened," He said wanting to rub salt into my fresh wounds.

"I am a mudblood slut and i deserved this," I replied my voice monotone but not letting him see how he had broken me.

"Good girl now you are not to tell a soul you hear me?"

_I've seen you hanging 'round_

_This darkness where I'm bound_

_And this black hole I've dug for me_

_And silently within with hands touching skin_

_The shock breaks my disease_

_And I can breathe_

I groaned in terror reliving the ordeal over and over again in my mind tears escaped my brave face i had been trying to hold together. I felt warm arms wrap around me and i felt safe just sobbing in his arms.

_And all of your weight_

_And all you dream_

_Falls on me, it falls on me_

_And your beautiful sky _

_And the light you bring_

_Falls on me, it falls on me_

I screamed beating into his chest as he just held me tight and let me scream tears falling from his face for the sister he couldn't save.

_Your faith like the pain_

_Draws me in again_

_She washes all my wounds for me_

_The darkness in my veins_

_I never could explain_

_And I wonder if you ever see_

_Will you still believe_

I quickly ran out of energy and could no longer beat his chest as he held me to his chest his tears falling onto my blood matted hair and we just sat there two lost souls crying from pain betrayal and the loss of innocence.

_And all of your weight_

_And all you dream_

_Falls on me, it falls on me_

_And your beautiful sky _

_And the light you bring_

_Falls on me, it falls on me_

_Am I that strong_

_To carry on_

_I might save my life_

_I might save our world_

_Would you save me?_

"Hermoine, I'm so sorry," he whispered to me, "I promise i will bring you justice to you for what Potter did to you." He kissed my forehead as i fell asleep in my lap and he moved my head onto the pillow covering me with the doona and slipping quietly out of the room locking it after him.

_And all of your weight_

_And all you dream_

_Falls on me, it falls on me_

_And your beautiful sky _

_And the light you bring_

_Falls on me, it falls on me_

Chapter Fourteen.

The Avenger.

After attacking me Potter had decided, he was not yet satisfied and went to find Lavender to take her to "Make out hallway" a dark and secluded hallway with many darker spots for couples to enjoy themselves without being disturbed and you would not notice if you were not looking. Draco knew that this was where Potter would be and after disturbing three or four couples including Ron and Neville he finally found Potter and Lavender.

"Lavender leave," he commanded his voice full of rage," go find everyone else and tell them to leave i have some unfinished business."

"You can't tell me what to do!" he sulked giving him puppy dog eyes trying to bat her eyelashes out of leaving.

"Trust me Lavender you don't want to see what's about to happen," he told her grabbing Potter's arm in his iron grip as Potter had done to me as he tried t run away like the chicken he was.

"See what?" She asked giving Potter a confused doe eyed innocent look.

"Payback." was all he answered her. Getting the message, Potter joined in the conversation finally.

"Lavender leave pet, i believe i need to have words with this ferret son of a death eater. Just do as he says and get rid of everyone else okay dear?"

"Okay babe same time next week?" she asked to which he just nodded her head. She kissed him on the cheek, went, and removed everyone else from the corridor.

When everyone was gone, Draco released Potter and threw him against the wall.

"Why?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"I was only giving that slut what she wanted and what she deserved." Potter retorted. Draco curled his hand into a fist and swung it at Potter missing.

"She didn't deserve to be raped you pig!" he swung again connecting with Potter's stomach winding him for a bare moment and standing again to full height once he had recovered.

"She's a slut, I'm sure she enjoyed it," he smiled disgustingly before adding the blow that would drive Draco crazy, "girls get raped for a reason you know, that mudblood had it coming. If i hadn't done it I'm sure you would have, Daddy would have been so proud if you had," he taunted. White-hot rage filled Draco like nothing he had ever felt before and he wanted to kill Potter with his bear hands something he had never wanted to do. He hated inflicting pain upon others but now he felt differently.

"My father was the rapist, murder not me," he debated controlling the sea of rising anger inside of him.

"Sure what ever Malfoy you were always just like him this year you're just a pussy." Draco tried so hard but he was now pushed beyond the edge of caring and he let his rage consume him throwing a punch at Harry's face knocking him out clean with one hit but he didn't want to stop there and he began kicking him with all his might and when that didn't contain him he got down on his hands and knees and beat into his body venting the last seven years of anger he had felt towards the self righteous prick, for hurting then raping his one true love which he was sure would never love him in return.

"Mister Malfoy!" Snape called seeing the blonde haired youth leaning over a pile of broken and battered flesh the blood all over his face. He was doing a surprise patrol to catch out any students up to shenanigans they were not supposed to be up to but he had not expected to find the blood and gore scene before him. He was stunned at the violence the youth was displaying if not a bit scared. "Draco! Stop it you'll kill him!" Draco turned to look at him and he saw in him another man not the student he had loved like a son for the past seven years.

"That's the point," he growled his blood spattered hand ceasing for a moment before he began to shake the mass below him. Snape fearing for his and the life in Malfoy's hands pulled out his wand.

"You leave me no choice Draco, Petrificus totallus!" Draco froze in a full body bind and lay beside his enemy. Snape looked over the remmanants of the attacked student to see no other than Harry Potter. He picked Potter up disgusted at having to do so and muttered the counter curse for Draco. "Follow me Mister Malfoy," he said disappointed in the youth. He carried Potter to the hospital wing explaining the situation to Madam Pomfrey who looked at Draco and shook her head sadly before Snape led a stunned, mortified, sullen yet proud Draco to his office dungeons. He had done what he had told Hermoine he would do he gave her revenge.

"Never in my life have i seen anyone act so reckless, so immature, and so irresponsible with no care for the well being or even the LIFE of another human being! I should strip you of your Head Boy title straight away but seeing as you have been a son to me for seven years and never have i seen you behave like this I will give you a chance to explain yourself." Draco was shocked, as he had expected expulsion not this.

"Hermoine," was all he could say.

"I need more of an explanation than that!"

'I'm sorry professor I can't tell you what happened, it's a personal matter and i think it best if you got McGonagall to talk to her. It isn't my lace to tell you what happened."

"Very well Draco," he sighed, "but i am very disappointed in you. Never in my wildest imaginings did i think you were capable of such a horrific behavior. So alike to your father in all my life."

"Yes professor, I'm sorry professor."

"I expected so much more than that from you. Well i will give you Monday off and I expect to see you and Miss Granger in your common room after breakfast. We will inform Potter of this meeting and give him a chance to explain but i doubt he can remain conscious or is not brain dead let alone speak on his behalf. That is all dismissed."

'Yes Professor, Thank you professor, again I'm sorry professor," he mumbled as he left the room.

"Get out of my sight," was all that Snape could say in return.

When Draco finally made his way back to the dorm he decided to check in on me. He found me sitting on my sofa smoking a joint a bowl full of chop and my bottle of Jim beam in front of me with a row of dirty empty half-and-half shot glasses, which I had filled, with Jim Beam and cola tearing coursing their way down my cheeks freely. He rushed to my side and enveloped me in a big hug.

"Don't touch me," i pushed him away.

"Hermoine don't do this to me again."

"Do what?"

"Push me away."

"I feel so dirty," i laughed at my own comment, "I'm a mudblood I am dirty." He grabbed my shoulders causing me to wince which he loosened his grip and squatted down in front of the sofa and me his blue eyes searching my caramel hues.

"You are not dirty Hermoine; you're the greatest witch this school has seen in a long time. You may not have magical parents but they did have the most bewitching witch i have ever set my eyes upon. Potter is the dirty one, i found him groping Lavender after all he did to you, Hell I am even dirtier than Potter i just beat him to a pulp in your honor. Snape caught me and he like myself has never been so ashamed of me in my life. That reminds me McGonagall and Snape will be here Monday after breakfast, you have to tell them what happened."

"Malfoy I can't," I whimpered to him softly.

"You have to they'll expel me if you don't!"

"I didn't ask you to beat up Potter!"

"I did it for you!"

"No you didn't Malfoy you did it for yourself to take your anger out on someone for what happened to your sister so I don't care I don't have to and I won't justify or be accountable for your actions!"

"You know what FINE, look after yourself in the future you seem to be doing a great job of it by the looks of things," he bellowed before storming out of my room. I climbed into bed and before I knew, someone was tapping at my door to wake me up.

I pulled the blanket over my head when i finally awoke Monday morning groaning at the annoying tapping noise coming from my door like an alarm clock that would not shut up.

"Go away Malfoy!" i yelled at the shut door but instead found the culprit to be Professor McGonagall who simply opened the door and walked in like i had never answered.

"Get dressed Miss Granger and please come to the common room, this is not a request either this is very serious matter that needs to be discussed. Mister Malfoy says you have just cause for this and I want to hear what you have to say no hurry up," she turned and walked form the room leaving me to get up and get dressed.

I grudgingly got out of bed and pulled out my black t-shirt that read in white block letters "I wish my lawn was Emo then it would cut itself and pair of long black pants with some clean white cotton underwear. I had completely forgotten the state of my face and body so much so that when i saw myself for the first time since the incident i almost passed out. My head felt light as i felt at my swollen left eye and countless black bruises. I had, had a shower before barely being able to stand on my jelly legs before Malfoy had returned from "Avenging me" washing off all the blood while sitting on the shower floor and crying into my hands but all the bruises and cuts had remained. I was lucky all of my teeth had stayed intact though and was thankful for that. I had scrubbed my purple black and blue skin raw trying to rid myself of the dirt i felt all over and inside of me. I had deserved it i told myself. I pulled my hair into a ponytail before getting dressed not bothering to put make up on my face, as I knew it would be no help.

I finally got to the common room to find Professor Snape, Professor McGonagall, a very sorry looking Malfoy and a smug looking Potter who looked in a lot worse a condition than myself...

_Seems like just yesterday _

_You were a part of me _

_I used to stand so tall _

_I used to be so strong _

_Your arms around me tight _

_Everything, it felt so right _

_Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong _

_Now I can't breathe _

_No, I can't sleep _

_I'm barely hanging on _

I would not give Potter the sick pleasure of seeing me cry. I stormed my way up to him and slapped him hard.

"Miss Granger!" McGonagall reprimanded me.

_Here I am, once again _

_I'm torn into pieces _

_Can't deny it, can't pretend _

_Just thought you were the one _

_Broken up, deep inside _

_But you won't get to see the tears I cry _

_Behind these hazel eyes _

"How dare you, you prick! You are pathetic; you have become what we have fought against for all these years! You're no better than Voldermort!"

_I told you everything _

_Opened up and let you in _

_You made me feel alright _

_For once in my life _

_Now all that's left of me _

_Is what I pretend to be _

_So together, but so broken up inside _

_'Cause I can't breathe _

_No, I can't sleep _

_I'm barely hangin' on _

_Here I am, once again _

_I'm torn into pieces _

_Can't deny it, can't pretend _

_Just thought you were the one _

_Broken up, deep inside _

_But you won't get to see the tears I cry _

_Behind these hazel eyes _

"Miss Granger, Explain!" Snape roared at me causing the last strings that had kept me together to snap.

"He raped me!" I yelled back even more furious causing Snape to look like a lost puppy, "The precious golden boy raped me, called me a mudblood, beat me and told me I deserved it! Well guess what Potter looks like you got what you really deserve!"

_Swallow me then spit me out _

_For hating you, I blame myself _

_Seeing you it kills me now _

_No, I don't cry on the outside _

_Anymore... _

I threw myself at Potter in blind fury hitting any part of him i could reach.

_Here I am, once again _

_I'm torn into pieces _

_Can't deny it, can't pretend _

_Just thought you were the one _

_Broken up, deep inside _

_But you won't get to see the tears I cry _

_Behind these hazel eyes _

Draco wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me off Harry.

"I think we've heard enough," McGonagall sighed, "Take her to her room mister Malfoy and then come back so we can hand out the required punishments that we see fit.'

_Here I am, once again _

_I'm torn into pieces _

_Can't deny it, can't pretend _

_Just thought you were the one _

_Broken up, deep inside _

_But you won't get to see the tears I cry _

_Behind these hazel eyes _

"Yes professor," he obliged before dragging me kicking and screaming to my room where he locked me in.

Chapter Fifteen.

When The War Is Over

After taking me to my room, Malfoy sat down in front of the professors awaiting his punishment.

"Please professor Mc Gonagall, Take Mr. Potter to the Hospital wing, God knows he needs it after the bashing Miss Granger bestowed upon him. I will deal with Mr. Malfoy," Snape ordered as politely as his patience would allow him. Mc Gonagall without a word took Potter's arm and led him past Mona to the hospital wing.

"Detention for two months and seventy five points, as much as i hate to take them, from slytherin. I doubt this will matter to anyone in your house as they wont know what potter did or your reason behind it, you did beat the golden boy to a pulp. The dark lord would have been so proud of you. You really scare me sometimes Mr. Malfoy but it is in honor and though i am not fully filled in with your connection with Miss Granger I will hope that it was in her honor and not your own personal pleasure that you did so. I am for some reason proud of you for it, he did deserve it and that's why you're getting off easy, even though i know deep inside you were itching to do this to him, understand?" It was more of a statement than a question really.

"Yes Professor, thank you," was all he could mumble in reply.

"You look after her you hear? I am afraid potter won't get off easily and i would believe that she will be emotionally unstable for a while." With this professor, Snape stood and left himself f leaving Malfoy alone with his thoughts. He decided to lie on the couch and lit a joint to ease his racing mind.

"Ok, I'll help but i won't be changing any nappies you hear? they stink and are almost as big as my head," Malfoy complained serving his detention with a recently returned Hagrid, Madam Maxine and their new child.

"A'right, a'right but here make up a bottle while I change this Diaper," Hagrid mumbled rubbing his eyes from lack of sleep as the child wailed continuously in the back round. Malfoy boiled her giant bottle the size of his arm and filled it with watered down milk. He passed the bottle to madam maxine who wearily took it and quickly shoved it in the infant's obviously impatient mouth. It sucked quietly until its eyes finally closed. When it finished its bottle, it was Malfoy's job to burp it, which was a lot easier, said than done. The child was as big as a first year and just as heavy without the capability of standing on its own. He had to hold her up with one hand and thump her back with the other without hitting too hard until it burped its leftover milk all over his back. Finally weary from his detention he headed covered in baby vomit back to our dorm where he washed himself furiously.

Harry sat all alone in the hospital wing brooding on his recent expulsion from Hogwarts and his inability to enroll at any other schools. The sky outside was dark and stormy and the door creaked open. In the night, the white dress surrounded by the darkness floated over the floor as the pale skin of an angel skimmed towards him.

"Harry?" My face was healed and I looked as perfect as the night he had seen me at the valentine's ball, "I want you to know something Harry, You disgust me and I hate you." I turned around and walked out as quietly as i had come. I did not know I would be the last person to see him alive.

_I open my eyes i try to see but i'm blinded by the white line._

_I can't remember how i can't remember why I'm lying here tonight_

_And i can't stand the pain, and i cant make it go away._

_No i can't stand the pain_

_How could this happen to me, i've made my mistakes_

_go nowhere to run the night goes on it starts fading away_

_I'm sick of this life i just wanna scream_

_How could this happen to me._

_Everybody's screaming I try to make a sound but noone hears me,_

_I'm slippin off the edge I'm hanging by a thread_

_I wanna start this over again_

_So I try to hold onto a time when nothing matters_

_and i can't explain what happened_

_And I can't erase the things that i've done_

_No I cant_

_How could this happen to me, i've made my mistakes_

_go nowhere to run the night goes on it starts fading away_

_I'm sick of this life i just wanna scream_

_How could this happen to me._

_i've made my mistakes_

_go nowhere to run the night goes on it starts fading away_

_I'm sick of this life i just wanna scream_

_How could this happen to me._

Harry looked at his hands. He wished Malfoy had killed him almost as much as he wished he could rewind the year, start again, and tell me how he had felt all along and wished he had not played hard to get himself. What was life anymore? He had called me a mudblood, he had raped me deeming me a slut after a one-night stand I had, had. How many girls had he had sex with? He felt sick in his stomach, he had no pride in himself anymore and his mind was clouded as the night sky with depression. He had been expelled and had charges against him. He knew he would be bound for Azkaban where he felt he had belonged, he longed for the dementors kiss, and he felt he would deserve it. He deserved death and he longed for it ready to free himself of the world and free the world of him. He took a quill and parchment and a quill and wrote a letter to the one person who he had hurt the most and the only person he would ever feel indebted to his whole life. He planned for her a surprise. He pulled out his wand and pointed it at his head.

"Arvada Kadvara," he whispered to the darkness and he fell to the ground dead like someone had reached into his chest and squeezed his heart. He finally made his way to his afterlife to be with his mother and father killed by the same spell but a different hand though it might as well have been the same.

_may ever star you wish upon and everyhope your hanging on come true._

_Out of everybody in this world there's no one who deserves it more than you._

_I hope you find everything you've been dreamin of,_

_Only good things, no inbetweens just._

_Peace and Love._

_These words did not come easily, still you know i had to write them down,_

_You must know what you mean to me, i wish that you could always be around,_

_I hope find everything you are worthy of,_

_I'm gunna miss you, but i only wish you, _

_Peace and love._

_Peace and love, Tears of joy, kindess of strangers,_

_all of your roads paved in gold by guardian angels,_

_wherever you may be in this world,_

_my salutation says it all,_

_may you always have enough_

_Peace and Love_

_Yeah yeah yeah._

_I let you go unselfishly cause everyone needs time to be alone,_

_well maybe time will bring you back and if it does you'll always have a home_

_i sign my name no one to blame it on because,_

_i'm on your side question of pride._

_peace and love_

_Peace and love, Tears of joy, kindess of strangers,_

_all of your roads paved in gold by guardian angels,_

_wherever you may be in this world,_

_my salutation says it all,_

_may you always have enough_

_Peace and Love_

_may you always have enough_

_Peace and Love_

_may you always have enough_

_Peace and Love_

_may you always have enough_

_Peace and Love_

Madam Pomfrey found Harry Potter the next morning dead by his own hand, his wand still in his lifeless grip his eyes closed as if peaceful and a small smile on the corners of his lips as if he in death had finally found peace. Beside his bed he had found a letter and she shuffled anxiously to tell Mc Gonagall the news and give her the letter so she could decide what the best course of action would be.

A great cry went up when the news was broken to the school and I sobbed into Ron's shoulder knowing now that i was the last to see him breathe and i remembered my hurtful words i had last said to the man who had once been my best friend. The only upside to this news was that Voldermort was defeated with Harry's death had brought his destruction. Mc Gonagall would handle all of the arrangements for his funeral.

I sobbed as Harry was lowered into the ground. Even after he had robbed me of any respect for myself I had still been aggrieved as to the news of his death and it caused me much pain to bury my friend of almost seven years. Ron stood beside me his hand in mine and McGonagall stood a little behind us giving us room to be alone and there beside Harry's grave i told Ron what Harry had done to me and he did not say a word just held my hand tight. In my other hand i held a yellow rose. The rest of the school was assembled for his funeral to tell the stories of his life and his achievement but i had been there beside him in almost all of his achievements and to live the again would only break my heart as i would remember the pain of the last year when the friendship we had held so dearly had crumbled. Inside i felt as if this was a tragic triumph of sorts but in the same time i grieved the terrible loss. Mc Gonagall tapped me on the shoulder.

"Hermoine i have something for you," she sighed handing me a large envelope and a smaller one sealed with wax. I opened it and was confused at its contents as it fell into my hands, "the last will and testament of Harry Potter, and a personal letter to you." I looked at the will to see that he had left half to me and half to Ron both halves quite large in amount in fact enough that we would never have to work in our lives and could support families with the said income. I handed the will to Ron and as he read it i sat beside his grave and read the last thing Harry Potter had ever written.

_Hermoine,_

_ I just want to say that I am sorry for what i have done to you. I want to think that my death has brought you your deserved justice. They say your teenage life shapes you to become the person you become as an adult. If that is true you will become an amazing woman. Remember Hermoine that which doesn't kill me makes me stronger, i just wasn't strong enough. I have left you and Ron half of everything my parents had left me minus the amounts i have used myself. Use it well._

_With all my love,_

_Harry Potter._

_P.S Draco really loves you girl, i was wrong any guy would love you...(well not Neville or Ron) but he loves you the most. Open your eyes and see it! You were always beautiful to me and always you were the best friend any guy could have. You are and always were loyal, smart and brave. A true Gryffindor. And trust me I'm not being a dickhead this time._

I looked at the sky and the stars. He would watch over me. I blew out the candle beside his grave and tipped the hot wax over his coffin. I threw in the envelope after it and a handful of dirt before throwing in my single rose. I looked back up at the stars and whispered to him.

"I forgive you Harry, I forgive you." I could have sworn on the breeze i heard his sweet soft familiar voice alike to the time he asked me to trust him on his broom.

"Thank you," it whispered to me, "Thank you." and then I knew he was gone but i also knew i would never forget him.

_Aint nobody gunna steal this heart away,_

_Aint nobody gunna steal this heart away._

_When the war is over got get away,_

_Pack my bags to no place and no time no day._

_You and i we used eachothers shoulder,_

_Still so young but somehow so much older._

_How can i go home and not get blown away._

_Aint nobody gunna steal this heart away,_

_Aint nobody gunna steal this heart away._

_When the war is over got to start again,_

_Try to hold a trace of what it was back then._

_All around is chaos is madness,_

_Can't help feeling nothing more than sadness._

_Only choice to face it the best i can._

_Aint nobody gunna steal this heart away,_

_Aint nobody gunna steal this heart away._

_You and I we shared eachothers stories,_

_just a page i'm lost in all it's glories._

_How can i go home and Not be blown away._

_Aint nobody gunna steal this heart away,_

_Aint nobody gunna steal this heart away._

_Aint nobody gunna steal this heart away,_

_Aint nobody gunna steal this heart away._

_Ooooooohhhoooooooo._

Chapter Sixteen

Gamble Everything For Love

When I arrived back at our dorm Malfoy was just sitting at the fire staring into space his eyes red and tears streaming down his face. I knew that he had saved this for himself. he hated crying in front of people and he didn't want people to see his guilt. Everyone had blamed him for Harry's suicide not knowing the real reason behind it. he felt as if he had been the cause of Harry's death, if he had left everything alone it would have been okay and his insides had frozen not knowing of the last encounter I had had with Harry. He would turn into his old self. He would wear the iron mask given to him. He would forget me, treat me like he used to he knew in his heart this is what he had to do as much as he didn't want to.

"Draco?" i asked not knowing of his new promise to himself.

"What mudblood?" he snapped at me his red glassy eyes giving me a stare so hateful that i felt my insides shrivel. Harry had been wrong he did not love me anymore.

"Mudblood? what are you talking about Draco?" I questioned him again.

"You heard me granger, I don't have to justify myself to you now what do you want?" he continued in his icy and uncaring tone.

"To say I'm sorry," I tried to ease his pain.

"Look you're too late for sorry Granger," he quipped not letting me in not even for a second.

"Fine ferret boy," i began getting impatient and snappy with him, "But just so you know as head and boy and girl we have to attend the Graduation Ball together! I hope you have a nice night if you don't choke on your butterbeer first!" I stormed to my room happy to have the last words. I grabbed my Jim Beam and my pot and did what i always did when my world went topsy-turvy, I got stoned and i drank always remembering the golden rule Harry had told me.

_Beer than grass, you're on your ass,_

_Grass than Beer, you're in the clear._

I laughed as his words came to me and I raised a toast for him but guilt nagged at me as i ignored his last words to me.

_Gamble everything for love_

_Put it in a place you keep, put your name,_

_You can gamble everything for love if your free._

_You gotta gamble everything for love._

Malfoy sat down at the desk and pulled out a piece of parchment and wrote a note to me only to scrunch it up and throw it in the bin.

_Baby are you cold, are you cold baby,_

_I could wrap you up, wrap you up in my love._

_If you wanna you can gamble everything for love_

_If you wanna you can gamble everything for love._

I took a swig and another and another without any cola once i was well and truly smashed and looked at the now 3/4 empty bottle which had once been full.

"Wow I'm getting worse," i slurred to myself.

_Tell me are you feeling lost, have you crossed_

_In places that you never knew to get through_

_Tell me are you gunna cry all night_

_Tell me the truth and I'll tell you the truth_

_If you gamble everything for love your gunna be all right, all right._

I burst into tears in my state for not only had i lost my best friend since first year but i had also lost the man who had loved me the most. I was so sure that he loved me that in my drunken state i did something stupid though because i was drunk i didn't know it was so stupid.

_Make a list of things you need, Kept it empty_

_Except for number one that love gamble everything_

_Keep it under lock and key,_

_If you wanna you can gamble everything for love_

I opened the door to my room and swayed to the Sofa where he was now sitting and plonked myself down beside him.

_Love me with an open heart, tell me anything_

_We can find a place to start to gamble everything_

_We can set this thing apart, yes we're gunna_

_Gunna gamble everything for love_

"Hey Malfoy!" I chirped drunkenly and he waved his hand in front of his face due to the stench of Jim Beam on my breath.

"Fuck off Granger, how many times do i have to say it you drunken bitch?"

_Tell me do you lose your way each day _

_are there people you don't recognize do they lie_

_Tell me did they make you feel to real_

_Tell me the truth and I'll tell you the truth._

_If you gamble everything for love you're gunna be all right_

_All right._

"Awww you're such a sook," i laughed at him which obviously from his grumpy look made things worse though in my state i though i was funny and laughed at my own comment.

"Stop laughing at yourself granger, don't you know everyone does enough of that behind your back? Besides I am not whatever you think I am Granger," was his reply.

_Ohhh you can go your own way_

_Ohhh you can go your own way_

_Ohhh you gotta go your own way_

_If you gamble everything for love_

_If you gamble everything for love_

"I may be drunk Malfoy but I'm not stupid."

"Coulda fooled me, you're stupid to get drunk in the first place," he quickly responded.

"I knew you cared!" i pointed at him and broke into another fit of drunken giggles. I took another swig of my bottle emptying it only for it to fill up once again. Malfoy just gave me another sour look and rolled his eyes before responding.

"You are such a stupid bitch."

_If you gamble everything for love, gamble everything,_

_put it in a place you keep put your name._

_You can gamble everything for love if you're free_

_You gotta Gamble everything for love._

"I'm smarter than you still! and my grades have slipped but they are still higher than yours."

"You're always higher than me," he insulted cleverly.

"Shut your fucking face Malfoy! You don't know me!" i slung back not so clever now the booze had taken its effect on me.

"That's where you are wrong mudblood," he faced me and looked straight into my eyes, "I know you better than you think, better than anyone else sometimes even yourself, I just wish I didn't."

"No you don't Malfoy, don't lie to yourself, you're only doing this because you love me and you know i don't love you in return even after everything you have done for me."

_Tell me are you getting hurt is it worth it_

_Tell me are the people strange are they changed_

_Tell me are you letting go do you know_

_I'll tell you the truth if you tell me the truth._

"Now you listen to me mudblood he grabbed my shin and once again stared icily into my eyes, " i thought i loved you but i was wrong, i just wanted to take your virginity, find out your secrets and break your heart just like i told Pansy i could. You were just another conquest to me."

_If you gamble everything for love_

_If you gamble everything for love_

_If you gamble everything for love_

_You're gunna be all right_

_all right all right_

"You're so full of shit Malfoy i can see it in your face," I laughed at him.

"No granger, you're the one who is full of shit! You like me maybe even love me but you are the one who is too afraid to admit it."

"Malfoy... I like you," I burst into more giggles.

'You're really pathetic you know that?"

"I know you are I said you are but what am I?"

"A child."

"I am rubber you are glue what bounces off me sticks to you."

"I'm going to bed and i suggest you do too and sleep off some of that booze you ingested you'll probably get alcohol poisoning from all you just drank."

"See i told you, you cared for me!"

"Granger, how many times do i have to say it? I am simply concerned for your health, you know what no i'm not really do what ever you want you stupid mudblood," and he turned to walk to his room. I stood and took his wrist in my hand spinning him around to face me pulling his face closer and closer to mine. He kissed me back full of passion he had kept inside that he had wanted to release onto my lips.

"I told you, you still love me," I breathed once we broke off the steamy kiss.

"Yeah," he breathed onto my lips, "But i can't love you and I can't look back this is how is has to be.

_Never look back we said how was I to know I'd miss you so,_

_Loneliness up ahead emptiness behind where do i go?_

_and you couldn't hear all my joy through my fear,_

_all my hope through my tears did you know?_

_Still I miss you so much._

Draco sat on his lounge and lit a joint but the thoughts of me would not erase themselves from my memory.

_From the bottom of my broken heart,_

_There's just a think that i want you to know._

_You were my first love, you were my true love_

_From the very first kisses to the very last rose._

"She was drunk," he told himself over and over again, "she didn't know what she was doing. He forced himself to believe this.

_From the bottom of my broken heart,_

_Even if time may find me somebody knew._

_You were my real love I never knew love,_

_till there was you,_

_From the bottom of my broken heart._

I brushed my lips with my finger and remembered his soft lips savagely fighting for dominance over mine causing a warm sensation to fill my stomach.

_Baby I said please stay, _

_Give our love a chance for one more day,_

_We could have worked things out,_

_Taking time is what love's all about_

I didn't really like Malfoy did I? That would just be stupid.

_But you put a dart through my dreams through my heart,_

_And i'm back where i started again._

_Never thought it would end._

Draco felt all his emotions begin to bubble to the surface like an overheated cauldron but he tried to squash them like turning down the fire but the fire kept heating hotter and hotter till he could not help his emotions and he put his head in his hands and cried.

_From the bottom of my broken heart,_

_There's just a think that i want you to know._

_You were my first love, you were my true love_

_From the very first kisses to the very last rose._

_From the bottom of my broken heart,_

_Even if time may find me somebody knew._

_You were my real love I never knew love,_

_till there was you,_

_From the bottom of my broken heart._

I walked to the door and raised my hand to knock but at the last minute i chickened out and slumped my back to the door to the ground and put my head in my hands and cried.

_You promised yourself,_

_but to somebody else._

_And you made it so perfectly clear,_

_still i wish you were here_

Draco stood and went to open the door. He stood there for a few minutes trying to think of what to say and how to apologize but he could not find away and he chickened out and leant his back to the door and slumped to the floor.

_From the bottom of my broken heart,_

_There's just a think that i want you to know._

_You were my first love, you were my true love_

_From the very first kisses to the very last rose._

_From the bottom of my broken heart,_

_Even if time may find me somebody knew._

_You were my real love I never knew love,_

_till there was you,_

_From the bottom of my broken heart._

Chapter Seventeen

Oh Hermoine!

I had already awoken the next morning finding myself in Malfoy's hallway I made my way back to my own comfortable bed my head throbbing and my vision blurry not to mention the pricing ache in my side.

A week later Malfoy lit a joint and passed it to Pansy Parkinson the other school slut. She kissed his cheek as he lit another joint to smoke for himself the only thing causing him to scream at Parkinson to get off of him. They were in the common room playing wizard chess and she was constantly trying to make out with him, which he to an extent let her. Parkinson picked up a glass of passion pop and gulped the foul liquid that tasted a mix between passion fruit soft drink and mentholated spirits and smiled.

"Yum." Malfoy shuddered at her taste and couldn't believe she could like the foul concoction that tasted worse than polyjuice potion.

"Pawn to E5," he sighed.

"What's the matter babe?" Parkinson asked confused in her annoying high-pitched Barbie bimbo like voice.

"Just bored is all."

"I know something to keep up occupied," she slid up next to him blowing smoke into his face.

"No Pansy, I don't want to sleep with you out of boredom."

"All right," she sooked, "You know there are heaps of guys who want this," she gestured towards her disgustingly out of proportion body over her odd shaped breasts and her cellulite infected thighs that boys only slept with because they knew she was easy, "why not?"

"I just told you why not Parkinson. Are you deaf as well as blind and stupid?"

"I think there is more to it than that." Just as she said this i walked to the portal. I had started going to see a therapist once a week to talk about my problems and slowly i was weaning myself off the Jim Beam only drinking socially and never out of pity.

"Just shut it Pansy and move a piece, you're so damn slow." I rolled my eyes and walked past them. Malfoy was now dating Parkinson and they seemed to do nothing but fight. Of course i found this rather amusing.

_It's been seven hours and fifteen days, since you took your love away,_

_I go out every night and sleep all day, since you took your love away._

_Since you've been gone I can do whatever i want, I can see whom ever i choose._

_I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant, but nothing can take away these blues,_

_Cause nothing compares, Nothing compares to you._

I could feel Malfoy's eyes following me as i made my way across the room when i finally shut the door behind me Parkinson couldn't help but open her mouth.

_it's been so lonely here, like a bird without a song,_

_Nothing can stop these lonely tears from fallin tell me baby where did I go wrong?_

_I could put my arms around every boy i see, They'd only remind me of you_

_I went to the doctor and guess what he told me guess what he told me,_

_He said girl you gotta try to have fun no matter what I do, But he's a fool._

_Cause nothing compares, Nothing compares to you._

"Stupid mudblood," Parkinson seethed, "try steal my Drakinibbles," she muttered under her breath not thinking that both Malfoy and I could hear her and it was everything i could do not to laugh at her pet name for Malfoy who was staring longingly at my door but quickly snapped out of it hearing Parkinson mumbling and grumbling. He put his arms around Parkinson and kissed her lips.

"I'm sorry baby," he told her, "but sex should be special."

"Ok then," she sighed. Just as i left the sanctuary of my room they kissed again.

"Don't try play god guys, I don't think a pig and a ferret would go well together," i laughed as i went to get a plain glass of coke.

_All the flowers you planted for me, in the back yard all died when you went away,_

_I know that living with you baby was sometimes hard, but i'm willing to give it another try._

_Nothing compares to you._

_Nothing compares to you._

_Nothing compares to you._

_Nothing compares to you._

_Nothing compares to you._

_Nothing compares to you._

Malfoy scowled at me as i walked past him and his precious slut into the library to practice my piano and singing while drinking coke and smoking joints. I knew Draco didn't love Parkinson but it didn't help the lump of jealousy in my stomach that i hid with nasty comments and relaxed attitude. After the encounter with me Malfoy decided out of spite he would take things further with Parkinson hoping to gain my attention.

"Oh Draco," she squealed as he cupped her breast in his hand. He flicked his tongue over her nipple and she moaned in delight, which sounded more like a squealing pig and a squeal of ecstasy. She pulled him down so her whole body was pressing against hers.

"Draco...?" she said puffing and panting heavily.

"Yes Pansy?" he also breathed heavily only faking his pleasure.

"I love you."

"I love you too," he lied. he knew he would have to sleep with her now and the thought alone made him feel sick.

_Coming out of my cage and i'll be doin just fine,_

_Gotta Gotta be down because i want it all,_

_It started off with a kiss how did it end up like this,_

_It was only a kiss, It was only a kiss._

_Now she's falling asleep and I'm calling a cab,_

_while he's having a smoke and she's taking a drag,_

_now they're going to bed _

_and my stomach i sick but its all in my head,_

_But she's touching his chest now _

_He takes off her dress now, _

_letting me go._

_I just can't look it's killing me, and taking control._

I heard her moaning and jealousy almost consumed me. i was no idiot i had made similar but not so disgusting noises with him myself once. It didn't surprise me but it still hurt.

_Jealousy, turning facing to the sea,_

_Twirling love sick lullaby,_

_Choking on your alibi,_

_Pride is just the price i pay,_

_destiny is calling me,_

_open up your eager eyes,_

_I'm Mr. Brightside._

Malfoy brushed his hand up her thigh. This wasn't right in his mind he was picturing the long and elegant legs of Hermoine Granger and not the short stubby and already spread legs of Parkinson.

_Coming out of my cage and i'll be doin just fine,_

_Gotta Gotta be down because i want it all,_

_It started off with a kiss how did it end up like this,_

_It was only a kiss, It was only a kiss._

_Now she's falling asleep and I'm calling a cab,_

_while he's having a smoke and she's taking a drag,_

_now they're going to bed _

_and my stomach i sick but its all in my head,_

_But she's touching his chest now _

_He takes off her dress now, _

_letting me go._

_I just can't look it's killing me, and taking control._

Malfoy lifted Parkinson's terribly short skirt that really didn't need lifting and pulled her underwear to the side. Parkinson was busy rubbing him to get him ready for her not knowing that while she was doing so all he could think about was me. When he was ready she pulled him out of his pants.

_Jealousy, turning facing to the sea,_

_Twirling love sick lullaby,_

_Choking on your alibi,_

_Pride is just the price i pay,_

_destiny is calling me,_

_open up your eager eyes,_

_I'm Mr. Brightside._

"Oh Hermoine!" he groaned loudly as he entered her. In the library I heard this and i was on the floor rolling around in stitches. That was terribly priceless and i wished i could see the look on Parkinson's face.

Unfortunately Malfoy could see her face and even though it was not pretty to start with when she was mad she was definitely trying to put Medusa to shame.

"What did you call me?" Parkinson snapped at him, "you better not have just said that mud blood's name!" she pulled back her hand and slapped him hard. She pushed him off of her and rearranged her clothes so she was somewhat covered, though in clothes like hers decency was hard to come by. "Explain yourself Draco!"

_I never! I never! I never! I never!_

"Pansy I'm sorry it was an accident!"

"People don't say things in the heat of the moment that they normally don't mean! You're a bad liar Draco, why her?"

"Pansy please it only happened once and it was way before we were going out!"

"What happened... Oh no you didn't Draco!" he went bright red displaying his guilt, which was obviously hard to hide after his major slip up.

"You slept with that mudblood bitch? I mean who hasn't i heard she really gets around after Potter died." Draco took her by her shoulders and shook her violently.

"You take that back!" he yelled at her.

"So you're defending her now are you?" she slapped him again but this time harder.

"It was after the Valentines Ball and it was a mistake okay? We were both confused and lonely and it was a mistake! I swear i would never touch her filthy skin again and that's the truth." My insides turned to ice and i didn't want to over hear anymore of this argument after this statement.

"You're a bad liar Draco," Parkinson looked at him tears in her eyes as she whispered meekly to him.

"I know," he whispered back and gave her a hug.

I ran from the sanctuary of my library to my room sobbing and slamming the door behind me. I threw myself onto my bed and screamed into my pillow not even bothering to silence my room. I wanted him to hear the pain he had caused me and i hoped it cut him like a hot knife through butter as his words had done to me.

"You better go talk to her," Pansy sniffed and then she left.

Chapter Eighteen

Sorry doesn't cut it

Draco knocked on my door softly.

"Fuck the hell off ferret boy!" i yelled back to his constant and annoying tapping. I picked up my wand and waved it at the door charming it to lock. He tried to open it to no avail and tried to unlock it again to no avail. His magic could never beat mine. He tried once more and then there was nothing but silence after that.

I put my head back onto my pillow relieved that he had left me alone when the door to the hallway leading to our separate bathrooms opened and Malfoy walked in aggravating me to know that no matter how i tried i could never have peace and that he would not leave me be.

"What do you want asshole i thought i told you to fuck off!" i cursed like a sailor.

"To say I'm sorry," was his weak reply to my weaker question.

"I tried to say I'm sorry and you didn't listen to me. I'm not going to sit here and listen to your contradicting bullshit. All right?"

"How can you do this?" he questioned me this time.

"How can I do What Malfoy?" i responded with another question quickly.

"How can you pretend like what we did never happened because I'm finding it fucking difficult? You don't want me fine; you don't want to be my friend fine. So how can you act like this after sticking your nose into my business telling another person what you've been telling yourself all along? This is what you wanted isn't it for us to be a mistake? You said it yourself it was a mistake the whole thing was a fucking mistake!" he ranted and raved at me furious at my drama queen behavior.

"That which does not kill me makes me stronger Malfoy! Listen to yourself! It was **YOUR IDEA** to help me! You made this mistake! If you had not come to me and stuck **YOUR NOSE** in my business this would never have had to happen!"

"As you keep pointing out! It's my entire fault! Well it takes two to tango Granger or are you afraid to admit your are not perfect?" his anger got the best of him as did mine and i pushed him backwards causing him to fall onto my couch.

"You're the one to speak to me what about your sister Malfoy huh? Ever think that if you told someone she existed before the did what they did to her she might have lived?"

"You leave her out of this i never once brought up potter!"

"Yeah what about Harry huh? What about what you did to Harry? Proud of that Malfoy? He paid for his mistake with his life! What is your punishment for your mistakes? For my mistakes? It went to far Malfoy! Harry is dead! I forgave him for what he did to me but you! I'll never forgive you ferret now get out!"

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know,_

_Please don't say your sorry,_

_I heard it all before and I can take care of myself._

_I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know,_

_Please don't say forgive me,_

_I've seen it all before and I can't take it anymore._

_You're not half the man you think you are_

_Save your words because you've gone too far_

_and listen to your lies and all your stories,_

_You're not half the man you'd like to be._

_I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know,_

_Please don't say your sorry,_

_I heard it all before and I can take care of myself._

_I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know,_

_Please don't say forgive me,_

_I've seen it all before and I can't take it anymore._

_Don't explain yourself cause talk is cheap,_

_There's more important things than hearing you speak._

_You stay because i made it so convenient_

_Don't explain yourself you'll never see_

_I'm Sorry, I'm Sorry_, _I'm Sorry_

_I'm Sorry_, _I'm Sorry,I'm Sorry_

_Forgive me._

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know,_

_Please don't say your sorry,_

_I heard it all before and I can take care of myself._

_I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know,_

_Please don't say forgive me,_

_I've seen it all before and I can't take it anymore._

_I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know,_

_Please don't say your sorry,_

_I heard it all before and I can take care of myself._

_I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know,_

_Please don't say forgive me,_

_I've seen it all before and I can't take it anymore._

_I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know, (Don't explain yourself cause talk is cheap)_

_Please don't say your sorry,(There's more important things than hearing you speak)_

_I heard it all before and I can take care of myself._

_I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know,_

_Please don't say forgive me,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

_I've heard it all before,_

Malfoy just stayed there on the couch staring at me still as a stone.

"Hermoine, Don't..." He begged breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"Don't you Hermoine don't me Malfoy now get the hell out!" i bellowed.

"No I won't," he said his voice calm and collected

"Then I'll make you," i raised my wand.

"Don't you dare you try hex me and i swear I'll break it."

"Petrificus..." he snatched the wand from my hand, "Hey!"

"I won't let you!"

"You and what army?"

"Me and this army," he retorted before snapping my wand. Now there are few things that get me mad, snapping my wand would definitely be at the top of my list just before burning books.

"You'd better replace that," I tried to keep my voice from wavering as anger bubbled to the surface.

"I will if you behave like an adult for once and not some spoilt two year old child. I curled my hand into a fist and king hit him. He went down like a lead balloon and i dragged his heavy ass into his room and left him on the floor. Just for Karma, i pulled his wand from his pocket and snapped it. it wasn't like either of us couldn't afford new ones anyway.

Chapter Nineteen

A pleasant surprise.

I awoke the next morning to find my wand replaced outside my door. I made my way t the kitchen and stretched whilst making a coffee. Once again, Malfoy was nowhere in sight so i decided to go to the Great Hall for breakfast. It was the second last day of the year so the entire seventh year had the day off as all of our exams were over. as always for the past seven years, i searched out my remaining best friend and made my way over to hug my red haired friend.

"To think we will never see this place again after tomorrow," I sighed, "well unless we have kids and they are accepted into here. Tonight is the Graduation ceremony and tomorrow the ball and then it is back to life at the burrow. Any ideas what you want to do post Hogwarts?"

"Harry bless his soul," Ron began, "and I were going to become an Auror. So that's what I'm going to do. How about you Hermoine?"

"I don't know never really thought about it, Hogwarts is the only thing I've really ever known for the last seven years, i don't know how I will'll cope without it."

"Miss Granger," the sharp voice of Mc Gonagall made me jump.

"Yes Professor?" I looked up nervously. I was scared that Malfoy had told someone i had knocked him out but when i really thought about it i erased the idea from my mind knowing fully well he would never tell anyone lest his precious pride be damaged. I started to rack my brain for things i had done. 'I didn't do it and if i did I'm sorry!" i blurted out before i could stop myself.

"What didn't you do Miss Granger? I would hate to see a bad mark so soon to graduation." Her face was still stern as she spoke but her eyes twinkled and i knew she was having a game with me.

"What ever I am in trouble for." She smiled as i said this knowing i had caught onto her game.

"Dear no pet, you're not in trouble but i have something for you," and she handed me a letter alike the day of Harry's funeral but with the Hogwarts crest upon it. Inside i found a letter addressed to me with McGonagall's signature on the bottom.

_To Miss Hermoine Granger,_

_ It is my proud honor to offer you a position here at Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft And Wizardry to learn to teach Transfiguration and tutor students. You will be provided accommodation on premises all year round including the summer as well as all meals and a generous salary. Please respond when you are ready._

_Signed Sincerely,_

_Minerva McGonagall._

I had almost hit Ron in my excitement and hugged him in sheer joy as i squealed with happiness.

"What is it Hermoine?" Ron asked confused. I handed him the letter and watched as his smile grew wider and wider with each line. When he was finished, it was his turn to almost hit me. He hauled me off my chair and wrapped his arms around me lifting me from the ground. For a split second, i missed the other slice of bread that used to make a sandwich like me but i was soon content with just being butter on toast. i knew in my heart Harry would have been proud of this achievement.

"Blimey Hermoine! Well done Harry would have been so proud of you!" he spoke my thoughts for me, "You always were super good at explaining things and transfiguration was always your best subject. Congratulations i believe celebrations would be in order?"

"Don't get too far ahead of yourself! Celebrating is for later tonight after we all graduate and besides i haven't replied yet!"

"What are you waiting for Christmas?" he pushed me towards the front desk and nodded his head in the direction when i looked back at him. I practically skipped to the teachers table.

"Professor I have your reply," she looked at me pride all over her giant smile.

"Well Miss Granger we haven't got all day besides i can't stand the suspense!"

"Yes Professor, thank you professor for this opportunity you have no idea how much this means to me and i promise i won't let you down."

"Miss Granger you'd be surprised, i have been looking for an heir since i was given this place in very much the same fashion you were and you are the first person i have deemed worthy of it. You are the brightest student Hogwarts has seen since my year and that student was myself. I admit your grades have slipped a fraction this year some unknown reason but you still came out on top... you'll be surprised how far on top actually. When I retire, i wish for it to be you taking my place. You may take the summer off and start next year. I look forward to see you again Miss Granger, I must go now, have a nice day." She walked past me and then turned around to remind me of one last thing.

"Oh and Hermoine the name is Minerva no longer professor McGonagall. So long professor Granger... I mean Hermoine.

We graduated that night in front of all of our parents and I had unbelievably scored out standings on all of my O.W.L.S even though Minerva had said my grades have slipped and ron not far behind me received two out standings and one extraordinary. After finally ridding ourselves of our parents, I looked at Ron who was positively glowing and mouthed "Champagne my dorm," and stuck up ten fingers indicating to meet me in ten minutes. This time i literally skipped with joy down the great hall. I had now finished my studies and had a job.

Ron was talking to Mona when i had arrived.

"Congratulations Hermoine," she hooted, "I have reason to believe you will be working here next year and even more news that you will be keeping this dorm as well!"

"Indeed I am and that is excellent news."

"Yes and isn't it great young Draco also received a position alike yours with Snape?" My stomach sunk i would be spending my life stuck with Malfoy in this castle.

"Yes in fact he and some friends are inside celebrating as we speak."

"Fantastic," I retorted sarcastically, "Asti." and with that she opened so we could enter the party zone. When she had said a few friends, she really should have said our entire grade and it wasn't hard to mingle. I pulled out three bottles of Riccadonna out from amongst the passion pop and rounded up Ron and Neville into my room where we shared the expensive, sweet and excellent quality champagne i had saved for this night though the third bottle was for Harry I happily shared it with Neville pouring three glasses for us all.

"To Professor Hermoine Granger and Professor Draco Malfoy may they never get along!" Ron lifted his glass in a toast.

"Mine's better!"

"What could be better than mine? Very simple and straight to the point," i faked a yawn and he batted me with one of the cushions form the lounge.

"To seven amazing years, filled with adventure and many more to come! To three amazing Gryffindor boys that made me and each of us complete. To Books and Gryffindor, but most of all to Neville, to Harry and to you Ron," and with that everyone outside popped their head in and called "Hear Hear!" Ron looked like he was about to cry.

"Cheers!" the entire grade raised their drinks and drank.

We talked all night about Harry and it calmed me to think of him as the kind warm figure wrapped himself around me when i felt at my lowest and not the snarling figure plundering my body of its rights. I had forgiven him of his sins and prayed that he rest in peace. We finished off the three bottles making crazy spur of the moment toasts until finally we had to go to bed. Tomorrow night was the ball and the night after that we would be going home.

I dreaded having to go with Malfoy but i would drop him as soon as I could. Tomorrow would change my life forever in every single perspective, it would never be what it once was the year I stepped into this school seven years ago eleven years old an already brighter than a fourth year. I never Imagined my life would be like this.

Chapter Twenty

For You To Notice Me

Malfoy paced nervously in the common room waiting impatiently for me. When I finally walked out, he stopped breathing i believe. Dressed completely in white I was amazed that we matched. My dress reaching my feet where again i was wearing my glass slippers. It had no straps and my hair was curly and loose around my shoulders a white and silver ribbon tied in a band around my head alike to Alice in Wonderland's. In his hand, he held a white Magnolia. he tied the corsage to my wrist loosely and we walked in silence to the great hall. I felt relieved but saddened i thought that this would probably be the last chance i had to reconcile with him and no matter how badly i wanted to say something I just could not find the words to say to him.

We walked quietly into the hall together and after fulfilling our traditional first dance parted ways quickly.

"Blimey Hermoine, you look better every time we have some of these shindigs," Ron embraced me tightly.

"Yeah but this will be the last that we'll all attend together."

"Don't remind me," Ron grimaced.

"You look nice Ron where's the date?"

"Here's your butterbeer Ronnibubbles," Neville said as if on cue passing him a butterbeer with a wink.

"Thanks Nevillepettle," he replied blushing into his butterbeer.

"Ronnibubbles? Nevillepettle?" i asked raising an eyebrow at their ridiculous pet nicknames as Neville passed me a butterbeer.

'Don't ask. Would you like a little nip in your butterbeer?" he answered brandishing a small flask full of fire whiskey.

"I'll think I'll pass thanks," i declined politely.

Malfoy stood nervously alone trying to decide if he should come and talk to me. Just as he plucked up the courage, a new guy would come along as ask me to dance and even though some persisted i always declined happy to sit with my best friend and his date, dashing his courage, of course not were slytherin were known for. This time when Blaise Zambini asked me to dance with him i looked past him and caught Malfoy staring uncomfortably. He held my gaze and finally i could not hold it any longer and i looked away blushing. I told Blaise i was flattered but preferred not to dance, as I had no energy after last night's party. I did not notice nor did i count on Ron catching the momentary glance between Malfoy and I and god bless his soul decided to take Neville for a turn on the dance floor.

Ron danced his way over to Malfoy not thinking i had noticed and nudged him though i did not hear what he had whispered to him I could get the idea.

"You know that's she's waiting for you to ask her to dance again and if you know her like I do you'll know she doesn't like to wait and after a while she'll just stop waiting. Who knows with summer coming some guy might sweep her off her feet and she might let him and then she will just throw away real love... Malfoy don't give me that look i saw the way you took look at each other there is an electric connection there.. anyway, as I was saying, she will throw real love away to just wear a mask and pretend to be happy and if she has to wear that mask all her life, she will just crack one day and I do not know how I will cope when she cracks. She has been my rock since year one. Go take a chance Malfoy." Ron encouraged, "You'll never get a chance like right now."

Plucking up all his courage Malfoy finally made his way over to me.

"May I have this dance?" I sat there silent for a moment calculating my answer in my head.

"You mean Ron spent all that time talking to you and that's the best you got?"

"Just shut up and dance with me Granger."

"All right all right, gees didn't anyone ever tell you patience is a virtue?" He bowed low to me as i curtsied.

_See the stone set in your eyes_

_See the thorn twist in your side_

_I wait for you_

I danced silently until finally he spoke to me.

"Hermoine what can i do to make it up to you? To prove how much you really mean to me?"

"Malfoy you already know, i have told you before. I need to trust you; i need to know how you feel."

"Dammnit Hermoine I've already told you how I feel."

"But why Malfoy? I need to know why me? Off all the girls why me? I can't make it cause i know you're going to hurt me again and don't say you wont Malfoy because i know you will. I just can't do us."

"Please Hermoine he took my hand as i had begun to walk away, "give me one chance, until midnight, if i can't trust me and you don't know why by then, I'll let you go. I just don't know if i could ever be without you!"

_Slight of hand and twist of fate_

_On a bed of nails, she makes me wait_

_And I wait without you_

"Can I think about it?"

"Sure," he let my arm go and went and got himself a pumpkin juice before going to stand alone outside as the clock struck ten.

_With or without you_

_With or without you_

_I can't live_

_With or without you_

Once Malfoy had gone outside i helped myself to another butterbeer and sat down to think.

'You really love him don't you?'  
'Shut up brain... Hang on even my brain agrees?'

'Harry would have wanted this.'

'but i can just hate him so much sometimes.'

'but what is love without hate to make you see the love you have?'

'Oh great I'm arguing with myself this Malfoy is making me crazy.'

'Don't deny him the chance if it doesn't work you can get on with your life without ever having to think what if?'

'Sounds reasonable.'

'Then what are you waiting for? go over there give him his chance.'

'patience is a virtue he made me wait now i will make him wait.'

'Do it now!"

'shut up brain i give the orders around here'

'oh really?' it asked sarcastically like it didn't believe me... get that my own brain didn't believe me.

'yes now shut up.'

'yes madam.'

_Through the storm we reach the shore_

_You give it all but I want more_

_And I'm waiting for you_

Malfoy stood outside gazing at the stars and the moon trying to think of how to win my heart when he realized he had known all along and she had told him long ago repeatedly how to win her heart. Apart from that he decided to play it by ear.

I waited until the clock had stuck 11 before i made my way towards him.

"Have you reached a decision?" he asked me as i approached.

"Yes Malfoy, you have an hour to convince me."

"Accio broom," i raised my eyebrows as his firebolt 07 made its way towards him.

"i hate flying," i stated the obvious;" I've told you that."

"if i have to gain your trust you must give me a little of it."

_With or without you_

_With or without you_

_I can't live_

_With or without you_

"All right then," I got on the broom and held on tightly. Malfoy got on behind me and put his hands on top of mine.

"Loosen up a little, i can't control this if you try and steer it with that death grip trust me." I loosened my grip as told, "thanks that's heaps better." I felt my feet lift off the ground and i sealed my eyes shut tightly until finally we came to a stop in mid air.

"You can open your eyes now, you're safe, and I won't let you fall." Slowly i pried one eye open and then gradually the other until i was staring wide eyed at the breathtaking scene before me.

_And you give yourself away _

_And you give yourself away _

_And you give And you give _

_And you give yourself away_

"It doesn't matter what you do for a living,

i want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your hearts longing.

It doesn't interest me to know how old you are,

I want to know if you will risk looking a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon,

I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and cold from fear of further pain.

i want to know if you can sit with sorrow, mine and your own without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine and your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true,

I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusations of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty everyday and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failures, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver moon "Yes!"

it doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have,

I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done and feed the children.

It doesn't interest me where you live or how you came to be here,

I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied,

I want to know what sustains you form the inside when all else fades away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments," He whispered into my ear as we floated about the school alight with students celebrating some never returning and others returning the next year for their final year and others who would return for many more.

_My hands are tied My body bruised, _

_she's got me with Nothing to win and _

_Nothing left to lose_

"Hermoine I love you because even when i was shouting no one ever heard me, no one ever listened they were all clones who behaved how they are told to behave not to like who they were told not to like and to like who they were told to like. No one noticed me out of all these clones. You broke down those boundaries for me, for **ME!** The ferret, son of a death eater who called you mudblood and made your life uncomfortable. I knew like i knew no one else and you were the one person that society said i should have never known. I can't help but admire your courage and your strength and your will to carry on when everything seems so hopeless. If I told you all of the reasons why I love you, we would be here for decades even centuries. I just know i love you because you noticed me when no one else did."

_And you give yourself away _

_And you give yourself away _

_And you give _

_And you give _

_And you give yourself away_

_With or without you_

_With or without you_

_I can't live_

_With or without you_

_With or without you_

_With or without you_

_I can't live_

_With or without you_

_With or without you _

I was stunned to silence in an hour Malfoy had figured out exactly how to put his heart on the line. We floated there in silence the only thing that told us the difference between the stars in the sky and the stars on the ground was gravity and he held me tight not once letting me fall.

"We should be getting back i said finally." I couldn't help this nagging feeling inside of me that i would only get hurt again but the whole way back not once did i shut my eyes and the world went past as if a blur until finally my feet were back on solid ground.

"Malfoy..."

"Yes Hermoine." He looked so hopeful but so devastated as though he already knew what o was about to say.

"Ever since that first day this year you noticed me but i never really noticed you and i never thought about why you acted this way and I feel so sorry about your sister and your parents and your entire life and i just wish it could have been better and most of all i wish i could make it all better with a flick of my wand but i know there is nothing i can do to make it better no matter how much i wish it to be so."

"Hermoine?"

"I'm sorry, so sorry Malfoy." He looked at me and he looked torn between love, honour, and pride. He did not want to betray his word t me but he was willing to risk looking a fool for love. He looked at the clock frantic.

"I have five more minutes."

"Why waste the time Malfoy."

"Cause every second with you is precious five last minutes with you that is all i ask. Please give me these last five minutes of your time."

"Well i guess i did say until 12."

I allowed Malfoy to lead me to the dance floor and wrapped me in his arms.

_I'm starting to fashion an idea in my head_

_where I would impress you_

_with every single word I said._

_Would come out insightful or brave or smooth or charming_

_and you'd want to call me_

The only sounds i could hear was the music and his voice singing the words softly against the beating of his heart. He looked at her and it was clear in his mind and no matter how tacky it may seem he had to say he had to tell her how he really felt inside and the passion she ignited in him.

_And I would be there every time_

_you'd need me_

_I'd be there every time..._

Hermoine, you make my hands shake and leave me speechless with a single look. All i know was when I was screaming and no one heard, you noticed me. You heard it loud and clear. You listened and you learned. I love that you are always learning and well love can hurt you sometimes but would never leave you. I always thought my life never had a purpose but now i know that my purpose in life is you. And if you could notice me before I am begging you to notice me again.

'He has a good argument.'

'I thought i told you to shut up?'

'If you let this man go you'll be miserable for the rest of your life just tell him how you feel!' My hands were sweaty and my pulse raced. Dared I risk my pride for love?

_But for now I'll look so longingly_

_waiting..._

_For you to want me, for you to need me, for you to notice me_

"You take my breath away just by breathing yourself and so long as you breathe and so much longer after that I will always love you." The clock struck twelve and Malfoy looked at me anxiously.

_I'm starting to fashion an idea in my head_

_where I would impress you_

_with every single word I said._

_Would come out insightful or brave or smooth or charming_

_and you'd want to call me_

Slowly i inched my face towards him and shut my eyes as he did the same to me and ever so slowly our faces came ever closer our breath mingling with the others.

_And I would be there every time_

_You'd need me_

_I'd be there every time..._

"I love you Malfoy now cut the crap and kiss me already," I whispered onto his lips.

"I love you too Granger." Then he put his arm around my waist before finally he pulled his lips in to meet mine.

Ronnibubbles raised his hand and brought them together in celebration of the couple finally finding love letting go of their pasts, and their pride to give love a try. Before long the whole room was filled with applause including slytherin many of the girls wiping a tear from their eyes at the romantic love story.

Finally, we breathed for air but never did he let me go.

"Do you wanna go and check out our dorm for one last visit as students?" i asked with a wink of my own. His face looked bewildered at my proposal.

"Are you for real?" he looked at me as if i was crazy. I nodded my head and pulled him out of the Great Hall and into our future together.

The End!

FOR YOU TO NOTICE ME

Soundtrack

You can get all this Music from me Just send me an e-mail the song by Jase E is incredibly hard to find as it is one of mine so I will happily send you this music or if you like I will burn you a cd and mail it to you at no cost to you!

So here it is the Soundtrack For you to Notice me and just so you know instead of writing an epilogue I will be writing another story to cover the ending of this story called My Happily Ever After! Stay Tuned guys and don't forget to read my other stories and ideas and tell me what you think! Thanks to everyone who reviewed for being so kind and those who gave me constructive criticism I really appreciate it and I beg you if you liked these please read my other stories and check out my page and tell me what you think of ideas I am always open to ideas and **constructive** criticism! Please read **10 ways to kill Draco Malfoy** by **Drakulya** it is my favourite and I assure you you will love it just like me!

So I just think I have said all that needs to be said to conclude this story thank you so much for reading even if you don't review I hope you enjoyed it

Lots Of Love

Perfect Butterfly Blade

Jase E- Oh Love

Kate Derouge- Maybe Tonight

Avril Lavigne- Fall To Pieces

Placebo-Every me Every You

James Blunt-Goodbye My lover

Missy Higgins-Sound Of White

DHT- Listen to your heart

Something For Kate- You Only Hide

Missy Higgins- Dancing Dirt Into The Snow

Fuel- Falls On Me

Kelly Clarkson- Behind these Hazel Eyes

Simple Plan- How Could This Happen To Me

Blessed Union Of Souls- Peace and Love

Cosima De Vito- When The War Is Over

Ben Lee- Gamble Everything For Love

Britney Spears- From the Bottom Of My Broken Heart

Sinead O Connor- Nothing Compares To You

The Killers- Mr Brightside

Maddonna- Sorry

U2- With Or Without You

Dashboard Confessional- For You To Notice Me


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